At that instant she was stamped upon my mind with such strange and astonishing vividness that I still recall it with awe and wonder.
At the moment of consummation when her response and my convulsion satisfied the hunger I had not until then known how to allay, there was a perfect picture of her impressed upon my sensorium. And as our flesh mingled it was as though I fed upon her beauty and tasted the loveliness of her ankles, her thighs, her bosom, her features, her whole form-drank it in, absorbed it, lived upon it.
This then is love I reflected, as we reposed in ecstasy in each other's arms and I gazed upon her as she lay with her head resting on my shoulder and a leg still thrown across me as if to signify that she had not yet done with me.
Would it be a boy or a girl?
Would it resemble its mother? Her swimming eyes were closed, her cherry-coloured lips open, her fragrant breath fanned my cheek. Maud, who had brought me upstairs to study anatomy objectively, with a view to moulding inanimate figures, had had a subjective lesson of the most thorough nature which would doubtless result in a perfect and living study in clay.
The Apollo Belvedere or Venus! Which would it be? Could Beatrice have intended more than her words conveyed when she had issued her prohibition?
A tap at the door. Maud, who was in a light slumber, half-awaking moved and giving me a cooing caress, again slept.
Another knock; this time louder. The sun was sinking towards the west, already faintly gilding the attendant clouds with his evening greeting.
A third knock, and a voice in alarmed, hushed tones called: 'Miss Maud! Miss Maud!'
I recognised the voice. It was that of my tormentor, Elise. How I hated her. Would Maud be able to save me?
'Maud,' I said gently, putting my hand on her shoulder. 'There is Elise. Let me send her away.'
'Who-what-eh?' murmured Maud, startled. 'Elise- oh, Julian!' and overcome with love, she gave me a hug.
'Miss Maud! Miss Maud!' again cried Elise. 'Whatever are you about? Make haste and let me in at once. Mademoiselle has just returned.'
'Goodness gracious!' exclaimed Maud, startled and thoroughly awake now, and thoroughly frightened also. 'Whatever shall I do, Julian?' she asked, starting up. And then she shouted: 'All right, Elise; in one moment,' adding to me: 'Jump up, Julian; jump up and let me put myself straight.'
I had knelt up.
'Great heavens!' I exclaimed, terrified and in horror. 'Look there, Maud.'
Could I have been right after all? Her chemise and the coverlet of the bed were drenched with blood. Whatever should we do? Maud turned white, but her presence of mind did not desert her.
'Let Elise in at once; it is the only thing we can do. She will know.'
I trembled, but flew to the door and unlocked it. Elise rushed in, angry at having been kept waiting, and in a wild state of apprehension lest Mademoiselle should discover her having allowed me to go to Maud's bedroom with her.
She at once began railing at her, abusing her for her folly and carelessness. Maud was calmly arranging her hair at the glass.
Elise's eyes soon felt on the bed. She screamed as she noticed the deep carnation stains on the counterpane and flying at Maud, she shook her violently.
'Whatever have you done? Whatever have you done? You are ruined. You have ruined me. I shall lose my place; my character is gone,' she shouted, beside herself with fright. 'Mademoiselle will kill you; she will flay him alive. Fool that I was! I might have known what you were up to. She will turn me out of the house the instant she discovers this.'
And Elise flew to the bed, swept the quilt in a bundle on to the floor and kicked it underneath the valance.
'I know what you have been about. I might have guessed what would happen. You are ruined, Miss Maud; ruined! You have been prostituted by-by-that beast,' she exclaimed in a tone of deep anger, red with fury, and pointing to me with scorn and indignation.
So I was right after all.
Maud gave a little cry. The language certainly profaned our loves.
'You must not use such words, Elise,' she said. 'Be sensible; he is my cousin. What is to be done?' and, looking at me, she added: 'Never mind her, Julian.'
'Never mind me! No, I dare say not; but you will mind Mademoiselle. Your cousin, indeed. Your husband, I think. It cannot be concealed. Impossible! You will have a baby. You will,' she shrieked. 'You will be disgraced. Where will it end? Mademoiselle to save herself will throw all the blame on me. However, I will have my revenge.
'Come along, Master Julian,' rushing at me and seizing my wrists. 'Come along to my room. I will hang you up and lash you till you are insensible.'
'Oh, Maud!'
'Julian, Julian,' said the dear girl throwing her arms about me; 'no, no, she shan't take you; I will not have you cruelly used.'
'Don't interfere, Miss Maud. He must come; he must not be found here. Put on that peignoir, and come along instantly.'
I was paralysed with fright. I felt Maud was powerless.
At that moment the door opened and Mademoiselle appeared.
Elise stood speechless. Maud looked confused. I stood naked and did not know how to hide myself.
Mademoiselle had just returned from riding. She looked admirable in her riding costume which set off her superb figure to perfection. She stood holding up her habit with both hands, disclosing her dainty boots, and she looked round with an amused expression trying to take in the situation.
She gazed at Elise, at Maud, and then at me.
She was evidently in a good humour and in high spirits. She had been riding a young half-broken colt, and carried a heavy training whip-by no means the delicate little weapon she had made me acquainted with in her dressing room.
'Well, Elise,' she said at length in her calm, clear voice, 'what is Miss Julia doing here naked in Miss Maud's room? Come, I can see from your face there is something wrong; do not try to deceive me. You will not succeed and it will only be the worse for you!'.
'If you please, Mademoiselle,' began Elise, trying woefully to look as collected and unconcerned as possible, 'Miss Maud required a model for a statue and came and begged me to allow Miss Julia to go to her studio for an hour. As Miss Julia had been well disciplined I thought there could be no objection.'
'Her studio indeed; this is her bedroom. How came you to bring him in here, Maud?'
'Oh, he only came in here to undress,' replied Maud, with a readiness which astonished me, but which unfortunately did not impose on Mademoiselle.
'His undressing seems to have caused you a vast amount of confusion,' she rejoined in a dry tone, flourishing her whip. 'However, we won't waste time,' she ominously continued, gathering her skirts into her left hand: 'I will teach him that he cannot be found in a young lady's bedroom naked-absolutely naked-with impunity, and I will teach you next, Miss Maud, that you should have had more modesty. Come,' disengaging her right hand and arm. 'You are just in the condition for being flogged, and I am in the mood, too.'
'Oh, Mademoiselle-indeed-oh, pray-' cried I, frantic at the sight of the whip.
Mademoiselle's eyes flashed. Walking firmly up to the bed she directed Elise to put me across it.
'Oh, Mademoiselle, please, please,' cried Maud, throwing herself at the governess's feet and clasping and wringing her own hands, 'please do not punish Julian; it was not his fault-I brought him here-'
'Hold your tongue, Miss. You won't escape, I can promise you; now, Elise!'
Elise dragged me, struggling, to the side of the bed at which Mademoiselle was standing and tried to push me over it, face downwards. I sobbed and resisted frantically. 'Hallo!' said Mademoiselle, her attention directed to the couch. 'Where is the coverlet-and the bed is disarranged, too! However, one thing at a time.'
