Rivals

Taggie spent the next week dreaming of Rupert. She knew he loved and lived with Cameron, who would be back in a week or so, but she couldn’t help herself. On Thursday she watched him on television at the Party Conference making a brilliant speech saying that the Tories must get off their fat backsides and start thinking positively about unemployment and the way it directly affected hooliganism and rioting in the inner cities. Taggie, detecting Declan’s influence, felt very proud.

On Friday night a slight distraction was provided by Caitlin coming home for a long weekend, with her black hair dyed white at the front, still utterly besotted with Archie.

‘He went into the town and brought eighty cans of beer back in a taxi and smuggled them in and sold them to the other boys on the black market in order to buy me this gorgeous jersey. I haven’t taken it off since he sent it me, so please can you wash it tonight, and my black jeans so I can wear them tomorrow? Archie’s taking me out to lunch. What’s Mummy doing for the rest of the day?’

‘Rehearsing, I think,’ said Taggie.

Exactly on cue, Maud wandered in, looking radiant. ‘Hullo, darling, how’s school?’

‘Ghastly. Anyone with layered hair is being sent home, so I’m going to get mine layered on Monday.’

‘I’ve bought some apples,’ said Maud, waving a large paper bag at Taggie. ‘They’re so cheap in the market.’

And they cost nothing in the orchard, thudding on to the grass every two minutes, Taggie wanted to scream. She wanted to murder her mother sometimes.

‘That’s a nice jersey,’ said Maud, looking at Caitlin. ‘Where did you get it?’

‘It was a present,’ said Caitlin noncommittally. ‘You will wash it carefully, won’t you, Tag? How’s The Merry Widow?’ she asked her mother.

‘Oh, exhausting, but fun,’ said Maud, pouring herself a large whisky. ‘I — er — thought I might go to the cinema with some of the cast tomorrow night,’ she added casually. ‘Taggie’s cooking. Will you be all right on your own, Caitlin?’

‘Brilliant,’ beamed Caitlin. ‘Stay out as long as you like. I’ve got masses of work. Have dinner and make a night of it. I’ve got to read Antony and Cleopatra and write an essay on Streetcar Named Desire. I think it’s extraordinary that they shut us up in single-sex schools and then give us these amazingly erotic set books.’

By the time Taggie had cleared up supper and washed and ironed Caitlin’s jersey and jeans and put them in the hot cupboard it was two o’clock in the morning. Admittedly her progress had been slowed up by constantly looking out of the window to watch for Rupert’s helicopter landing on the lawn, or his car coming up the drive. But there was nothing. Perhaps he’d gone to Ireland to see Cameron after all.

It seemed she’d hardly fallen asleep when she was roused by an hysterical Caitlin. ‘That bugger Mummy used all the water, so I can’t wash my hair or have a bath, and even worse she’s gone off in my new jersey and jeans. And now I can’t wear it for Archie, and he’ll never believe I haven’t lost it, like Desdemona’s handkerchief. I hate, hate, hate her, bloody old cow, and she’s bound to split my jeans.’

‘I’ll run you into Cotchester and buy you something else,’ said Taggie. ‘I got paid in cash yesterday.’

‘It’s no good,’ screamed Caitlin. ‘I wanted Archie to see me in his jersey. I’ll kill her, I’ll absolutely kill her.’

Nothing Taggie could say would calm her down.

‘I’ll ring up Rupert and see if you can have a bath there,’ said Taggie in the end.

Throat dry, heart thumping, hands drenched in sweat and trembling, Taggie misdialled the number three times in her nervousness. When Rupert didn’t answer immediately, she nearly put the telephone down.

‘Hullo.’ He sounded irritable and very sleepy.

‘It’s Taggie.’

‘My darling.’ His voice softened.

‘I’m desperately sorry,’ she began. Then, stammering worse than ever, she explained what had happened, but didn’t mention Archie’s name. ‘Could I possibly rush Caitlin over to wash her hair and have a bath?’

‘Of course,’ said Rupert, ‘as long as we can all have it together.’

Rupert hadn’t shaved when they arrived. He was wandering around in bare feet, having obviously just put on the white shirt and the black dinner-jacket trousers he’d been wearing last night. He looked bugeyed.

‘I won’t stop,’ mumbled Taggie, desperate not to impose on him. ‘I’ll pick Caitlin up in an hour, OK?’

Rupert pulled her into the house. ‘Don’t be boring. As I’m such a notorious reprobate, you ought to stay and chaperone Caitlin.’

Caitlin promptly started raging on about Maud. ‘Bloody old cow, nicking all the water, and my seducing kit. What does she want with it? I bet she’s up to someone, the old tart. It’s high time my father came home.’

‘Caitlin,’ remonstrated Taggie, going pink. ‘Rupert hasn’t got all day. I thought you wanted to be ready by twelve. Go and have a bath.’

Grinning, Rupert took Caitlin upstairs and showed her where everything was. Taggie glanced at some photographs of Tabitha at Wembley which were lying on the kitchen table.

‘Aren’t these gorgeous?’ she said, as Rupert came back. ‘I saw a bit of it on television at Sarah Stratton’s, but I missed the final. Did her team win?’

‘No, but they came third, and she did well. Horse and Hound described her as a “chip off the old Campbell-Black”; which was nice.’

‘Marvellous,’ said Taggie. ‘Am I in your way?’ she asked as Rupert paused on his way to the fridge.

‘No, I just like standing behind you. I know you’ll spring to her defence, but your mother is an absolute disgrace. Swanning off with all Caitlin’s clothes at her age. Maud’s trouble is that she wants to have her cake and eat it, and make trifle out of it as well.’

Taggie giggled, but she said, ‘I know, but it’s such a relief that she’s happy and working again. She might even start doing it professionally, and she’s so beautiful,’ Taggie sighed. ‘It’s hardly surprising all the cast’s in love with her.’

Rupert privately deduced that Maud must be in love with one of the cast to have lost enough weight to get into Caitlin’s jeans, but merely said, ‘I’ve got a hangover. Let’s have a drink.’

‘I mustn’t,’ said Taggie, ‘or I’ll make another cock-up of cooking tonight.’

‘Don’t say you’re working again?’ said Rupert, appalled. Taggie nodded dolefully.

‘Jesus,’ said Rupert. ‘I’d better make a date with you for next October.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ stammered Taggie, hanging her head, ‘It’s n-not that I wouldn’t love to.’

‘I’ve got an idea,’ said Rupert. ‘My children are coming over this afternoon. Why don’t you come out with us for the day tomorrow, and help me entertain them?’

‘I’ll make a picnic,’ said Taggie, suddenly excited.

‘No, you won’t. For once you’re not going to cook a thing.’

With both Maud and Caitlin plundering her wardrobe, Taggie was at her wit’s end as to what to wear. Feeling desperately guilty, with the Electricity Board, the television hire firm, the village shop, and God knows who else baying to be paid, she blued, or rather greyed, Friday lunchtime’s cash wages on a pale-grey cashmere polo-neck which brought out the silver-grey in her eyes and clung to her in all the right places. There was no more money, so she’d have to wear her old black cords.

Next morning Maud whizzed off very early to yet another rehearsal. Caitlin, who nobly said she’d dogs it and read Antony and Cleopatra, hustled Taggie out of the house.

‘You look delectable. Randy Rupe won’t be able to keep his hands off you. Don’t hurry back. I’m quite OK on my own — ’ she smirked wickedly — ‘or, almost on my own. The Hon Arch will be dropping by plus tard. Or Marble Arch, as I call him, now he’s lost his suntan.’

Tabitha, amid the swirling pack of dogs, answered the door looking belligerent. She was wearing a pink sweater embroidered with blue flowers and a blue puff-ball skirt.

‘Hullo,’ said Taggie in delight. ‘I recognize you; you were on television last Saturday. You were wonderful, and what a beautiful clever pony. He was much the fastest. What’s his name?’

‘Biscuit,’ said Tabitha coldly.

‘Can I see him?’

‘He’s at my other house.’

‘Oh, what a shame. I’ve brought him some carrots.’ Taggie rummaged round in a carrier bag, ‘and I’ve made