In the evening I had up a special bottle of port, and, Lupin being in for a wonder, we filled our glasses, and I said: ‘Lupin my boy, I have some good and unexpected news for you. Mr Perkupp has procured you an appointment!’ Lupin said: ‘Good biz!’ and we drained our glasses.
Lupin then said: ‘Fill up the glasses again, for I have some good and unexpected news for you.’ I had some slight misgivings, and so evidently had Carrie, for she said: ‘I hope we shall think it good news.’
Lupin said: ‘Oh, it’s all right!
NOVEMBER 5, SUNDAY. Carrie and I troubled about that mere boy Lupin, getting engaged to be married without consulting us or anything. After dinner he told us all about it. He said the lady’s name was Daisy Mutlar, and she was the nicest, prettiest, and most accomplished girl he ever met. He loved her the moment he saw her, and if he had to wait fifty years he would wait, and he knew she would wait for him.
Lupin further said, with much warmth, that the world was a different world to him now – it was a world worth living in. He lived with an object now, and that was to make Daisy Mutlar – Daisy Pooter, and he would guarantee she would not disgrace the family of the Pooters. Carrie here burst out crying, and threw her arms round his neck, and in doing so upset the glass of port he held in his hand all over his new light trousers.
I said I had no doubt we should like Miss Mutlar when we saw her, but Carrie said she loved her already. I thought this rather premature, but held my tongue. Daisy Mutlar was the sole topic of conversation for the remainder of the day. I asked Lupin who her people were, and he replied: ‘Oh, you know Mutlar, Williams and Watts.’ I did not know, but refrained from asking any further questions at present, for fear of irritating Lupin.
NOVEMBER 6. Lupin went with me to the office, and had a long conversation with Mr Perkupp, our principal, the result of which was that he accepted a clerkship in the firm of Job Cleanands and Co.,51 Stock and Share Brokers. Lupin told me, privately, it was an advertising firm, and he did not think much of it. I replied: ‘Beggars should not be choosers’; and I will do Lupin the justice to say he looked rather ashamed of himself.
In the evening we went round to the Cummings’, to have a few fireworks. It began to rain, and I thought it rather dull. One of my squibs would not go off, and Gowing said: ‘Hit it on your boot, boy; it will go off then.’ I gave it a few knocks on the end of my boot, and it went off with one loud explosion, and burnt my fingers rather badly. I gave the rest of the squibs to the little Cummings boy to let off.
Another unfortunate thing happened, which brought a heap of abuse on my head. Cummings fastened a large wheel set-piece on a stake in the ground by way of a grand finale. He made a great fuss about it; said it cost seven shillings. There was a little difficulty in getting it alight. At last it went off; but after a couple of slow revolutions it stopped. I had my stick with me, so I gave it a tap to send it round, and, unfortunately, it fell off the stake on to the grass. Anybody would have thought I had set the house on fire from the way in which they stormed at me. I will never join in any more firework parties. It is a ridiculous waste of time and money.
NOVEMBER 7. Lupin asked Carrie to call on Mrs Mutlar, but Carrie said she thought Mrs Mutlar ought to call on her first. I agreed with Carrie, and this led to an argument. However, the matter was settled by Carrie saying she could not find any visiting cards, and we must get some more printed, and when they were finished would be quite time enough to discuss the etiquette of calling.
NOVEMBER 8. I ordered some of our cards at Black’s, the stationers. I ordered twenty-five of each, which will last us for a good long time. In the evening, Lupin brought in Frank Mutlar, Miss Mutlar’s brother. He was rather a gawky youth, and Lupin said he was the most popular and best amateur in the club, referring to the ‘Holloway Comedians’. Lupin whispered to us that if we could only ‘draw out’ Frank a bit, he would make us roar with laughter.
At supper, young Mutlar did several amusing things. He took up a knife, and with the flat part of it played a tune on his cheek in a wonderful manner. He also gave an imitation of an old man with no teeth, smoking a big cigar. The way he kept dropping the cigar sent Carrie into fits.
In the course of conversation, Daisy’s name cropped up, and young Mutlar said he would bring his sister round to us one evening – his parents being rather old-fashioned, and not going out much. Carrie said we would get up a little special party. As young Mutlar showed no inclination to go, and it was approaching eleven o’clock, as a hint I reminded Lupin that he had to be up early tomorrow. Instead of taking the hint, Mutlar began a series of comic imitations. He went on for an hour without cessation. Poor Carrie could scarcely keep her eyes open. At last she made an excuse, and said ‘Good night’.
Mutlar then left, and I heard him and Lupin whispering in the hall something about the ‘Holloway Comedians’, and to my disgust, although it was past midnight, Lupin put on his hat and coat, and went out with his new companion.
NOVEMBER 9. My endeavours to discover who tore the sheets out of my diary still fruitless. Lupin has Daisy Mutlar on the brain, so we see little of him, except that he invariably turns up at meal times. Cummings dropped in.
NOVEMBER 10. Lupin seems to like his new berth – that’s a comfort. Daisy Mutlar the sole topic of conversation during tea. Carrie almost as full of it as Lupin. Lupin informs me, to my disgust, that he has been persuaded to take part in the forthcoming performance of the ‘Holloway Comedians’. He says he is to play Bob Britches in the farce,
NOVEMBER 11. Returned home to find the house in a most disgraceful uproar. Carrie, who appeared very frightened, was standing outside her bedroom, while Sarah was excited and crying. Mrs Birrel (the charwoman), who had evidently been drinking, was shouting at the top of her voice that she was ‘no thief, that she was a respectable woman, who had to work hard for her living, and she would smack anyone’s face who put lies into her mouth’. Lupin, whose back was towards me, did not hear me come in. He was standing between the two women, and, I regret to say, in his endeavour to act as peacemaker, he made use of rather strong language in the presence of his mother;
and I was just in time to hear him say: ‘And all this fuss about the loss of a few pages from a rotten diary that wouldn’t fetch three-halfpence a pound!’ I said, quietly: ‘Pardon me, Lupin, that is a matter of opinion; and as I am master of this house, perhaps you will allow me to take the reins.’
I ascertained that the cause of the row was, that Sarah had accused Mrs Birrell of tearing the pages out of my diary to wrap up some kitchen fat53 and leavings which she had taken out of the house last week. Mrs Birrell had slapped Sarah’s face, and said she had taken nothing out of the place, as there was ‘never no leavings to take’. I ordered Sarah back to her work, and requested Mrs Birrell to go home. When I entered the parlour Lupin was kicking his legs in the air, and roaring with laughter.
NOVEMBER 12, SUNDAY. Coming home from church Carrie and I met Lupin, Daisy Mutlar, and her brother. Daisy was introduced to us, and we walked home together, Carrie walking on with Miss Mutlar. We asked them in for a few minutes, and I had a good look at my future daughter-in-law. My heart quite sank. She is a big young woman, and I should think at least eight years older than Lupin. I did not even think her good-looking. Carrie asked her if she could come in on Wednesday next with her brother to meet a few friends. She replied that she would only
