from the phone, she shouted, ‘ Hey, I said hold on.’ Then she was back. ‘ Greg is pumping gas as fast as he can. But people are getting ugly, and we’ re running out of money, so he’ s telling them they can have five bucks’ worth each and that’ s it. Your man Armando is pissed.’
‘ Any TV crews?’ I asked meekly.
‘ Yeah!’ she answered, suddenly excited. ‘ Channel Two is setting up, and the Channel Four truck is trying to get here, but it’ s tough with all the people& Hold on. Lady, I don’ t pump nobody’ s gas& . Yeah?& Well, don’ t make me tell you what you can do with that pump.’
‘ Hold down the fort,’ I urged. ‘ I’ ll be right there.’
I reached Burbank in minutes, and I parked a few blocks away to avoid the traffic backup. From there, balloons in hand-no telling why I grabbed them, probably clinging to the vestiges of the joyous day it was supposed to be-I started to run to the station at a pretty good clip, thanks to the training I’ d been doing with Martucci.
Oh no. Martucci.
He picked up on the second ring. ‘ How’ s it going?’ I huffed, still running, balloons bouncing against one another above me.
‘ Fuckin’ nuts,’ he said. ‘ But it’ s handled. Phyllis made a sign that says ‘ No Free Gas.’ We coned off the entrance, and we’ ve got cops here directing traffic.’
‘ Cops? There are cops?’
‘ They gave us a ticket. The fine’ s eight hundred bones, but at least the crowd’ s under control now.’
‘ I don’ t understand why this is happening& .’
‘ Some guy told me they’ re broadcasting the locations-all the channels. They’ re telling people to grab a friend so they have a carpool and head on down to get in line for their free gas. I’ ve got entire fucking families here. A guy drove over from El Monte-that’ s twenty miles for a damn tank of gas.’
‘ They were supposed to keep it a secret!’
‘ It ain’ t a secret no more, babe.’
As I neared the gas station, cars were lined up so deep that they were nearly stacked on top of one another, and each had more than one person in it. The honking was deafening. The gas station had two islands with four pumps per island-all were busy. News trucks for Channels 2 and 4 and Fox News were parked at odd angles at the periphery of the property and were filming the mayhem. Armando furiously directed traffic in and out of the station.
‘ Hey, lady,’ a man yelled, leaning out of a pickup, ‘ I been waiting for forty-five minutes. Can’ t they pump faster? I’ m late for work!’
Brie sidled up to me. ‘ We don’ t need balloons. Looks like everybody knows it’ s a party.’
‘ This is a disaster,’ I moaned.
‘ Not yet, ‘ cause Lizbeth’ s not here. Then it’ ll be a disaster. But hey,’ she said, ‘ plenty of TV coverage!’ A TV camera pointed at irate customers while a reporter held a microphone to interview them.
‘ How much money do we have left?’
‘ Beats me. Greg took a bunch of candy bars and gum from the snack stand-he’ s handing them out and begging people to go away. I saw him crying at one point. Them artist types are pretty delicate.’
I understood how he felt.
‘ Thanks for handling this, Brie. These people are insane. It’ s only free gas! You’ d figure we were handing out diamonds!’
‘ Folks like to get something for nothing. And don’ t you worry. I’ ve been doing Tae Bo, so nobody better mess with me. But you need to handle it fast. When Greg runs out of candy bars, we could have a riot on our hands.’
‘ Tell you what,’ I said. ‘ Go find something that you can use to make a sign. Write ‘ No Free Gas’ in big letters and then stick it by that tree. And here-’ I handed her the balloons. ‘ Start giving these out to the kids.’
‘ You got it.’
I grabbed my cell phone from my pocket and called Susan, who was still at home getting ready for work. ‘ You need to help me,’ I blurted when she answered. After explaining the situation, I told her to get on the horn-I actually used those words, ‘ get on the horn,’ that’ s how crazed I was-and tell the TV stations to stop broadcasting the locations. The gas giveaway was over.
As was my career, probably, but first things first.
Then I marched over to where the news vans were parked. I was in charge here, and I needed to start acting like it. Crystal Davis, a reporter for Channel 5, stood patting her face with powder. She’ d been with them for about a thousand years; her face was amazingly preserved, and I don’ t think that hair would move in a monsoon. I introduced myself, then quickly said, ‘ You need to tell people to stop coming down.’
‘ Are you the one in charge here?’ she asked.
It wasn’ t easy to admit. ‘ Yes.’
‘ Good. We need an interview. Ready?’
‘ No& um& yes& um& Give me a second.’ Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Lizbeth surveying the situation and appearing-grrr, not angry or panicked, which would have at least preserved my dignity- but utterly delighted. Her face said, Gee, all this fun and it’ s not even my birthday! I hated her with a white hot heat, but only for a second. Then I remembered that as the senior staffer here, it was her job to do the interview. The thought of her having to clean up my mess cheered me immeasurably.
‘ Be right back,’ I told Crystal, and trotted over to my boss. ‘ Lizbeth!’ I said breezily. ‘ Channel Five wants to talk to you about-’
‘ Not a chance.’
‘ But as the-’
‘ I wouldn’ t want to deprive you of your big moment. Lou Bigwood showed all that confidence in you-didn’ t even feel the need to check with me before assigning you the project. Too bad it seems to have gone awry.’
If she wasn’ t going to take the heat for me, I sure wasn’ t going to put up with her insults. I spun on my heel
