“I gotta nail some footage of Ethiopia.” Say, “That little vixen is smokin’ hot!”
Distant perimeter assembly chamber, delegate vixen exchanging saliva with tongue muscle Palestine. Both nation locked mutual clutch so hands vanished within blouse and trouser of other.
Gentleman delegate Jamaica distribute cakes baked, odoriferous wealth chocolate pieces, fragments walnut and hashish.
Delegate Algiers arrive transport on person elaborate hookah crafted brass metal, reservoir water sloshing, trailing plethora octopus arms tipped brass mouthpiece. Algiers instant swarmed many delegate cramming octopus arm inserted mouth, sucking bubble through water during Algiers ignite brazier. Spiral corrupt smoke out brazier, out exhaled delegate lungs, stinking reek
Operative Magda fill breath into ear of this agent, say, “Most top priority must communicate…” Push shoulder this agent using freshly expanded party pillows, blouse bunnies, rib cushions.
Pig dog mount camera to own face, say muffled behind lens, say, “Yo, Canada!” Say, delving returned depth of crowd, pulled by camera focus into delegate mix, while vanish, say, “Jiggle me those bodacious northern hemispheres!”
Amplified voice of operative me, announce against din telephone ding, bubble hookah, flurry voice, slap hand delegate Sudan impacting face cheek delegate Jordan, eruption laughter, burst scream, this agent announce against fog cannabis smoke, say, “Present this today for discuss topics of global important.” Continue say, “Must address increase temperature atmosphere, enlarged ozone hole, decimation Amazon forest, must stem extinction giant panda, halt religion persecution, nuclear proliferation, sexual disease pandemic.”
Hemline lifted delegate appareled burka, below hemline revealed clear-yellow body hair legs. Burka flap so display paramilitary combat boot issued desert operations, male size fourteen double-E laced so girdle such dense leg fur.
Fellow delegate merely continue chatter, grope, eat hashish cake. Delegate Russia slide stealth hand within own tunic, hand emerge around bottle sloshing clear liquid vodka. Fellow delegate clamber as infant bird, all head tilted backward, teeth yawned open at roof while Russia splash vodka down each swallowing throat.
From foot of operative me, this agent extract boy of cows boot, swing boot to batter podium, heel pound lectern so microphone transmit as great sound boom. Over speakers, deafening boom. Splitting ear boom. Crashing boot heel, boom sound, boom sound, boom, until general assembly no able communicate among delegates.
Boot boom until floor assembly chamber silent.
Until Magda whisper retreat. No tug tunic.
Until voice of operative me stand alone.
As representing vast pile United States, this delegate announce apology. Announce immense regret how American nation contain merely 3.6 percent total world population, however consume 95 percent total world energy resources. Express sorrow how seven from every ten American citizen suffer morbidly obese, blind plus amputated of every arm and leg. Vent remorse over wealth American economy constructed atop backbone African slaves. Genocide native peoples. Exploitation ethnic immigrants. Subjugation female citizens and sacrifice conscripted males into slaughter of imperialist warfare.
As speaking for vast American citizens, this delegate announce motion to sanction United States. Announce this nation to immediately cease exporting degenerate mass culture. Immediately disband constituted states, from current now create result fifty petty fiefdoms. Nation of Montana. Nation of Arizona. Nation of Florida. Fifty battling insect kingdoms.
In continuing, announce to forgive all overseas debt. Additional to pay sanctions amounting to all hoarded gold money Fort Knox toward gaining affection of esteemed third-world nations. Plus to make available own cherished American children, ship overseas as lifelong chattel slaves, gesture shown of goodwill.
Floor of general assembly silent, reek only vodka, cannabis smoke. Listening ear.
Expressing much vitriol, this delegate proclaim former United States to summarily execute by slow torture —bloodletting or cooked alive atop bonfire—all existent own leaders, present and former, on every levels. From vile corrupt federal president to evil puppet maid of parking meters. All to be tortured before corpses dragged through public street and head mounted pointed pike.
Next now, panting declarations of operative me, moment required pause to draw another next inhale; at that silence, Magda interject.
Perhaps microphone adjusted too loud. Perhaps assembly so quiet. Magda voice only whisper, but explode so reverberate every corner of chamber. Magda say, “Insist hear, comrade…”
Broadcast so resonate throughout all delegate, Magda voice say, “I am big with child…”
Delegate Argentina, delegate Japan, delegate Myanmar retaining cannabis smoke locked in lung, exhaust smoke into bursting guffaw. Next now, whole entire chamber filled guffaw. Flood guffaw upon guffaw, great waves buffeting stage. Stink breath of ridicule eroding operative Magda, laughter consuming operative me.
General assembly erupt laughter roar. Conflagration laughter.
Next now, delegate appareled burka reaches hand to grip own hemline. Delegate lifts hem to reveal within: trouser leg cuffs rolled to knee, display torso, expose face of Trevor Stone-field. Reveal tucked behind buckle of waist belt: Colt DA snub-nose.38 caliber, alloy-frame version, two-inch barrel. Trevor hand gripping trigger Detective Special.
Into ear of operative me whisper Magda, quote pugnacious visionary Vladimir Lenin, heroic autocrat, say, “One man with a gun can control a hundred without one.”
Muzzle flash. Loud retort. Stench gunpowder smoke.
Same current now, head of delegate Sri Lanka explode.
Second muzzle flash, head of delegate blond cornrows Zaire explode. Next then, East Timor fez explode. Egypt turban. Feather headdress Brazil explode.
All much valued education of nations, all cultures and legacy, every event history celebrated as holiday, children of future. Contribution to civilization. State ideology, language, laws, all of these blasted. All aspiration and crimes. All opinion and prejudice. Pulverized and shattered. Concept of the deity, ethics, native aesthetic. All best ideals of nation made steaming gray meatloaf, evicted from turban or Afro or jeweled crown out exit wound.
Delegates paralyze. Delegates flee screaming. Other delegates remain laugh, belch vodka, or cough bloodshot-eye cannabis smoke.
Pig dog record pogrom through camera. Cat sister ducking fruit head, bananas, and plastic pineapple so shelter beneath delegate desk, keyboarding telephone summon police. Magda in refuge behind podium, debate if burdened with fetus able execute Leaping Hyena, Monkey Mash, or Launching Leopard,
Quote, “One man with a gun can control a hundred without one.”
During all, Trevor snub-nose remain erase fellow youths. More explode heads.
Eyes of operative me cast on cargo within Magda blouse, enlarged bosom, and this agent say, “Comrade, actual in truth impregnated?”
And Magda, agent 36, fashion mouth of half smile, wipe bread baguette to mop mustache with eye water, black ink saturate white bread. Soiled bread. During all, tilt Magda face forward then back, face forward then tilt back, repeat to make head meaning “yes…yes…yes.”
Dispatch Fourteenth
Begins here fourteenth account of operative me, agent number 67, recalling former marched parade event in celebration XXXXXX. Reviewed by supreme high commandant XXXXXX. Assembled military force combined infantry and artillery home nation XXXXXX. Occurrence parade dated back many year. For official record, repeat recounting here formative history of operative me.
For reinforce early best important training of this agent.
Depicted here vast apparatus for national defense, stretch length central boulevard, filled one curb to opposite, ranked solid many battle tanks thunder rolling steel treads. Battle tank Leopard 1A5 sourced Belgium. Tank Type 99, 96, 59 sourced People’s Republic of China. Infinite row, tread clanking stone pavement. Tank
