and reservations about Mike, she loved him. The baby was a tremendous bond.
“Why don’t we just see what happens?” she said hesitantly, not wanting to trust this too quickly. It was all she could offer him. She wasn’t sure if she could trust him, or if she even wanted to. But she didn’t want to lose him again either. Neither for the baby, nor herself. She wanted this to work. She had a huge investment in their relationship, in her womb.
“Will you let me take you to dinner? Or visit you at the restaurant?” She nodded, and he looked enormously relieved as she stood up. He knew that her willingness to try again was more than he deserved. She looked as though she were hiding a basketball under her shirt, and he smiled. Without thinking, he reached a hand out and touched her belly from where he sat on the stoop, and was stunned when it kicked him, hard. “Does that mean he likes me or he’s mad at me?” he teased her. It touched his heart now that he had felt the baby kick.
“Maybe both,” she answered, smiling slowly. She was happy he was back, even if she was afraid he’d run away again. “And what makes you so sure it’s a boy?”
“A girl would be okay too. Is that what you want?” She nodded.
“That would be easier if I’m alone.” He nodded too. He understood. He wasn’t making any promises yet, just opening a door for both of them. It was a door he had been terrified to touch before, and now he was finally prying it slowly open. The hinges on it had rusted years before.
They walked slowly back to the restaurant, and he stood in front of it with her. “I’ll call you. Could you do dinner tomorrow night?” She nodded.
“Thank you for coming, Mike. That was brave of you. Very brave.” She knew how hard it must have been for him, and he had come anyway. Whatever happened, he had done the right thing, or was trying to, and so was she, by giving him a chance.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said softly, and then awkwardly, he bent to kiss her cheek, touched her shoulder, and walked away. And as April walked back into the restaurant, she was smiling, and wiped away the tears rolling down her cheeks.
As he said he would, Mike called her the next day. He asked her what kind of food she liked to eat these days, and she requested something bland. She had heartburn now most of the time. He suggested an Italian restaurant they both knew and liked. He said he’d pick her up at eight. And he was there promptly. She was waiting in her restaurant, and went outside when she saw him arrive.
The restaurant they were going to was nearby, and they walked there easily. He asked about her restaurant, and she inquired about his work. They had lost the ease they had previously had with each other. But by the end of dinner, with a glass of Chianti for him, they both started to relax. He told her some funny stories about restaurants he’d reviewed, and one where he swore they’d poisoned him. They talked about her family, and she told him about Jack and her mother. And eventually, they strolled back to her place. They were both surprised by how long they had sat and talked. It was almost midnight. But they had a lot of ground to cover in a short time. He invited her to go to a play with him the following weekend. The theater critic at the paper had given him the tickets, and he thought it was something she’d enjoy. It was a musical comedy that was a current smash hit. She hadn’t been to the theater in years.
The week after that, he took her to the movies, and for a hamburger afterward. They met at Central Park one afternoon and took a walk. And she invited him to dinner at the restaurant one Sunday night. He ordered pancakes again, and they both laughed. After three weeks of seeing a lot of each other, they were enjoying each other as they had before, even if only briefly. The stiffness had disappeared, and he had put his hand on her belly several times, and loved to feel the baby kick. She told him that if he spoke to it, it could hear him talk and would recognize his voice when it was born. He found that hard to believe, but lowered his face near her belly, and talked to it and said it better be nice to its mother, and that he was lucky to have her as his mother and that she was a fabulous chef. He was still convinced it was a boy. And one afternoon, they started talking about names. He liked Owen for some reason, and she Zoe. And then they decided they both liked Sam if it was a boy.
“Sam Wyatt has a nice sound to it.” She smiled up at him. They had had another nice evening together, and were coming back to her place late, after they had seen a movie. The restaurant was already closed, and everyone had gone home.
“I was actually thinking of Sam Steinman,” Mike said.
“It goes well with both,” she said diplomatically, not wanting to count on anything, but their time together was going well. They held hands now in the movies or when they walked, and even at the dinner table, but he hadn’t dared to kiss her yet.
“Do you want to come in for a glass of wine?” she offered when they got to the restaurant. “Or a cup of tea?” It was a balmy March evening, with unseasonably warm weather. It felt like spring. The following week she would be seven months pregnant, and she felt like she was getting bigger every day. The doctor said the baby was big.
“A cup of tea would be nice. I love the French decaf vanilla tea you have.”
“So do I,” she said with a smile, and unlocked the door. They turned on the lights in the kitchen, and she made them both a cup of the vanilla tea, and they sat on stools at the kitchen counter and drank it. They talked about the movie they’d seen, and disagreed amicably about the director’s message. It had been a Polish film and had a very dramatic ending. She squirmed as they sat on the stool. It was harder for her to perch there now, with what felt like a beachball on her lap.
“You look uncomfortable,” he said with a look of concern. But she didn’t want to mess up any of the freshly set tables in the dining room.
“Do you want to come upstairs?” she suggested. She had bought two ancient overstuffed chairs at Goodwill while he was gone. Her mother had a fit when she saw them and told her to throw them away and that she’d buy her new ones, but April liked them, as she did the rest of her decrepit furniture. She said she didn’t need anything better.
Feeling somewhat hesitant, Mike followed her up the stairs, and they each sat in one of the big easy chairs and drank their tea. He had enjoyed the evening with her. And then without even knowing he would or if they were ready, he leaned over and kissed her. He had wanted to for weeks, but hadn’t dared. He got on his knees next to her and held her.
“April, I’m so sorry, I’ve been such a fool,” he whispered. He wanted to make it up to her in every way he could. He kissed her again, and she reached up to him with every ounce of her being.
“Will you sleep with me?” she asked him, and he was stunned.
“Do you want me to?” She nodded. She wanted to lie with him and feel their baby between them. She wanted him to hold her. She didn’t need anything else from him.
He kissed her again, and they slowly took their clothes off and got into her big comfortable bed. He had only been there once before, and it had changed their lives forever.
Her body looked beautiful to him when he saw it. She was as lithe and thin as she had ever been, and in the center of her was the enormous roundness of their baby. He ran his hands over her belly, and felt it kicking him again, and then he pulled her close to him, and lay with her, and in a few minutes, he was horrified to realize that he was aroused, and wanted her very badly. This time it wasn’t drink or just raw sexual desire, it was much more than that. It was love.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her long dark hair, which she had loosened from its braid so it fell over her shoulders.
“It’s okay,” she said, guiding him, and he moved away from her, terrified to hurt her. She turned and smiled at him and touched his face. “It’s okay,” she said again.
“We won’t hurt the baby?” She shook her head and smiled.
“It’s allowed.”
He was very cautious with her, but he wanted her desperately. All the love and feelings he had held back for years came pouring out of him and into her, and their lovemaking was gentle and exquisitely sensual and erotic, and in the end, they both forgot the baby and plunged into the depths of passion for each other with total abandon, and then he lay peacefully and held her.
And then suddenly in the darkness of her room, he laughed. “April, I love you, but I think we must both be crazy. We’ve made love twice in our lives. Once drunk off our asses, and the second time with you seven months pregnant. Maybe one day we’ll do it like normal people.” He was a little shocked by what they’d done, but he had loved it.
