holiday.”
I tried to hide my disappointment. “But we haven’t had our tea! You must have time for tea.”
Les shook his head. “I really have to go.” He touched my breast. “And anyway, it’s really hard to concentrate with her screaming like that.”
I followed him to the front door.
“When am I going to see you again?”
“Soon. I’ll drop by.”
“Maybe we could have lunch one day.”
“Yeah,” said Les. “That’d be great. I’ll ring you, OK?”
I said, “OK.”
Shinola shrieked. If she was a car alarm someone would’ve smashed the windscreen by now.
Shinola was still screaming when the doctor’s receptionist from hell came home.
“What on earth have you been doing to this baby?” she demanded.
She grabbed her out of my arms. As per usual, she was all sweet and soft and coocoocoo with Shinola. But not with me.
“What were you doing to let her get in this state?” she demanded. She looked me up and down. “Putting on make-up?”
She said it like it was a crime or something.
“No,” I said. “I put it on before. Anyway, the book says it’s all right to let her cry.”
She rocked Shinola back and forth in her arms.
“Maybe you should get another book,” said my mother.
I was beginning to think they’d forgotten about me, but Shanee, Gerri and Amie finally found some time in their busy lives to pay me a visit.
I was really warming to my story. I’d had all the other mothers in the maternity ward and the nurses and everyone to tell about my experience, but this was the first time I’d told the story of Shinola’s birth to any of my friends. It was having a powerful effect.
“Oh, my God…” screeched Gerri. “Weren’t you terrified?”
“I can’t believe I wasn’t here when you needed me,” said Shanee. “Poor Lana.”
Amie held up her hands. “Please,” she begged, “I’ve heard enough. I’m never having children unless I can have a Caesarean.”
“That hurts too,” said Shanee.
“It can’t be as bad as what Lana went through,” said Amie. She shuddered. “I can’t even think of it without feeling sick.”
I laughed. I was enjoying myself. I felt really grown up, telling them all about giving birth and stuff. At last I knew something none of them knew.
“It wasn’t all that bad, really,” I said. “I mean, you know you’re not dying or anything. And, besides, you forget about it as soon as you see your baby.”
“Speaking of your baby, when do we see her?” asked Gerri.
I glanced at the clock. Babies are meant to follow a routine – sleep, eat, get changed, go back to sleep – but Shinola liked to leave out as much of the sleep bit as she could. She usually finally passed out round about the time she should’ve been waking up again.
“I put her to bed just before you came. She won’t be up for at least an hour.”
“We don’t have that long,” said Shanee. “I’ve got to get back to mind the brats.”
“Can’t we just take a peek?” asked Gerri.
I’d’ve preferred to have time to dress Shinola up in one of her cute little dresses, you know, so she looked less froggy. On the other hand, I did want to show her off.
“All right,” I said. “But you have to be quiet.”
We tiptoed into the bedroom and all stood round Shinola’s cot. She looked really sweet in her yellow sleep bag.
“What’s wrong with her skin?” asked Gerri.
“Nothing,” I whispered. “All babies look like that.”
“Do they all have hair like that, too?” asked Amie. “And flaky eyebrows?”
“For God’s sake!” I hissed at her. “She’s only just been born. Give her a chance.”
“So does she look like Les?” asked Amie.
“I think she looks like Lana,” said Shanee.
“She looks like Les,” I assured them. “Except she’s not so tall.”
“What did he say when he saw her?” asked Gerri.
It was always Gerri with the big mouth.
“He was delirious.” Which I was sure he would be. Eventually. “He came over as soon as he got back from Manchester.”
I didn’t want them thinking Les wasn’t so interested in me, so I’d told them he’d been sent up to Manchester with his job. It sounded better than him going on holiday to Greece.
“Where was your mum?” asked Gerri. “Don’t tell me they’ve finally met!”
I gave her a look. “Not likely. She still doesn’t know about him.” I gave her another look. “And she’s not going to. Not yet.”
“That’s going to make conjugal visits a little dodgy, isn’t it?” asked Gerri.
“Come on.” I grabbed hold of her and Amie and tugged. “Let’s go back to the living-room. We’re going to wake her up.”
They’d all been oohing and aahing right over the cot, and we’d had a whole conversation right over her head, but it was the really soft shutting of the bedroom door that woke her. Click went the door and the next sound was Shinola Spiggs going off like a car alarm.
“Geez,” said Gerri. “Is there a pin in her or something?”
I rolled my eyes. “Pampers don’t have
“Does she always scream like that?” asked Amie.
“Do you want me to get her?” asked Shanee.
“She’ll be all right. I’ll put on some music, it’ll help her sleep.”
I put on an Oasis CD and made us all some tea.
Gerri started telling me about her new boyfriend. He was a bicycle courier and had a terrific body. Plus, he was gorgeous. Plus, he made good money.
Shinola kept crying, but the Gallaghers’ whining was pretty good at blocking her out. You could only just hear her under the music. Shanee glanced towards the hallway a few times, but I pretended I thought Shinola had gone back to sleep and Shanee didn’t say anything.
I started really enjoying myself again. Only now I didn’t feel grown up, like when I talked about having Shinola. I just felt like me.
Amie had a part-time job in one of the pizza places on the high street. The boss was a miserable old git, but the tips weren’t bad.
Shinola kept crying.
Shanee stood up suddenly. “I think we’d better get going.” She looked towards the hall.
“You don’t have to go so soon,” I said. I grabbed the pot from the table. “Why don’t I make us all more tea?”
Gerri and Amie both looked at Shanee.
“I’ve got stuff to do, too,” said Gerri.
Amie winked. “And I’m expecting an important call.”
That meant a boy.
I had to stop myself from shoving her back in her seat. “He’ll call back,” I insisted. “Just have another cup of tea.”
“Next time,” said Gerri.
