“Maybe you’d have a daughter.”
“I can’t take the risk.” I knew I’d never be confiding in him sober. “And what if Kiyo decides he doesn’t want that-to be with someone who’s always going to be childless? What if he wants more kids? Maybe this baby…Maybe he’ll go back to Maiwenn. Maybe…maybe he’ll leave me….” I could feel tears forming in my eyes and hated myself for the weakness.
Dorian tightened his grip on my waist. “He’d be a fool. And you’d be a fool to mourn him if he did. You’re more than a childbearing vessel.”
“Not the way everyone talks. Not the way you talk.”
To my shock, Dorian spun me around. Still gripping me, he pressed his forehead to mine so that only an inch was between us. I could smell the tequila on his breath, no doubt mirroring my own.
“Eugenie, you’re a woman without equal, and no matter how much you annoy the hell out of me and no matter how much I try to get you out of my head-and believe me, both occur regularly-I can’t stay away from you. Even if you were barren, I’d take you as my consort in an instant and spend the rest of my life with you-childless, so long as it meant you’d be by my side. I would gladly bring you to my bed with no other thoughts than taking joy from your body. It would be enough.”
I swallowed. “But you’re with…I mean, what about…what about Ysabel? She can have kids….”
“Ysabel,” he said dismissively, “is nothing. A pale imitation of you-and not even a good one at that.”
That was harsh of him, but it filled me with something warm and loved and special. I realized then that no matter the bantering, sexual tension, and many schemes, Dorian really was my friend. I also realized that I wanted so badly then for him to kiss me, to crush his body against mine and run his hands along my bare skin. I wanted to have sex with him against the wall, on the bed, on the floor…it honestly didn’t matter, so long as our bodies were joined, and I could feel him in me….
Whoa. I jerked away, my heart racing, barely stopping myself from doing something I’d regret. Deciding he was my friend was one thing; jumping into bed was another. I knew it was the tequila and my worry over Kiyo causing this. I didn’t want to be with Dorian again; I couldn’t be. Even if he claimed it would be for love and pleasure, I knew it could never be that simple. There would always be politics and schemes….
And so, I did the most unsexy thing I could. I summoned Volusian.
The icy, dark presence of my minion caught even Dorian by surprise, and he took a step back. It was the Otherworldly equivalent of a cold shower. Volusian’s eyes flicked to him and then turned back to me.
“My mistress requires more intoxication,” he said.
“No.” My magical hold on him trembled ever so slightly. It was nowhere near enough for me to lose control, but the alcohol messed with my power a bit. “I wanted you to go to the Willow Land and see if there’s any news.”
“More romantic errands.”
“Just go,” I snapped, trying to sound as harsh and commanding as I could.
As soon as Volusian was gone, Dorian strode angrily to me, all traces of sensuality gone. “That was stupid, Eugenie. You shouldn’t have summoned him after drinking so much.”
I turned away from him. “I need to find out what’s going on.”
“You need to banish him. You’re going to regret keeping him someday.”
“He’s useful,” I protested. “I don’t need any lectures. You should go to Ysabel now. I don’t need any more declarations of love today.”
“Oh?” His light tone returned. “Had a few of those today?”
“Leith,” I admitted. “He came by tonight to profess his undying devotion and see if he had a chance with me.”
Dorian’s green eyes watched me carefully. “And?”
“And, of course not. I had to tell him no a few times before he finally got it.”
Dorian didn’t bother hiding his satisfaction. “You’ve broken the poor boy’s heart. And his mother’s, no doubt. There’ll be no ball now. Would you like me to throw one instead?”
“No.” My sadness was turning into irritability. “I want you to leave. Go to Ysabel and paint her or tie her up or whatever it is you do together. I’m tired and want to go to bed. Alone.”
To my surprise, Dorian didn’t protest. Much. “As you wish. If you need me, you know where I’ll be.”
“It would take a lot for me to interrupt you,” I said dryly.
Dorian gave me one of his knowing, sly smiles and then left without another word. The thought of him going to Ysabel’s bed troubled me more than I would have liked. He’d barely been gone a few minutes when Volusian returned.
“Well?” I asked. My stomach was queasy. I didn’t know what I wanted to hear.
If it was in Volusian’s nature to smile, I swear, he would have. “The servants of the Willow Land report joyfully that their queen has given birth to a daughter. All are healthy and well.”
My body went perfect still, and for a moment, I saw nothing in the room except those glowing red eyes. Finally, I snapped back to myself. “Thank you, Volusian.”
“Does my mistress require me to learn anything else about this joyous occasion?” There was a sneer in his voice.
“No. Go back to Jasmine. Now.”
He obeyed, leaving me alone. I sat on the bed for several minutes, thinking of everything and nothing. I felt numb. I felt every emotion in the world. And when I suddenly ripped the air from the room and used it to smash a vase against the wall, I couldn’t say if it was because of Dorian or Kiyo.
Chapter Sixteen
I tossed and turned that night, surprised I didn’t lapse into the alcohol-induced coma I’d kind of hoped for. I finally woke up with the sunrise and decided to leave before too many people noticed. Only a few servants were up and around, for which I was grateful. I didn’t want to see Shaya’s concerned look or listen to Dorian and Ysabel flirt over breakfast. I didn’t want to think about what the two of them had done last night-or why it bothered me so much. I was Dorian’s friend. That was enough.
Before leaving, I stuck my head downstairs in the prison. The night shift of guards was still awake and alert, and Volusian kept his emotionless watch in the cell’s corner. Jasmine was curled up in a ball, fast asleep, though I could see dried tears on her cheeks. Unguarded in sleep, she seemed very young.
I transitioned back to Tucson, bearing one of the worst hangovers of my life. Despite the fact that it was later in the morning there, my house was as still as the castle had been. Considering the way the cats and dogs watched me expectantly, I had to assume Tim hadn’t gotten up to feed them yet. I let the dogs out in the backyard and told the cats they’d have to wait. As for me, I downed two glasses of water and half a bottle of aspirin practically, before collapsing in my room. My own bed provided the comfort the castle’s couldn’t, and I slept heavily for two hours.
I felt a lot better when I got up, and a shower improved things further. The smells of French toast wafted out to me, and my tormented stomach welcomed the thought of food. I headed out to the kitchen to tell Tim to serve up a double helping and found that he wasn’t alone. A girl in her twenties sat at the table, giggling and wearing his Homeland Security T-shirt. Tim stood at the stove with the aforementioned French toast, bare-chested in sweatpants and several beaded necklaces.
“Oh, hi,” squeaked the girl.
“Eug! What are you-er, greetings of the morning, Sister Eugenie.” Tim held up his palm. “I did not realize you were home.”
I rolled my eyes, having no patience for his routine this morning. I poured myself a cup of coffee. “I hope you’ve got real maple syrup.”
He handed me over a plate of French toast, fresh off the stove. I think it had been intended for his lady friend, but he knew better. I found the maple syrup in the refrigerator, doused the toast liberally, and then headed back out to the living room without another word to either of them. A few minutes later, Tim scurried in, looking sheepish.
