fillings for the sandwiches. She was still muttering about Berenice. I was mindlessly mixing salad cream with hard- boiled eggs when Jack came in on his way to the office.
‘Knock, knock,’ he said.
‘Who’s there?’
‘Ivan.’
‘Ivan who?’
‘Ivan ’orrible ’eadache. I haven’t actually, it’s Maggie. She’s complaining of a migraine; may be diplomatic because of Lucasta’s party — but she looks pretty rough, probably suffering from an overdose of Berenice yesterday. I’m sorry to dump all this on you. There’s still the bridge rolls, the cake, some meringues and eclairs to be collected from the village, and the conjuror’ll be here by 4.45.’
He picked up his briefcase. ‘I’ll come home soon as I’m shot of these Americans. Will you be all right?’
‘I’d rather cope with thirty children than Berenice,’ I said.
‘Send them all out for a run in the snow,’ said Jack. ‘And offer ?500 as a prize to the one who comes home last.’
A blackbird suddenly tapped its yellow beak on the frosted window, peering in at us with inquisitive bright eyes.
‘I’d stay outside if I were you,’ I said. ‘It’s much warmer out there.’
Ace came down looking even more heavy-eyed than yesterday, presumably from another night of passion.
‘How’s your bad back?’ I said sweetly.
He shot me a dirty look and went off and vented his rage on the gas board. ‘There are women and children freezing to death over here,’ I could hear him saying. ‘For Christ sake, can’t you put chains on your vans? I want someone over here immediately.’
Lucasta was delighted with her presents. Ace had given her Snoopy in a Snoopy kennel handbag from the States. Berenice gave her a flower press and spent a lot of time explaining that Lucasta mustn’t use it on Granny’s cyclamens but must wait until the summer.
‘Granny gave me a give-outcher from Harrods,’ Lucasta told me, ‘but I like the sledge, and Snoopy and your velvet cat suit best.’
I went upstairs to see Maggie. She was huddled in bed, a brimming ashtray beside her, looking terrible.
‘I’ll try and get up later,’ she said. ‘Did you know today was the first day of the rest of your life?’
‘Another of Berenice’s profundities,’ I said crossly.
‘I think it’s rather good.’
‘It’s been said before.’
‘Berenice doesn’t seem very keen on you,’ said Maggie.
‘Oh,’ I said, ‘What did she say about me?’
‘It was yesterday. I was saying you were pretty. She said your looks were rather
‘Bloody bitch,’ I said crossly. ‘What else did she say?’
But Maggie was gazing out at the white landscape. ‘Today is the first day of the rest of my life,’ she said dreamily. ‘I’m going to take a lover, the question is whose.’
I’d just finished making jellies and filling the meringues with cream, and was making a hideous hedgehog by sticking cubes of pineapple and cheese on sticks into a grapefruit half, when Berenice arrived down, looking radiantly businesslike in black wool trousers, a red shirt and her hair tied back in a red bandana.
‘Aren’t you frozen?’ I said.
‘Of course not,’ she said briskly. ‘My exercises whip up the circulation. Where’s Ivan?’ she went on, pouring out her revolting health food breakfast that looked like rat droppings in sawdust.
‘Trying out the new sledge with Lucasta.’
‘And Rose-Mary and Margaret?’
‘Still in bed,’ I said, chopping up some more pieces of cheese, and giving a bit to the dogs who were slobbering at my feet.
Berenice looked annoyed. ‘They’re not being very supportive are they? After all, Lucasta
Brushing some non-existent hairs off her trousers, she stepped over Coleridge to get some milk from the fridge.
‘Those damn dogs are moulting everywhere, and I’m sure I found a flea in our bed this morning.’
‘It’s much too cold for fleas,’ said Ace coming in at the back door with Lucasta. There were snow flakes on his hair and his moustache. He looked cold and cross like Simpkin in
Back home after picking everything up from the village, Mrs Braddock and I were spreading chopped eggs on bridge rolls, trying not to listen to Berenice giving a blow by blow account of how she made soya bean canapes. Ace was blowing up balloons. They were playing carols on the wireless. God, I thought dismally, it’ll be Christmas in a couple of weeks. How the hell was I going to survive all the festivities? My thoughts careered wildly towards Ace, kissing me under the mistletoe, handing me a present in front of the tree, and careered away again. No doubt he’d spend Christmas enjoying Berenice in some four-star Paris hotel.
Lucasta sat on the table, eating Maltesers and swinging her legs, and telling us the plot of her nativity play.
‘Then the angel Gabriel appears to Mary and announces her, and then he goes to the shepherds and says Piece of Earth, good will to all men.’
I caught Ace’s eye and giggled.
It was midday. Everyone except Berenice had been banished from the kitchen, so she could give her all to her carrot cake. Even Ace had been thrown out. She was sulking because he refused to try one of her soya bean canapes. The dogs were behaving appallingly, because no one had had time to take them for a proper walk. Mrs Braddock was trying to clean the hall floor, putting down newspapers to dry it as she went. Wordsworth sat just behind her whining querulously. Coleridge had just eaten a whole plate of sausages, and then rushed off upstairs. I found him rolling around on Ace and Berenice’s bed, wiping his face on their counterpane. Elizabeth’s photograph had been removed from the bedside, I noticed. Fifteen love to Berenice.
I went downstairs and gathered up the balloons, climbing on to the hall table to pin them in a bunch from the ceiling. Suddenly, I was overcome by dizziness, and felt myself swaying.
The next moment two hands grabbed me firmly round the hips and steadied me.
I looked down and blushed scarlet. It was Ace. He was wearing a navy blue overcoat with the velvet collar turned up, obviously just going out. My fingers were suddenly all thumbs. I took ages to tie the string. When I finished he lifted me down, and just for a second held me, frowning down at me.
‘Let me go,’ I muttered, terrified once more that I was going to cry.
‘Stop fighting,’ he said softly. ‘I’ve got enough people bitching at me today without you joining them.’
I tried to smile. ‘I’m sorry.’
He let go of me. ‘Now for Christ’s sake remember how ill you’ve been, and don’t overdo it. Lie down for a couple of hours after lunch. The man’ll be over to do the central heating any minute.’
He went towards the door.
‘I hope it isn’t too agonizing going to see them,’ I stammered. ‘I’m sure it’ll mean a lot to them. You will drive carefully, won’t you?’
‘Of course.’ He opened the door, letting in a blast of icy air.
‘By the way, I like your leg warmers,’ he said.
‘They’re my supportive hose,’ I said.
Just for a second a smile flickered across his face.
Back in the kitchen Berenice was pounding lentils with unnecessary violence, her mouth set in a hard line.
‘I am trying to remain supportive at the moment, but Ivan is being very difficult,’ she said. ‘Instead of being on the same wavelength, he’s giving off a lot of static. He was so different in the States. It’s the effect of his family of course. They’re absolutely hopeless.’
