Pygmy

Host sister say, “It’s these sex toys they use to climax.” Say, “That’s why the batteries.”

Miniature invisible shake grow out bed, spring of mattress, floor of chamber shimmy. Tiny shake make dance yellow fabric window veil. Miniature shimmy shiver innards of operative me, tiny pulse massage weapon within trouser.

Tool knife shiver route across work surface, past host sister elbow, closer edge to drop. Next now, cat sister seize knife one now before drop to floor. Rest knife more far from edge work surface, say, “What torques me is how my mom’s generation started a revolution for equal rights and just ended up in the basement jacking off.” Say, “But I guess I could make the same complaint about my dad’s generation and the Internet…”

Beyond window glass, Magda steady as tree. Rooted. Waited.

Say, stealth calm as green tree sloth, say, “Esteemed host sister, what is labor position of respected father?”

Repeat shoulders made shrugging, cat sister say, “Something with the government. Developing new strains of some virus or something.” Eat smoke in mouth, vent burnt metal smoke out nostril.

Speech of operative me, this agent fashion worry scared, say, “Glorious father craft deadly virus?”

Craning light on work surface, throw bright bulb illuminate solder work, next now less bright. Bulb shrink from white to yellow. Dim in room layer white smoke. Next now, repeat glow bright.

Host sister eye bulb, say, “Gross, they’ve graduated from direct current to alternating.”

This agent, say, “Clarify?”

“From battery sex toys to ones that plug into outlets,” say host sister. Solder draw into pattern, link diode, transistor, transducer, mystery project, host sister say, “Build a better vibrator, Pygmy, and the world will beat a path to your door.”

Eye blink against white smoke, cat sister say, “What scares me is how the Chinese are light-years ahead of us in the sex toy race…”

Eye of operative me cast to rest against Magda, outside, ready wait vessel for seed of this agent. Mouths of this agent quote fascist tyrant, lunatic emperor Adolf Hitler, say, ‘“The day of individual happiness has passed.’”

Host sister say, “What are your folks like?” Sister hair gather behind head, braided single rope. Sister buttocks cupped in work chair, cat sister say, “I mean, what was your childhood like?” Say, “What’s it like where you come from?”

Next then, hands of operative me grip yellow fabric veil window, layer fabrics so meet in center, blocking view tree, outside, Magda. Eclipse.

Quote, “The day of individual happiness has passed.”

Next now crane light shining work surface, bulb die black. Smoke no rise white out solder iron. Solder grow cool until weld, stuck to iron. Cat sister say, “Shit.” Project hesitated. Say, “Those horny housewives…”

Chamber dim, darken, operative me say, “Clarify?”

Twins of operative me and cat sister seated inside dark, host sister say, “My guess is they’ve tripped a circuit breaker.”

And this agent say, “Revision.” Say, “Please, tell repeat nature host father security, government priority top-secret labors?” Say, “Provide more detail, please.”

Dispatch Fifth

Begins here fifth account of operative me, agent number 67 recall training session day XXXXXX. Operative preparation laboratory XXXXXX. Home nation XXXXXX. Dated back many year. For official record, recounting here formative history of operative me.

Depict here standard classroom laboratory occupy basement owning no window. Location divided long aisle between lengthy work surface, wall lined silver bins wove wire housing resident animals. White rodent. Frequent rabbit suffering experiment. Pigs of Guinea. Fellow operatives conduct to test chemical exposing animals. Location reek as baby animal fancy restaurant American shopping mall.

Baby puppy, as American title beef. Baby kitten as pork.

For official record, as rule must address chemist instructor, during enter room, unison all operative must announce: “Greetings, esteemed most revered educator.” In single unite voice must all operative say, “Accept, please, our gratitude for the wisdom you impart.” This, every today.

Specific past today, many today ago, this agent heat tincture of iodine, hovering tincture within glass beaker above flame gas burner. One hand of operative me operate beaker secure grasping tongs. One hand of this agent suspend metal saucer filled ice on top boil tincture heated within beaker, crystal iodine sublime as alcohol evaporate. Crystal form, crusted underneath side of ice saucer. Hands of operative me securing heated beaker, gas flame hiss, hand secure to suspend saucer of ice, this agent handless as laboratory go dark. Sudden, no light. From bright, many surrounded fellow operative, Tibor, Sheena, Ling, Metro, Tanek, baby animal, laboratory classroom fall blind dark.

From behind operative me wrap hands of other, cupped to cover eyes of this agent. Cupped dark.

Could be foot heel of operative me backward kick, Exploding Mule, kick-sock, to backward shatter knee of attacker. Instead, female voice say, “Comrade operative, fast profess recipe to manufacture vast explosion picric acid.” Voice of operative 36, agent Magda.

Duo hands of operative me occupied, one heated, one ice chilled, mouths of this agent say, “Recipe picric acid…” Say, “Twenty aspirin tablet, half cup pure alcohol, sulfuric acid stolen automobile battery, three teaspoon potassium nitrate…”

Cupped hands reek of zinc chloride.

Cupped hands of operative Magda release eyes of this agent. Agent 36 make small parade to stand at elbow of this agent. Magda say, “Exact correct, comrade.”

Alcohol of tincture close gone, remaining abandoned iodine crystals frosted underside of metal saucer. Soon, this agent to scrape and collect. Combine most carefully along household cleaner ammonia, generate form nitrogen tri-iodide. Will precipitate red-brown crystals. Wash crystals with alcohol. Wash repeat with ether. Producing next then among most vast explosions learned to humanity.

Peering brown eye to face of operative me, Magda say, “Important must freeze still, comrade.” Say, “No motion.” Agent 36 poke own fingertip against own face cheek, say, “This location of comrade face, dusted spot white crystals mercury fulminate…”

Very dangerous, caustic, blast when too heated, blast from any shock. Mercury fulminate. Most old, most no stable explode compound.

Operative Magda raise to point on only foot toes, ballerina poised, to lean near. Breathing of agent 36 brush cheek of operative me. Magda face imminent to contact face skin of this agent. Next then, tongue of operative Magda unfurl out mouth, tongue slippery pink, wet glow, tongue muscle wipe damp path across cheek of this agent.

Cleanse future exploding mercury fulminate.

Next now, hand of operative Magda cup near own mouth, ladylike, screen action as agent 36 salivates protective wad to encase dangerous compound. Next now, Magda expectorate wad salivate against laboratory floor, fast expelled, zip-slam into floor where spit compound impact, flash- boom, blast leaving crater on concrete.

All fellow operative eyeing. Pigs of Guinea squeal. Sand of concrete raining all agent, stink of smoke, Magda say, “Permit relax, comrade secure now.” Repeat expectorate, second salivate produce no blast.

Exhaled breath of Magda stinking sodium hydroxide. Stenched of lead acetate. Could be lips of acetic acid to create deadly chemical reaction, burst when contact sodium bicarbonate lips of this agent.

Next now, unison voice all operative, speaking single voice, say, “Greetings, esteemed most revered educator.”

Door of classroom laboratory no longer healed in wall. Door swing so display respected chemist instructor, acclaimed mentor, brilliant leader. Unite wave of voice, all operative say, “Accept, please, our gratitude for the