been reported to me. One of your students was observed loitering in the vicinity without a pass and is a strong suspect.
See me at the end of the afternoon homeroom.
TO: ALL TEACHERS
Please ascertain and send to me before three o'clock today the number of students in your homeroom who have not had a hot breakfast this morning. POOR NUTRITION IS FREQUENTLY THE CAUSE OF POOR MARKS.
7. And Gladly Teche # 2
Sept. 7
Dear Ellen,
I had begun a letter to you this morning but was interrupted, and now I can't find it in the flood of papers in which I am drowning.
Perhaps it's just as well; I couldn't possibly succeed in describing this place to you: the homeroom, the Assembly, the chaos of clerical work, the kids — whom I had come to guide and 'gladly teche.'
I've been here less than a day, and already I'm in hot water. A boy had 'incurred a fall' in class, and I failed to report it on the proper form. Another left the room without a pass and is suspected of stealing a wallet from a locker which wasn't locked because I had neglected to inspect it. This was Joe Ferone, the problem-boy of Calvin Coolidge, who earlier, in homeroom, had been flagrantly rude to me, and insolent, and contemptuous.
While I was writing you the other letter (Where can it be? Among the Circulars? Directives? Faculty Mimeos? Department Notices? In the right-hand desk drawer? Left-hand? In my wastebasket, perhaps?), during what was presumably my lunch period, Admiral Ass (a Mr. McHabe, who signs himself Adm. Asst.) appeared in my room with Joe Ferone.
'This boy is on probation,' he said. 'Did he show up in homeroom this morning?'
'Yes,' I said.
'Any trouble?' the Admiral asked.
There we stood, the three of us, taking each other's measure. Ferone was watching me through narrowed eyes.
'No. No trouble,' I said.
I am writing this during my free . . . oops! un-assigned period, at the end of my first day of teaching. So far, I have taught nothing — but I have learned a great deal. To wit:
We have to punch a time clock and abide by the Rules.
We must make sure our students likewise abide, and that they sign the time sheet whenever they leave or reenter a room.
We have keys but no locks (except in lavatories), blackboards but no chalk, students but no seats, teachers but no time to teach.
The library is closed to the students.
Yet I'm told that Calvin Coolidge is not unique; it's as average as a large metropolitan high school can be. There are many schools worse than this (the official phrase is 'problem-area schools for the lower socioeconomic groups') and a few better ones. Kids with an aptitude in a trade can go to vocational high schools; kids with outstanding talents in math, science, drama, dance, music, or art can attend special high schools which require entrance tests or auditions; kids with emotional problems or difficulties in learning are sent to the '600 schools.' But the great majority, the ordinary lads, find themselves in Calvin Coolidge or its reasonable facsimile. And so do the teachers.
Do you remember Rhoda, who left Lyons Hall before graduation? She is now writing advertising copy for a cosmetics firm at three times my salary. I often think of her. And of Mattie, who was in graduate school with me, and who is teaching at Willowdale Academy, holding seminars on James Joyce under the philosophic maples. And I think of you, in a far away town, walking serene in daylight from Monday to Friday, and I think I must be crazy to stay on here. And yet—there is a certain phrase we have, a kind of in-joke: 'Let it be a challenge.'
There goes the bell. Or is it only the warning signal? The bells have gone berserk. I now go to check the PM attendance in my homeroom — Admiral Ass says it prevents escapes.
P. S. Did you know that according to the Board of Education's estimate it would cost the city $8 million to reduce the size of classes 'by a single child' throughout the city?
PART II
8. From The Calvin Coolidge Clarion
Calvin Coolidge
CLARION
September
Miss Sylvia Barrett, the new English teacher, is not only everybody's choice 'Audrey Hepburn' of Calvin Coolidge but is also a very attractive young woman of whom we are so very proud. The interview found her to be 5 feet 4 inches in her stocking feet, with brown hair and blue-gray eyes and very pleasant to talk to. She received her B.A. degree with Phi Beta Kappa and Magna Cum Laude (It's Greek to us!) and her M.A. (Miss America?) with highest honors. (Boy! What a record!)
Listed among her favorites are Chaucer the poet (That's Greek to us too!) and reading books. She is also partial to painting in her spare time (Don't go up and pose for her, boys!) and bicycling (built for two?), whipped
