Mike and my mother got along famously. He had flirted with her madly on the three occasions they had met and she had flirted right back. As I recall, I got in a bit of a huff.
GEORGIE BEAUCHAMP: She?s busy, too.
Okay, four questions done. I need another sixteen before it will be anywhere near a proper questionnaire.
Do you intend to renew your subscription to Pensions Bulletin? Yes/No
Please circle your main area of expertise: pensions; finance; HR
7.
My inspiration has gone. I reach for the phone.
?Good afternoon, David Bradley?s office.? I love that. One day I want someone to answer the phone ?Georgie Beauchamp?s office.? That would be so cool.
?Hi, it?s Georgie. Is David around??
?Hello, dear, how are you?? It?s Jane, David?s PA. ?I?m afraid David is in a meeting?would you wait for one moment, please?? I hear muffled voices as she tells him I?m on the phone.
?Hi, darling. Look, I?m a bit tied up here at the moment. Is there a chance I can give you a call back a bit later??
?Yeah, that?s fine. I just need some information on pensions, that?s all.?
?Pensions??
?Don?t worry, I?ll figure it out myself.?
?Are you okay for tonight??
Tonight? I can?t remember making any plans for tonight, and quite honestly after all that champagne, all I can think about is slipping into a nice hot bath.
I remember the e-mail. ?Oh, what, going out? Yeah, maybe. I?ve got a lot of work on, so it depends what time I get home. I?ll give you a call later.?
I can just hear people talking in hushed voices?presumably they are in David?s office.
?Okay, I?ll talk to you then,? he says. ?Bye.?
I look at my watch?it?s five to three. Unless Nigel is very late out of his meeting, I?m in big trouble.
I rack my brains for a good excuse. My computer could have crashed and lost the report, except I used that excuse last week. Maybe I could pretend that something is really badly wrong with me and everyone will be so sympathetic that Nigel won?t dare shout at me. No, can?t do that. I never lie about my health ever since I told a boy I didn?t want to go out with that I had the flu and then came down with the flu the following week. I was only sixteen at the time, but it taught me a valuable lesson: don?t tempt fate. Shit. Nigel?s going to be furious.
Suddenly I have a brain wave.
?Denise,? I hiss.
?What? Why are you whispering??
?In case Nigel comes back. You knowInvestment Analysis ??
Denise looks at me blankly.
?That magazine they produce upstairs. We did some research on it last year.?
Denise nods. Obviously the magazine has made no lasting impression on her.
?Nigel has the research file on his computer, hasn?t he??
? ?Spect so,? says Denise, uncertainly.
?And you?ve got his passwords . . .?
Nigel?s paranoia that no one can be trusted extends to us. He is convinced that everyone at Leary would like nothing better than to break into his computer and read all his stupid strategy alignment reports or whatever he has on there, and he is constantly securing his computer with streams of passwords and booby traps. Like anyone would want to break into it and read his stupid files! Apart from now, that is. Luckily our IT department got mad at him one time when they needed to access his database and couldn?t get in. So now he has to tell Denise all his passwords. But he still changes them every week.
?Oh no. Nuh-uh.? Denise turns away. ?I am not nosing around Nigel?s computer when he?s due back any minute. You?re going to have to think of something else, I?m afraid.?
?Please . . .?
It?s three minutes to three. ?Come on, Denise, you know I?d do the same for you.?
?Like I?d ever need you to.?
?You?d be saving my life . . .? I plead.
It works. Looking as if she would rather be fed to piranhas, Denise makes her way over to Nigel?s desk.
She takes out her notepad and starts typing in all his passwords. ?You know I?m not allowed to do this.?
?I know, I know, but this is a real emergency.?
?And what is it I?m looking for exactly??
?Look under research. Do a search for ?Investment Analysis.? ? Denise carefully types the words as I spell outanalysis .
