Up The Down Staircase

punches him in—right under Sadie Finch's nose. Hope she doesn't find out.

I'm treasuring her latest: 'Teachers must not punch each other out.'

Just saw Grayson scuttling through the main floor; so he does exist! Ferone was with him. What goes on?

Syl

* * *

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 508

TO: 304

124

Dear Syl—

Ferone is not the only boy in Grayson's stable. I know several who make periodic visits to the basement. What goes on could be anything: Hashish—Racing forms—Orgies. They don't appear to be any the worse for it.

Bea

* * *

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 304

TO: 508

Dear Bea—

Letters from the Board becoming more pressing. Now they want money from me. This is from Payroll Division:

DEAR SIR OR MADAM:

AN EXAMINATION OF THE PAYROLL RECORDS SHOWS THAT

YOU RECEIVED A SALARY OVERPAYMENT IN THE AMOUNT

OF $2.75 FOR LAST JUNE.

I wasn't even teaching in June, and I certainly don't have $2.75. Apparently they don't know I'm file # 443- 817 and have got me confused with another—possibly # 443-818?

Syl

* * *

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: Mrs. B. Schachter, Lobby

TO: 304

Dear #443—

The Board moves in a mysterious way. Always did. In my day—the Depression Years—they failed a brilliant girl who would have made a great teacher—on the oral exam, for something they called “lateral emission”! They almost got me on the 'sibilant S' (that was the year they were after the S's): My Waterloo was: 'He still insists he sees the ghosts.'

And a friend of mine, a Millay scholar, was failed for poor interpretation of a sonnet by Millay. Her appeal was not granted, even after Edna Millay herself wrote a letter to the Board explaining that was exactly what she had meant in her poem. My friend did establish a precedent, I believe: ever since, candidates for the English license have been given poems by very dead poets, long silent in their graves.

Now, of course, things are different: they thrust the license upon anybody who can stand up and use a board eraser.

The Aide didn't show up and I'm stuck in the lobby again. Send down some cheery news!

Bea

* * *

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 304

TO: Mrs. B. Schachter, Lobby

Dear Bea—

Cheery? I feel lost and a bit absurd—as if I were tilting at windmills which aren't there, or shouting in an empty tunnel. I keep trying to remember who I am. The Board of Ed has the same trouble.

Now they inform me that 'A teacher who has exhausted his cumulative sick leave may borrow up to 20 days of additional sick leave.'

Who's sick? I don't mind their lack of faith in my health; it's the Dear Sir or Madam I mind. How do I convince them I'm a Madam?

Syl

126

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: Mrs. B. Schachter

TO: 304

Dear Syl—

Play it cool. They'll catch on.

Bea

* * *

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 304

TO: 508

Dear Bea,

Today I must return Odyssey and Myths & Their Meaning; someone else needs crack at them. I've had only ten school days on them, in my slow class, with half of students absent or truant, and not enough books to go around, and no help from librarian— whose note is enclosed:

My dear Miss Barrett,

I am forced to cancel the library lesson you had planned for your 3rd term students in connection with their study of mythology. Sending them here six at a time creates havoc and disorder. They have already misplaced The Golden Age of Greece and have put Bullfinch on the Zoology shelf, besides 'talking. Two of your students took out books indiscriminately, that had nothing to do with the assignment. I cannot allow them the facilities of the school library until they learn the proper respect for the printed page.

Sincerely,

Charlotte Wolf, Librarian