Austentatious

A queasy roller-coaster feeling settled in the pit of my stomach, and not from the curves and dips in the road. But I was nothing if not practical, and Sean was about as practical as my dress for the evening. Okay, bad example, but I’d already given myself the “vanity working on a weak head” lecture. Emma’s Mr. Knightley had indeed been correct: It had most certainly brought on the mischief. My mind veered into memories of that mischief once again, and by the time I emerged, I was sliding into traffic going south on Mopac.

No doubt the UT tower was glowing orange with some sort of victory for the Longhorns. I, on the contrary, was actually feeling a little defeated, like I’d been on a scavenger hunt and all the clues had led nowhere. Well, I suppose in all fairness they’d led to Sean. My trouble was, I didn’t know what to do with him—he was so far out of the realm of my reality that he might as well have been a fairy tale. Which fit right in with the rest of my life lately. I’d been imagining myself as Cinderella, so I should know that none of this could ever be real. The way things were going, I’d be lucky to get home before my car turned into a pumpkin.

As I swung onto the Fifth Street exit and navigated the snug, one-way streets on my way home, I let Sarah MacLachlan remind me that one missed step can ruin everything. I should stick with Brett. It seemed likely that this had all been merely a case of mistaken identity. The evening would have been perfectly orchestrated if Brett had been the “him” to have with cake, the man to notice my cleavage, and the target of a perfectly imagined romance. Perhaps I could nudge Fairy Jane in the right direction.

When I finally turned the car into the driveway, I was both relieved to be home and a little skittish. Once upon a time, everything here made sense. Ever since I’d—temporarily—conceded a little piece of the picture to Fairy Jane, she’d been wreaking havoc all over the place.

Stepping out of the car into a gust of frigid March wind, I could see the novelty lights lit up next door dancing in the breeze, and I could smell the wood smoke wafting over onto my side of the fence. I’d need to be quick and quiet. I wasn’t in the mood for an inquisition or a lecture tonight.

Letting the car door fall gently closed, I bumped my hip against it and heard the lock click into place. Poised on the balls of my feet, I darted up the driveway and over the dew-moist grass, up the steps to my tiny back porch, feeling the burnt orange glow of victory.

“Surely that can’t be Nic James, coming home after dark on a Saturday night.”

Two thumps sounded on the fence I shared with the Ls, and then two faces appeared over the top, grinning like goons in the near darkness.

“Ooh, she’s dressed up too. Hubba hubba.”

“Good night, ladies,” I called, clutching the edges of my scarf, closing in on the back door.

“Come over for a sec,” Leslie cajoled. “We’ve got a fire going, a bakery bag of chocolate croissants, and a thermos full of Baileys hot chocolate.”

“The karaoke machine has the night off,” Laura added. “And we have wheat germ cakes and Earl Grey too.”

Gag.

My key was literally kissing the lock, but with a heartfelt eye roll, I straightened my shoulders, adjusted the scarf so that my hands were bundled, and clopped back down the steps on my way to the side gates. If I conceded this round, maybe it’d smooth over last night’s flare-up, and at the price of a little discomfort, it was well worth it —one less grudge to contend with.

By the time I got over there, they had the purple papasan pulled up next to the fire bowl and a Pendleton blanket at the ready. I made quick use of it, swaddling myself so snugly I could barely move.

They were huddled around a laptop, a rosy coral Fiestaware platter sitting between them, golden croissants oozing chocolate sharing space with what appeared to be mini hay bales.

“What are you guys doing out here? It’s freezing!”

Leslie flashed a crocodile grin and tilted the monitor out of view. “Funny you should ask. I propose a little ‘tit for tat.’ ” Her eyebrows shot up. “You in?”

“Fine,” I conceded, relishing the shock on their faces.

“Excellent.” Leslie leaned forward to set the thermos and a cherry red mug in front of me. “We’ll go first—get it out of the way. We’re picking costumes for a friend’s fortieth birthday party. It’s going to be a masquerade.”

Pulling my arms out of their cozy cocoon, I poured the cocoa, sloshing it slightly as I shivered uncontrollably. “Any good ideas so far?” The first sip snaked a warm trail down to my stomach, and the second and third chased away the cold.

“So far we’re considering the two witches from Wicked, with me as the blonde. Laura looks better in green.”

“Okay. Just so I’m clear. You’re playing Glinda, the Good Witch?”

Laura laughed. “Typecasting is for Hollywood.”

Leslie smiled sweetly and shot us the bad finger.

“So much for method acting,” Laura teased. Leslie ignored her and finished out the list.

“Austin Powers and Dr. Evil is an option, but not my favorite. And our artsy-fartsy choice is da Vinci and the Mona Lisa. Laura can go longer without smiling, so she’d be the ‘Woman of Mystery. ’ Good start, huh?” She was clearly ready to dismiss the topic altogether.

I tried to give it some thought but soon realized my brain was too full to come up with any really great suggestions. “What about a couple of cows out on the prowl for some Longhorns? Or maybe a couple of bats? That’s very Austin, right?”

“That could be good, Les,” Laura said, visualizing costumes. “We could even jazz it up a little. Get some fake teeth and be vampire bats.”

“I’ll add it to the list,” Leslie promised, tipping the computer closed and shooting me an unreadable smile. “Okay, tit time is over. Your turn,” she announced, reaching for a croissant. Laura slid a hay bale into place, just under her fingers. Skimming its dry texture, Leslie snatched her hand back in confusion before muttering “Horrid little things” under her breath and claiming the biggest croissant on the plate.

I made wide, innocent eyes at her and asked, “What sort of tat were you hoping for?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe we’re curious as to what lured you out on a Saturday night in a skimpy dress, fuck-me heels, and some sort of fancy ... swaddling.”

“You think you’re gonna be a good witch with that mouth?” I paused for a single beat, then hurried on when it looked like Leslie might start lobbing bits of croissant. “I was at a coworker’s wedding. I went alone, came home alone.”

“Hrrmph. Figures. Did you at least flirt? Dance? Toss anyone your underwear?”

“I danced one dance and flirted a little. My underwear remains intact,” I countered.

“You danced?” By the tone of Leslie’s voice, you’d think I’d lap-danced.

I nodded, letting the irritation show on my face.

“Coworker or stranger?”

“Stranger.” This perked Leslie right up.

“Cute?” Laura chimed in, looking ready for a good campfire story.

“Very,” I confided, letting the backyard fade for a moment as I remembered.

“Geek?” Leslie’s face was clenched in preparation for bad news.

“Geeky like Jude Law.” Okay, not exactly, but the analogy worked.

Leslie donned her professor face, pursed lips and penetrating gaze. “You’re serious?”

My eyes shifted to Leslie’s laptop as an idea occurred to me. I could Google him. Surely the band had a website, maybe even a few head shots. Flicking my gaze from Leslie to Laura, it occurred to me that a little privacy might be preferable to a gossip fest, but I didn’t think I could wait. Nervous energy was building up inside me—I wanted to see if it was there, if he was there, online, real. I wanted one more look because I suspected I might not risk a second one in person.

Suddenly my mind was made up. Scooting forward in my chair, I commandeered Leslie’s laptop.

“What are you doing?” She sounded miffed, likely imagining the inquisition was over.

“Just give me a minute,” I insisted. Remembering the all-important “h,” I Googled “Loched In,” pausing for a single heart-thumping moment before tapping the Enter key.

I kept my eyes focused on the screen, vaguely aware of night sounds and the avid stares of the Ls. The search results were a mixed bag, and while there was a mention of home-buying in Scotland and even a Scottish