Pygmy

Feet of this agent approach stance microphone. Tilt head back so mouth more near for catch voice. Hands wring pole so telescope microphone most low level where remain on top head of operative me. Arms folded behind. Parade rest to await barrage English word.

Illustrious instructor, finger pressed to page inside volume, lips slowly create sound of word, pronounce fragments in manner of reading child. First able reading child. Instructor say, “Pheo…chromo…cy…toma.” Cast eyes onto stage and repeat say, “Pheochromocytoma.”

For official record: Ha. Effortless facile word, simple to list alphabet. However eyes of this agent witness audience, breath locked inside waiting lungs. Audience eyes no blink, fingers twisted in cross of superstition, praying this agent fail. Cat sister plus all student craving operative me to stumble listing alphabet.

Mouth of this agent say, “P-H-E-O …”

If flounder alphabet, build of myself hero. Martyr. As Moses and Fidel Castro, to liberate fellow youth to freedom, improved lives.

Mouth of operative me say, “C-H-R-O-M-O…”

Shout single voice, male youth beyond footlight, say, “Spell it right, asswipe, and you’re a dead fucking pygmy.”

Mouth of this agent say, “C-Y…”

For official record, no impossible shouting death threat originated from renowned instructor.

Next now, sail object up from audience, dark mass emerges out stage footlights, slam down, bam-pow, hit downstage boards and slide to arrive beside feet of this agent. Sailing projectile object: English dictionary.

Mouth of operative me complete, say, “T-O-M-A.”

Dull rumble build. Stage lights, oxygen crowded pelt, raining down various object. Dictionary. Thesaurus. Thundering impact stage boards. Novel Jane Eyre. Catcher in the Rye. Song volume lyrics Junior Swing Choir.

American youth enjoying to commence riot.

Next now, siren of fire alarm begin shrill.

Dispatch Twelfth

Begins here twelfth account of operative me, agent number 67, on arrival religion propaganda distribution outlet of city XXXXXX. Outpost community XXXXXX. Date XXXXXX. For official record, devil Tony repeat in absent.

For official record, worship shrine of community offer tanning box where supine nude so become scarred beneath artificial solar body. Offer infinite variation beverage extracted dried coffee bean. Offer gallery ranked machines purpose build muscle through resistance training. Every thus, in addition forgive moral transgression of individual. By today of next week to offer feature movie rentals. Drop box of rental returns stationed beside poor box.

Plaster fake dead man bleeding red paint. Reek of burning paraffin. Stink of genitals various plant life. As prior, all male compelled bind neck in knotted banner of decadent silk fabric. Female all cover head. Seated to control bellow machine, ancient parrot, Mrs. Lilly. Lips of operative me greet, say, “Best hello to sacred animated corpse.” Say, “How decayed is glorious brain on this today?”

Responding aged parrot twist wrinkles so fashion smile, say, “Fuck off, you little foreign twerp.”

Host father mount altar so stance beside bin empty of water. Bin drained subsequent operative Magda attempted to murder drown under hands devil Tony. Water absent, and empty bin ringed around with circle yellow tapes, outlining edges of bin tapes printed English words CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION…Within walled sides of bin, to mark former level of water, sides stained in tidal mark of blood red. From position immediate beneath man bleeding paint, host father, vast breathing cow father say, “You’ll be happy to hear that Reverend Tony is recovering nicely.” Say, “The fine paramedics of our community report that he suffered something they call a ‘submucosal throat hemorrhage’ brought on by his screaming…”

Devil Tony buried bottom of water, anchored tight within clutching arms of operative Magda. Screaming sound, next then screaming bubbles, next then screaming blood.

From seated neighboring this agent, voice breathe whisper. Cat sister say, “Hey, Pygmy, want to do me a big, big favor?”

From distance across worship shrine, Magda eyeball this agent and host sister.

Whisper of cat sister say, “It’s about the Model United Nations next week.” Say, “Nobody wants to be the United States…will you?”

For official record, this agent requested to represent American nation on council floor, service on security council, create policy.

Whisper scented of solder smoke, melted lead connecting circuits sister mystery project, whisper say, “Special favor?” Host sister lift hand, fingers straight as for pledge or vote, say, “Swear, I’ll owe you, big- time.”

On condition this agent act as delegate on behalf United States will host sister be indebted. So vast appeal.

Cat sister say, “Plus, Ms. Matthews will give you extra credit in Social Studies.” Say, “Plus, we’re having a Dance of World Peace after.”

Perhaps as redeem favor, fulfill obligation, could host sister open vagina for deposit seed of operative me. Permit this agent complete task phase first, Operation Havoc. Perhaps—hope beyond all hope, dream beyond impossible—cat sister consider make ritual dance with this agent.

Continue sister say, “I’m going as Swaziland. United Nations is exactly like Halloween except more political.” Say, “My brother’s going as Ceylon. He figures since nobody knows jack about Ceylon he can just make up stuff.”

From distance across shrine, lips of Magda form words, mouth silent quote magnetic giant, appealing fascist Benito Mussolini, say, “The fate of nations is intimately bound up with their powers of reproduction.”

To cat sister, will agree…only if host sister allow this agent to accompany along during next secret foray. Apply to face of operative me black paint, apparel black, attend secret mission to venture through window during next planned escape night of today.

Cat sister say, “I don’t know…” Rotate face to one side, then other side, repeat to make head meaning “no.” Say, “It’s kinda illegal…”

From distance, breasts of operative Magda appear more volume, more round, crowding sweater. By ominous magic agent 36 breasts rapid inflated.

Quote, “The fate of nations is intimately bound up with their powers of reproduction.”

Cat sister say whisper, “You have to swear.” Say, “Swear to fall down dead if you tell.” Host sister say, “The truth is…I’m a spy”

Face of operative me fashion arced eyeballs surprised, mouth gaped open with slacked jaw. Say this agent, “No.” Whisper say, “A spy?”

Cat sister tilt face forward, tilt backward, repeat to make head meaning affirmative. Say, “Now, swear.”

Lips of operative me expectorate into palm of own hand, extend salivate hand to cat sister. This agent agree to represent American nation only if sealed hand shaking.

Waiting long now, then now, then now cat sister rest eye on pool salivate. On final now, extend own hand covered spittle. Host sister embrace, clasp entwined fingers to encase pocket of slippery warm fluid between.

Dispatch Thirteen

Begins here thirteenth account of operative me, agent number 67, on council chamber floor, Model United