5. May be only chance to be a mom
6. Could cross off #3: Change someone’ s life in bold strokes
7. Taking action = getting what you want from life, i.e., Alison Freeman *1
Reasons Not to Adopt the Baby
1. Being a single mom perhaps not all it’ s cracked up to be
2. I want a baby, but do I want a baby now?
3. Could I love baby that wasn’ t ‘ mine’ ?
4. Possibility of suddenly meeting man of dreams, having fairytale wedding, and starting own family with own biological children sooner than expected, i.e., Alison Freeman *2
As soon as I wrote the pros and cons, I dismissed #3 under Reasons Not to Adopt the Baby. Of course I’ d love the baby. Look at Angelina Jolie. Would anyone ever believe that a woman who wore a vial of blood around her neck could form a maternal bond so deeply and so quickly? Yet she can’ t seem to collect enough of the little tykes. Love wasn’ t the issue.
There were decidedly more yeas than nays on the list. But that alone wasn’ t enough to tip the scales. What was the weight of each argument? Was there any one that trumped them all? Was there a deal breaker in there? I couldn’ t be sure. Perhaps I could call my old friend Linda who’ d done the boyfriend spreadsheet for me to see if she could whip up a logical calculation determining what I should do now.
I sighed and tossed aside the list. This was not a decision I’ d make logically.
It would be an act of the heart.
Whatever I chose to do-to adopt or not to adopt-my life would be forever altered. This could be my chance to make up for everything I’ d ever let slide.
Then again, it could be the biggest mistake I’ d ever make.
‘ SO AM I CRAZY for considering it?’ I asked Martucci on our Monday morning run. I was running a nine-minute mile at this point. More important, what I was doing resembled running, versus the walking with spurts of gasping and collapsing I’ d started out doing. Without a bathroom scale I didn’ t know if I’ d dropped any weight, but my skinny clothes were fitting better. That was a hopeful sign.
‘ Sounds as if you’ ve more than considered it. Sounds like you’ ve made up your mind. And it’ s great you’ re going to adopt this kid. Being a parent is the best thing that can happen to a person.’
I’ d learned enough about Martucci from running with him to know that he didn’ t have children himself. Or a wife, for that matter. Not sure about the girlfriend-I preferred to remain ignorant. ‘ What do you know about kids?’
‘ With these Italian genes? I’ ve got thirteen nieces and nephews. Two more in the oven as we speak. My brother in Pittsburgh’ s got a wife that pops them out like toaster pastries.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘ Okay, let’ s move it. Sixty seconds of sprinting& go!’
I hurled myself around the track. The 5K race was in two weeks. I wasn’ t going to win it, but thanks to my training, I wouldn’ t make a fool of myself, either. After the minute, which felt like an hour, I slowed to a jog again. ‘ You plan to have any of your own?’ I asked, huffing. ‘ Kids?’
‘ Someday. I’ m in no hurry. God favors us men. We can spread our seed even when we need a gallon of Viagra to get it up. A woman in her thirties, though& I’ ll bet your clock’ s ticking like a bomb.’
‘ It wasn’ t before. I mean, I knew I wanted kids. But I was never panicked about it. Now all of a sudden I am.’
He mulled it over and then said, ‘ Makes perfect sense. It’ s like how sometimes you don’ t feel hungry. But you go by a fast-food place and smell the food. Next thing you know, you’ re starved. It’ s not that you didn’ t need food before. You just didn’ t know how hungry you were until food came along.’
‘ Exactly!’ Who knew Martucci was so wise? ‘ But why is it,’ I asked him, ‘ you think I’ ve made up my mind?’
‘ You told me point-blank when you got here that you were going to adopt a kid in a couple months.’
I stopped in my tracks. ‘ I did?’
Martucci circled back around and stood jogging in place in front of me. ‘ Yeah.’
‘ Just like that? I said it?’
He reminded me of the conversation, and he was right. I’ d said it. Popped out of my mouth. I’ m going to adopt a kid in a few months. It hadn’ t been ‘ I might’ or ‘ Maybe I will.’ I’ d said, ‘ I’ m going to.’ That was when I realized. It wasn’ t a decision of the mind. Or even of the heart.
It was pure gut.
And my gut said yes.
Yes, yes, yes!
‘ Oh, my God!’ I said. ‘ I’ m going to be a mother!’
‘ Congratulations.’
‘ Thanks.’ My mind swirled with endorphins and excitement. Even my elbows felt buzzy. Oh, I knew there was still much to do before anything was 100 percent certain. I’ d need to get a lawyer that specialized in this sort of thing, or at the very least download legal forms off the Internet. I’ d have to sit down with Deedee and her mom to work out the kinks. But there was no doubt in my mind, or in my belly, anyway: I’ d do what it took to make it happen.
‘ So what’ s your family say about this?’ Martucci asked.
‘ I haven’ t told them. I haven’ t told anybody.’
‘ I’ m the first to know?’
