be too pleased.
NOVEMBER 13. Carrie sent out invitations to Gowing, the Cummings, to Mr and Mrs James (of Sutton), and Mr Stillbrook. I wrote a note to Mr Franching, of Peckham. Carrie said we may as well make it a nice affair, and why not ask our principal, Mr Perkupp? I said I feared we were not quite grand enough for him. Carrie said there was ‘no offence in asking him’. I said: ‘Certainly not,’ and wrote him a letter. Carrie confessed she was a little disappointed with Daisy Mutlar’s appearance, but thought she seemed a nice girl.
NOVEMBER 14. Everybody so far has accepted for our quite grand little party for tomorrow. Mr Perkupp, in a nice letter which I shall keep,54 wrote that he was dining in Kensington, but if he could get away, he would come up to Holloway for an hour. Carrie was busy all day, making little cakes and open jam puffs and jellies. She said she felt quite nervous about her responsibilities tomorrow evening. We decided to have some light things on the table, such as sandwiches, cold chicken and ham, and some sweets, and on the sideboard a nice piece of cold beef and a Paysandu tongue for the more hungry ones to peg into if they liked.
Gowing called to know if he was to put on ‘swallow-tails’ tomorrow. Carrie said he had better dress, especially as Mr Franching was coming, and there was a possibility of Mr Perkupp also putting in an appearance.
Gowing said: ‘Oh, I only wanted to know; for I have not worn my dress-coat for some time, and I must send it to have the creases pressed out.’
After Gowing left, Lupin came in, and in his anxiety to please Daisy Mutlar, carped at and criticized the arrangements, and, in fact, disapproved of everything, including our having asked our old friend Cummings, who, he said, would look in evening-dress like a greengrocer engaged to wait, and who must not be surprised if Daisy took him for one.
I fairly lost my temper, and said: ‘Lupin, allow me to tell you Miss Daisy Mutlar is not the Queen of England. I gave you credit for more wisdom than to allow yourself to be inveigled into an engagement with a woman considerably older than yourself. I advise you to think of earning your living before entangling yourself with a wife whom you will have to support, and in all probability, her brother also, who appeared to be nothing but a loafer.’
Instead of receiving this advice in a sensible manner, Lupin jumped up and said: ‘If you insult the lady I am engaged to, you insult me. I will leave the house and never darken your doors again.’
He went out of the house, slamming the hall-door. But it was all right. He came back to supper, and we played Bezique till nearly twelve o’clock.
NOVEMBER 15. A RED- LETTER DAY. Our first important party since we have been in this house. I got home early from the City. Lupin insisted on having a hired waiter, and stood a half-dozen of champagne. I think this an unnecessary expense, but Lupin said he had had a piece of luck, having made three pounds out of a private deal in the City. I hope he won’t gamble in his new situation. The supper-room looked so nice, and Carrie truly said: ‘We need not be ashamed of its being seen by Mr Perkupp, should he honour us by coming.’
I dressed early in case people should arrive punctually at eight o’clock, and was much vexed to find my new dress-trousers much too short. Lupin, who is getting beyond his position, found fault with my wearing ordinary boots instead of dress-boots.
I replied satirically: ‘My dear son, I have lived to be above that sort of thing.’
Lupin burst out laughing, and said: ‘A man generally was above his boots.’
This may be funny, or it may
Mr Peters, the waiter, arrived in good time, and I gave him strict orders not to open another bottle of champagne until the previous one was empty. Carrie arranged for some sherry and port wine to be placed on the drawing-room sideboard, with some glasses.
By-the-by, our new enlarged and tinted photographs look very nice on the walls, especially as Carrie has arranged some Liberty silk bows on the four corners of them.
The first arrival was Gowing, who, with his usual taste, greeted me with: ‘Hulloh, Pooter, why your trousers are too short!’
I simply said: ‘Very likely, and you will find my temper “short” also.’
He said: ‘That won’t make your trousers longer, Juggins. You should get your missus to put a flounce on them.’
I wonder I waste my time entering his insulting observations in my diary.
The next arrivals were Mr and Mrs Cummings. The former said: ‘As you didn’t say anything about dress, I have come “half-dress”.’ He had on a black frock-coat and white tie. The James’, Mr Merton, and Mr Stillbrook arrived, but Lupin was restless and unbearable till his Daisy Mutlar and Frank arrived.
Carrie and I were rather startled at Daisy’s appearance. She had a bright-crimson dress on, cut very low in the neck. I do not think such a style modest. She ought to have taken a lesson from Carrie, and covered her shoulders with a little lace. Mr Nackles, Mr Sprice-Hogg and his four daughters came; so did Franching, and one or two of Lupin’s new friends, members of the ‘Holloway Comedians’. Some of these seemed rather theatrical in their manner, especially one, who was posing all the evening, and leant on our little round table and cracked it. Lupin called him ‘our Henry’, and said he was ‘our lead at the H. C.’s’, and was quite as good in that department as Frank Mutlar was as the low-comedy merchant. All this is Greek to me.
We had some music, and Lupin, who never left Daisy’s side for a moment, raved over her singing of a song, called ‘Some Day’. It seemed a pretty song, but she made such grimaces, and sang, to my mind, so out of tune, I would not have asked her to sing again; but Lupin made her sing four songs right off, one after the other.
At ten o’clock we went down to supper, and from the way Gowing and Cummings ate you would have thought they had not had a meal for a month. I told Carrie to keep something back in case Mr Perkupp should come by mere chance. Gowing annoyed me very much by filling a large tumbler of champagne, and drinking it straight off. He repeated his action, and made me fear our half-dozen of champagne would not last out. I tried to keep a bottle back, but Lupin got hold of it, and took it to the side-table with Daisy and Frank Mutlar.
We went upstairs, and the young fellows began sky-larking. Carrie put a stop to that at once. Stillbrook amused us with a song, ‘What have you done with your Cousin John?’ I did not notice that Lupin and Frank had disappeared. I asked Mr Watson, one of the Holloways, where they were, and he said: ‘It’s a case of “Oh, what a surprise!” ’
We were directed to form a circle – which we did. Watson then said: ‘I have much pleasure in introducing the celebrated Blondin Donkey.’ Frank and Lupin then bounded into the room. Lupin had whitened his face like a clown, and Frank had tied round his waist a large hearthrug. He was supposed to be the donkey, and he looked it. They indulged in a very noisy pantomime, and we were all shrieking with laughter.
I turned round suddenly, and then I saw Mr Perkupp standing half-way in the door, he having arrived without our knowing it. I beckoned to Carrie, and we went up to him at once. He would not come right into the room. I apologized for the foolery, but Mr Perkupp said: ‘Oh, it seems amusing.’ I could see he was not a bit amused.
Carrie and I took him downstairs, but the table was a wreck. There was not a glass of champagne left – not even a sandwich. Mr Perkupp said he required nothing, but would like a glass of seltzer or soda water. The last syphon was empty. Carrie said: ‘We have plenty of port wine left.’ Mr Perkupp said with a smile: ‘No, thank you. I really require nothing, but I am most pleased to see you and your husband in your own home. Good night, Mrs Pooter – you will excuse my very short stay, I know.’ I went with him to his carriage, and he said: ‘Don’t trouble to come to the office till twelve tomorrow.’
I felt despondent as I went back to the house, and I told Carrie I thought the party was a failure. Carrie said it
