Mick.
If I gave in, he would either change his mind about Benny, or he would resent me every time money could have made his life easier. I imagined him in a blue collar job, coming home with the same look in his eyes that Mick had when he returned after a night of bad luck. It would be my fault that his life wasn’t what he wanted it to be, and I couldn’t let my future be plagued with the bitterness and regret that I left behind.
“Let me go, Travis.”
After several moments he finally released my arm. I ran to the glass door, yanking it open without looking back. Everyone in the room stared at me as I walked toward the buffet, and just as I reached my destination, heads angled to see outside the windows where Travis was on his knees, palms flat on the pavement.
The sight of him on the ground made the tears I’d been holding back rush down my face. I passed the stacks of plates and trays, dashing down the hall to the bathrooms. It was bad enough that everyone had witnessed the scene between me and Travis. I couldn’t let them see me cry.
I cowered in the stall for an hour, bawling uncontrollably until I heard a tiny knock on the door.
“Abby?”
I sniffed. “What are you doing in here, Finch? You’re in the girl’s bathroom.”
“Kara saw you come in and came to the dorms to get me. Let me in,” he said in a soft voice.
I shook my head. I knew he couldn’t see me, but I couldn’t speak another word. I heard him sigh and then his palms slapped on the floor as he crawled under the stall.
“I can’t believe you’re making me do this,” he said, pulling himself under with his hands. “You’re going to be sorry you didn’t open the door, because I just crawled along that piss-covered floor and now I’m going to hug you.”
I laughed once, and then my face compressed around my smile as Finch pulled me into his arms. My knees went out from under me, and Finch carefully lowered me to the floor, pulling me into his lap.
“Ssshh,” he said, rocking me in his arms. He sighed and shook his head. “Damn, girl. What am I gonna do with you?”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
no thanks
I doodled on the front of my notebook, making squares in squares, connecting them to each other to form rudimentary three-D boxes. Ten minutes before class was to begin the classroom was still empty. Life was in the beginning stages of normal, but it still took me a few minutes to psych myself up to be around anyone other than Finch and America.
“Just because we’re not dating anymore, doesn’t mean you can’t wear the bracelet I bought you,” Parker said as he slid into the desk beside me.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you if you wanted it back.”
He smiled, leaning over to add a bow to the top of one of the boxes on the paper. “It was a gift, Abs. I don’t give gifts with conditions.”
Dr. Ballard flipped on her overhead as she took her seat at the head of the class, rummaging through papers on her cluttered desk. The room was suddenly abuzz with chatter, echoing against the large, rain spattered windows.
“I heard that you and Travis broke up a couple of weeks ago.” Parker held up a hand seeing my impatient expression. “It’s none of my business. You’ve just looked so sad, and I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, turning to a fresh page in my notebook.
“And I also wanted to apologize for my behavior before. What I said was…unkind. I was just angry and I lashed out at you. It wasn’t fair, and I’m sorry.”
“I’m not interested in dating, Parker,” I warned.
He chuckled. “I’m not trying to take advantage. We’re still friends and I want to make sure that you’re okay.”
“I’m okay.”
“Are you going home for Thanksgiving break?”
“I’m going home with America. I usually have Thanksgiving at her house.”
Parker began to speak but Dr. Ballard began her lecture. The subject of Thanksgiving made me think of my previous plans to help Travis with a turkey. I thought about what that would have been like, and I found myself worrying that they would be ordering pizza yet again. A sinking feeling came over me. I instantly pushed it from my mind, trying my best to concentrate on Dr. Ballard’s every word.
After class, my face flushed when I saw Travis jogging toward me from the parking lot. He was clean shaven again, wearing a hooded sweatshirt and his favorite red baseball cap, ducking his head away from the rain.
“I’ll see you after break, Abs,” Parker said, touching my back.
I expected an angry glare from Travis, but he didn’t seem to notice Parker as he approached. “Hey, Pidge.”
I offered an awkward smile, and he shoved his hands into the front pocket of his sweatshirt. “Shepley said you’re going with him and Mare to Wichita tomorrow.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re spending the whole break at America’s?”
I shrugged, trying to seem casual. “I’m really close with her parents.”
“What about your mom?”
“She’s a drunk, Travis. She won’t know it’s Thanksgiving.”
He was suddenly nervous, and my stomach wrenched with the possibility of a second public break-up. Thunder rolled above us and Travis looked up, squinting as the large drops fell against his face.
“I need to ask you for a favor,” he said. “C’mere.” He pulled me under the closest awning and I complied, trying to avoid another scene.
“What kind of favor?” I asked, suspicious.
“My uh….” He shifted his weight. “Dad and the guys are still expecting you on Thursday.”
“Travis!” I whined.
He looked at his feet. “You said you would come.”
“I know, but…it’s a little inappropriate now, don’t you think?”
He seemed unaffected. “You said you would come.”
“We were still together when I agreed to go home with you. You
“I
I cringed, twirling the damp strands of my hair around my finger. “They were going to come, anyway, weren’t they?”
“Not everyone. We haven’t had all of us there for Thanksgiving in years. They all made an effort to be there since I promised them a real meal. We haven’t had a woman in the kitchen since Mom died and…,”
“That’s not sexist or anything,”
He tilted his head. “That’s not what I meant, Pidge, c’mon. We all want you there. That’s all I’m sayin’.”
“You haven’t told them about us…have you?” I said in the most accusatory tone I could manage.
He fidgeted for a moment, and then shook his head. “Dad would ask why, and I’m not ready to talk to him about it. I’d never hear the end of how stupid I am. Please come, Pidge.”
“I have to put the Turkey in at six in the morning. We’d have to leave here by five….”
“Or we could stay there.”
My eyebrows shot up. “No way! It’s bad enough that I’m going to have to lie to your family and pretend we’re still together.”
“You act like I’m asking you to light yourself on fire.”
“You should have told them!”
