my birthday. Happy Birthday!
18. You Still Teaching?
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 508
TO: 304
Dear Syl—
I'm returning window-pole. Thanks.
Just now, a former student dropped in to see me. 'You still teaching?' he asked. Turns out he's making more money than you and I together, playing saxophone in a band. Flunked English, I think. His PPP wasn't so hot, either. Why didn't they give me piano lessons? Why did I ever learn to read?
It must be Indian summer that's making me so droopy—or the quiz on Hamlet I've been marking. Sample: 'Mr. Hamlet, Sr. appears to Mr. Hamlet, Jr. as a dead ghost and bids him revenge.'
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 304
TO: 508
Dear Bea— I've been wading through a pile of 'Due before 3' mimeos—but now at last I know what to do with them: into the wastebasket! I'm also hep to the jargon. I know that 'illustrative material' means magazine covers, 'enriched curriculum' means teaching 'who and whom,' and that 'All evaluation of students should be predicated upon initial goals and grade level expectations' means if a kid shows up, pass him. Right?
I'm a bit nervous about Bester's visit. He tells me he plans to 'drop in' again, and suggests that this time I do not give 'a written lesson on friendship' (!)
Would you let me know what you think of the enclosed lesson plan on book reports? I wish I'd had real training instead of a few Fed courses and six months of pupil-teaching. I feel so inadequate!
Are there any compensations?
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 508
TO: 304
Of course there are! I invite you to visit my Honors class in Shakespeare, or my Creative Writing class—you wouldn't believe you were in the same school. Actually these kids would do well on their own. To me there are greater compensations when a slow student glimpses an idea, when an apathetic or hostile kid raises a faltering hand.
Don't underestimate Bester. Behind the pedagese language is a man who knows all about teaching; you would do well to attend to what he says when he comes to observe you.
Your lesson plan is excellent—except for the Emily Dickinson line: 'There is no frigate like a book.' The sentiment is lovely, the quotation is apt—only trouble is the word 'frigate.' Just try to say it in class—and your lesson is over.
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 304
TO: 508
Dear Bea— Thanks for the tip on frigate. How about: 'There is no
In the meantime, I've been filling out follow-up slips on my Joe Ferone: Truant Officer reports there's no such address as the one he has given. Ella Freud says he never showed up for interview. Subject teachers claim he's been cutting classes. Nurse says he's on Dental Blacklist. And McHabe floods me with warnings.
But I'm not discouraged. I think the problem is not unreachable kids but unteachable teachers.
The Board of Ed has been Sir-or-Madaming me with the enclosed:
ELIGIBILITY TO QUALIFY FOR SALARY INCREMENT IN STEPS Cl, C2 AND C6 DEPENDS ON SUCH IN-SERVICE ALERTNESS COURSES AS MAY BE REQUIRED TO QUALIFY.
Please translate.
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 508
TO: 304
Dear Syl—
Looking alert won't help. If you want a raise, take a course. No coursie, no money. A First Aid course will do. You don't even have to take it — just ask the nurse to give you a paper saying you know how to apply tourniquet. Do you? Because you may need to!
As far as kids are concerned, you're on right track, but don't misjudge teachers—they're not so much unteachable as unrewarded. And even McHabe has his uses—before he came to Coolidge there was Chaos. He's trying to create order the only way he knows how. His pupil-load is 3,000 kids!
(Henrietta is looking high and low for Paul; dying to be in Faculty Show; wants him to write some lyrics for her. Do you know where he is? He looked a bit fuzzy again yesterday.)
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 304
TO: 508
Dear Bea—
I don't know where he is; he has an unassigned 1st period, but he never appears until the 2nd. Someone
