together with Mike; just to make him realize what he?s missing. If David knew that I was in the Atlantic Bar with Mike?s arm round my waist, he would be devastated. I decide I need a bit of breathing space.
?Um, just nipping to the loo,? I say hurriedly and prise myself out of Mike?s arms. There is a long queue, which I join, and it?s only after five minutes of not moving that I realize the queue is actually people putting on makeup and doing their hair?there are two empty cubicles. Trying to look nonchalant, like I knew all along there wasn?t a queue, I go into one of them, lock the door, and sit down to gather my thoughts.
I have come for a drink, I tell myself. Mike cannot just waltz in like this and start treating me like his girlfriend. Even though I?m rather enjoying having the best-looking guy in the room all over me. When I go back to the bar I?m not going to let him put his arm round me. I?m going to be friendly but aloof. Absolutely no flirting.
Some girls come in, laughing loudly. I love listening to conversations in the loos at bars and clubs; you learn more than you could from any magazine or therapy session. Frankly, it beats ?Oprah? hands down.
The girls are talking about a guy one of them fancies and is trying to establish whether he fancies her, too. From what they are saying, I?m tempted to conclude that he probably isn?t interested.
I am about to flush the chain when I hear someone talking about a ?Mike.? It could be anyone, I know, but I hesitate anyway.
?So, d?you think she?s the one??
?What, the girl he?s with tonight? Could be. Thought she?d be thinner, but he?s certainly all over her. Don?t know what he sees in her though. And did you see how much makeup she was wearing??
?You don?t think they?re going to get married, do you?? asks one of the girls.
?Mike get married? Give me a break! Still, I bet he?d throw a great party if he did.? At this the girls laugh raucously.
I?m fixed to the spot. They are definitely talking about Mike. But how do they know about me? What has Mike been saying? And more to the point, am I really wearing too much makeup? I?m desperate to get out of the cubicle to check my reflection in the mirror, but there?s no way I can move until the girls leave the room.
They spend what seems like hours talking about other people in the bar?listening to some of the stinging comments, I feel like I?ve got away quite lightly with the makeup criticism. Finally they leave, and I unlock the cubicle door. My face is pale and with plenty of black eyeliner round my eye I resemble a Panda. Dabbing at my eyes with a tissue, I try to work out why those girls would think for a minute that Mike and I could be getting married. A week ago Mike and I hadn?t seen each other for two years; now complete strangers are talking about us spending the rest of our lives together. He must have been talking about me to people. Washing my hands, I wonder if at long last my fantasies must have come true and Mike has realized he needs me in his life. And if he does, why don?t I feel more excited? Why do I have this little thought buzzing around my head, asking whether I still need him?
I walk back to the bar, feeling slightly unsteady on my feet. Mike and Brian are talking about dance acts and clubs they have been to/played at around the world, and Tracey is giggling a lot. I am finding it hard to listen to a word they say.
?You?ve been a while, haven?t you?? asks Mike, ruffling my hair. ?Been sniffing drugs in there, have you??
He laughs and Brian winks at me. I manage a smile.
?Oh, I?m sorry, you?re far too good for that, aren?t you,? Mike continues. ?Georgie is a good woman,? he says to Brian and Tracey, as if to explain. ?I need her to keep me on the straight and narrow.?
?Fat chance!? Tracey replies and giggles again. She is really beginning to irritate me.
The conversation moves back to music. I try to join in, but my knowledge of dance music is very limited, so mostly I just smile and nod at appropriate moments. It?s such a cool life they lead, I think?all bars and clubs and interviews in style magazines. So why is it that I?m feeling tired and bored? What?s wrong with me?
After a couple of hours I decide I?ve got to go home. The music?s getting louder, Mike is getting more drunk, and I need some time to think.
?Mike, I?ve got to go now?I?m meeting some friends,? I lie. Well, I?m hardly going to say I want to get back home in time for ?Will and Grace,? am I?
He puts on his puppy-dog expression. ?What, already? But I?ve barely seen you.?
?Call me during the week,? I say and kiss him on the cheek. He turns his head so that his lips meet mine, then he grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. ?Try and stop me.?
Out in the cold night air I go over the evening?s events in my mind. The arm round the waist, the girls in the loo, the hand squeezing, the kiss. Especially the kiss. The truth is, I wanted it to last longer. Even though I was the one who pulled away, I wanted it to go on and on. My little plan to make Mike feel bad about dumping me might be backfiring slightly, and I need to be careful. I have a lovely boyfriend who adores me, and I really don?t want to hurt him.
But as I walk down the street, I can?t help my lips breaking into a little smile. Mike was doing a pretty good impression of someone who wants me back. I am maybe, just maybe, a bit of a femme fatale. After all this time of thinking I wasn?t cool or pretty enough for Mike, I suddenly feel like I?m in control, and it feels really good. Seeing Candy tomorrow is suddenly looking far more appealing. I?m going to enjoy telling this particular story.
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I?m just about to leave when the phone rings. I look at the caller ID and it?s my mother. Should I pick it up and risk being late for Candy because of an hour-long diatribe from my mother on nutrition or the joys of gardening/macrame/weekends in the Dordogne, or should I ignore it and risk her calling me on my mobile at an even worse moment? I decide to pick up.
?Darling,? she begins before I?ve even said hello. ?Tell me, are you taking iron supplements? I think you should go and get some. I?ve been listening to the radio and vegetarians are in real danger of becoming anemic. And you?ll need to take vitamin C, because it helps you absorb the iron. Now, do you want me to send you some? Let me see how much I?ve got . . .?
