She lifted her head. ‘ You didn’ t hear? She’ s gone. Dr. Death fired her an hour ago. Escorted her out the door. He gave her enough time to pack up a couple boxes, and that was it.’
‘ Lizbeth was fired? Lizbeth was fired?’
‘ Tossed out on her skinny behind.’
‘ Why?’
‘ Beats me. Nobody knows. She didn’ t see it coming, I’ ll tell you that. I know she’ s white, but I never seen anybody that white. She looked like a ghost seeing a ghost.’
‘ That’ s unbelievable.’
Lizbeth fired! I couldn’ t get my mind around it. Ding-dong, the witch is dead. I should have been elated, should have been dancing with the Munchkins in the streets. But I stood there, numb with confusion. How could Lizbeth possibly have gotten fired? ‘ It’ s so strange,’ I muttered.
‘ Yeah, and you want to know the saddest part? She took her TV. Now how am I going to watch The Guiding Light? Shoot-and Buzz was about to find out whether Olivia’ s been cheating on him with his evil twin.’
Rumors flew the rest of the day. They ranged from Lizbeth getting fired for sabotaging my gas giveaway (my personal favorite and one I did nothing to squelch) to a lovers’ quarrel between her and Bigwood.
Finally, I couldn’ t stand it any longer and went to find Phyllis. She was close to Bigwood. Maybe she’ d know. Mostly likely she knew. The question was: Would she tell?
‘ Hey, Phyllis,’ I said, peering into her space. It was a windowless room that sat off of Bigwood’ s office. Papers were stacked against every wall and littered her desk. She had a door, though-the only secretary to have one, underscoring her clout. ‘ Got a minute?’
‘ Sure. What’ s up?’
I pointed toward where her office led into Bigwood’ s and mouthed, ‘ Is he in there?’
She shook her head. I shut the door behind me and helped myself to a mini Snickers from a dish on her desk, then took a seat.
‘ First off, I’ m not in here to gossip,’ I said. ‘ I am hoping to get information.’
‘ About& ?’
‘ Why Lizbeth was fired.’
‘ Last I heard, she was embezzling. Or was it that she was discovered trying to use one of those blowup dolls to ride in the carpool lane?’
‘ I’ m serious,’ although I’ d heard that last one myself from Brie minutes earlier. ‘ You may think that this is none of my business, but I am involved. I was in charge of a gas giveaway that went badly. The next thing I know, my boss is being escorted out.’
Phyllis tipped back in her chair, her hands forming a steeple in front of her face. ‘ So are you here to take the blame or the credit?’
‘ It’ s not like that. I’ m not going to fake any love for Lizbeth. She was the worst boss I’ ve ever had. I’ m thrilled that she’ s gone. But Dr. Death& um, I mean Ivan& did a lot of poking into what happened. If Lizbeth messed up my project, I deserve to be told.’
‘ What makes you think I’ d know?’
‘ You know everything.’
‘ Point taken.’ After regarding me a moment longer, she said, ‘ You’ re not hearing this from me. I’ m telling you because I owe you one. Lizbeth was squeaky clean, and so, for the record, were you. As best we can determine, a guy at Fox News took it upon himself to stir things up. The other TV stations followed suit.’
‘ If that’ s the case, why don’ t we say something? We look like fools, and it wasn’ t even our fault!’
‘ Lou’ s chummy with people high up at Fox. They all belong to the same country club. Anyway, the gas station owner wanted blood. We gave him blood. Lizbeth’ s. It was the easiest way to stay out of court.’
‘ That’ s so awful. It wasn’ t even her fault.’
‘ You’ d rather you got canned?’
‘ Of course not.’ I took another Snickers, a question forming. ‘ But why wasn’ t it me? I was in charge of the project. Plus, I’ m the one the gas station manager was so angry with.’
‘ That I don’ t have the answer to. I suspect it may be that Lou sees potential in you& thought you might deserve another shot. And you know, with Lizbeth gone that means there’ s a vacant position now.’
Or in other words, just because I was in the house that landed on Lizbeth didn’ t mean I couldn’ t yank off her ruby slippers.
‘ When are they going to post the position?’ I asked.
‘ Didn’ t you learn anything from the last time you got passed over for the job? That’ s not what Lou’ s about. He doesn’ t put people in management unless he sees that spark in them. Then rules and protocol be damned. They’ re hired on the spot.’
‘ Spark? Come on, Phyllis, who are you kidding? He hires eye candy.’
‘ Is your friend Susan only eye candy? Am I? If you want the job, prove yourself. The braless stunt you pulled was brilliant.’ I felt myself go hot with embarrassment as she continued, oblivious that it hadn’ t been an intentional career move. ‘ That’ s enough to get noticed, but it won’ t close the deal. You’ ve got to deliver the goods.’
‘ Deliver the goods! I am not sleeping with Lou Bigwood!’
She tipped her chair forward so that she landed with a thud and gave me a hard stare. In that moment, I could picture her around the pool hall with the other Hell’ s Angels, talking trash and chugging cigarettes. I wondered if that was why Bigwood kept her around-because he was afraid of her. ‘ Do I strike you as a pimp? I thought you were bright, but you’ re not getting it. Do something. Make it big so it wows the pants off him. And do it soon before he finds a honey who’ s willing to wow him first.’
Chapter 14
