down off Jack’s knee.
‘Hullo Lucasta,’ said Ace. ‘D’you remember me?’
‘Of course I do,’ said Lucasta, holding up her face to be kissed. ‘You used to tell me bedtime stories, without a book. Mummy said you might be here. Did you have a nice time in America? Did you meet Six Million Dollar Woman? D’you know what knocks down little old ladies and pinches their bread?’
‘No,’ said Ace.
‘Bionic Pigeon,’ said Lucasta. ‘Did you bring me a present?’
‘Lucasta,’ said Jack in mock horror. ‘You’re getting even more avaricious than your mother.’
‘She said I was to remind you about the school fees. Oh, look at that kitten. Isn’t it sweet?’
McGonagall was licking off the whisky and making terrible faces.
‘Aren’t you going to say hullo to Maggie?’ said Jack.
Suddenly all expression was wiped off Lucasta’s face. ‘Hullo,’ she said tonelessly, then turning to Jack, ‘Why’s she wearing a party dress? Are you going out?’
‘Of course not,’ said Jack, ignoring Maggie’s furious signals. ‘Not on your first night. Maggie’s wearing a party dress to welcome you. You haven’t met Pru either.’
‘How do you do,’ said Lucasta, sizing me up watchfully. She plainly didn’t believe in giving herself too easily. ‘Where’s Granny?’
‘Out I think,’ said Jack.
‘Is she still going out with James Copeland?’ said Lucasta. ‘Or has she got a new boyfriend? Mummy says she’s a sexy maniac.’
‘Your mother’s biased,’ said Jack. ‘Come on, let’s go downstairs and find you a Coke, or would you like something stronger?’
‘I’d like a highball.’
Jack roared with laughter. Maggie looked like a thundercloud.
Feeling absolutely played out, I lay back on the pillows, and caught Ace watching me. I gave him a beseeching look of apology. For a second he glared at me, then he grinned, his harsh face suddenly illuminated.
‘Come on, everybody out,’ he said, ‘Pru’s had enough excitement for one evening.’
‘See you tomorrow,’ said Lucasta, going towards the door, and adding to Jack, ‘If you let me stay up and watch
Chapter Ten
Next morning Ace went into Carlisle leaving strict instructions that I was to be left alone. The moment he left the house, one member of the family after another trooped in to see me.
Maggie was first, bitching about Lucasta.
‘Isn’t she a monster? Wouldn’t you like to boil her in oil? And do you know what her bloody mother did? Sent me a list of all the clothes she’d put in Lucasta’s suitcase, with a letter asking me to tick them off when Lucasta goes home, “because on the pathetic maintenance Jack pays me, I simply can’t afford to buy her any more clothes at the moment”. The bitch. Alimony is the root of all evil, I suppose.’
Her obsessive rattle against both Lucasta and Fay went on and on and on. You’re far more in hate with them than in love with Jack, I thought.
‘How’s Rose?’ I said, trying to distract her.
‘Well, she’s promised Ace she won’t have Professor Copeland in the house anymore. He doesn’t approve of her stealing Linn’s boyfriend. Probably having him in someone else’s house.’
At that moment Rose appeared in the doorway, buckling under carrier bags.
‘What
‘Oh a few little things, tights and so on,’ replied Rose airily. ‘I’ve got to have something new with all the Christmas parties coming up. Actually I bought them yesterday, and hid them in the potting shed. Couldn’t wait for Ace to go out so I could smuggle them in. I must say I shall never forgive him for being
‘Step-mother,’ said Maggie bitterly. ‘It makes a difference. I shudder to think what life would be like if I was ever dependent on Lucasta.’
‘Life’s very hard,’ said Rose, patting her curls in my mirror. ‘I thought James and Ace would get on. I expected them to have so many good talks about books.’
‘Ace says Copeland’s knowledge comes more from the beginning of books than the end,’ said Maggie.
‘Ace’s always being cynical and sarcastic,’ said Rose. ‘I expect he’s jealous of James. Oh well, if he doesn’t want to communicate with one of the keenest minds on Western Civilization, good luck to him.’
Good luck was plainly the last thing she wanted Ace to have.
‘Who said James had one of the keenest minds on Western Civilization?’ asked Maggie.
‘James did,’ said Rose simply.
‘Oh come
‘There’s a very exciting offer for garden furniture in the
‘When is it warm enough here to sit outside?’ said Maggie, as they went towards the door.
God, I felt tired. Without Ace, I was totally defenceless.
‘Hullo,’ came a voice. ‘How’s your Ammonia?’
It was Lucasta.
‘Better,’ I said. ‘I might get up and have a bath soon.’
On one arm she was wearing a fluffy puppet fox, with sleepy eyes disappearing into its fur and a long tail.
‘He’s lovely,’ I said.
‘Ace brought him back from America. He’s called Sylvia; he’s my best toy.’
‘He looks a bit like your father.’
‘Daddy’s gone to see the Burrow engineer about the new house. When he moves in, he wants me to come and live with him.’
‘That’s nice,’ I said. That would finish Maggie off altogether.
‘Can I have an apple?’ she said, making the fox select one from the fruit bowl, and eating on the side of her face to avoid her wobbly tooth.
‘I wish it would snow,’ she said, ‘Every night I pray for snow and it never comes.’
‘What else do you pray for?’
Her blue eyes narrowed. Suddenly her little face looked very hard.
‘That Maggie might go away and Daddy might marry Mummy again.’
‘Oh dear,’ I said. ‘I wouldn’t do that.’
‘I hate her,’ said Lucasta, ‘and she hates me being here. Every time Daddy takes me out she gets cross.’
After a few bites she got bored with the apple and, going to the cupboard, selected a pair of my black high heels and put them on.
‘I’m on Book Four,’ she said. ‘Shall I go and get it?’ She teetered off out of the room.
A minute later she teetered back, sat on my bed, and read the whole book through in a high sing-song voice without a single mistake.
‘That’s brilliant,’ I said in surprise. I seemed to remember Maggie saying she wasn’t very bright.
Lucasta grinned and shut the book.
‘And I can read it without the book too,’ she said and proceeded to reel the whole thing off from
