I took another step back.
“Cynthia controls our funding!” Jared said in a desperate tone. “She funds our surveillance, our weapons… everything. I could still protect you, but not as well. I couldn’t risk it!”
“So you’re j-just going to leave me, we’re g-going b-back to the way things were so you c-can buy more microphones and b-bullets?”
Jared sighed. “That’s not what I meant. You’re too important not to use the best means available, Nina. I thought if I figured out a way for us…I was trying to figure something out.”
“You’re j-just s-saying that to g-g-get me to go back there!”
“I wouldn’t do that,” Jared said. He lifted his coat and I took another step back. His jaws tensed. “I made a mistake! I didn’t want to hurt you! I just needed some time to fix the mess I’ve made!”
I tried to turn the corners of my mouth up into somewhat of a smile. “I th-thought you didn’t make m- mistakes.”
With a desperate expression, Jared took a step toward me, groaning when I took another step back. “Don’t make me do this, Nina. Don’t make me force you. Please get in the car!”
“I’m not going b-back there,” I sputtered.
The rain poured down Jared’s face and streamed from his chin. “I wasn’t going to take you…,” he sighed, “I want you home with me!”
I watched him for a moment, trying to read his eyes.
“I wouldn’t lie to you,” he said, reaching for me. “I want to take you home.”
I sucked in a breath and nodded. Jared wasted no time wrapping me in his coat, but it was already soaked through. He lifted me into his arms and in the next second I was in his car.
Jumping behind the wheel, Jared cranked up the heater and then rubbed my arms with both hands. “Jesus, Nina, your lips are blue.”
He raced down streets that seemed more like rivers. I had just closed my eyes when he pulled to the curb in front of the loft.
“Stay awake, Nina. Don’t go to sleep.”
Jared took the steps three at a time, unlocked his door and skipped more steps to the loft. He held me in one arm while he turned on the shower, and the steam immediately filled the room.
He lifted my stiff body into the shower and held me against him. I cried out as the water burned my icy skin. After a while, the quivering turned less violent. Once I was able to stand alone, Jared adjusted the temperature to a hotter setting.
I looked up at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do.”
Jared grimaced, his eyes glowing steel blue. “Let’s just get your temp up.”
He pulled the gauze from my hand and inspected my wound, wincing before glaring down at me. I watched as he gently scrubbed the festering cut with a washcloth.
“You should have gotten stitches for this,” he grumbled. His jaw tensed as he rinsed the soap away.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, worried that it was resentment in his eyes instead of concern.
“Everything, Nina. I leave you alone for a week and you’ve got a deep, infected cut in your hand, you nearly broke your arm when you fell off the chair, and you almost froze to death…or drowned, I’m not sure what would have happened first.”
“I know. You have every right to be mad.”
“Mad? I’ve made myself believe that when the time came, I would be better at making you happy than anyone else…and look at you. I’ve made your life worse. You’re worried I’m angry with you? You should hate me for what I’ve done.”
I ran my aching fingers through his wavy, wet hair. He closed his eyes and sighed.
“I’ve missed you,” I whispered.
His expression crumbled at my words. “I’ve been going crazy. When you found the mic, Claire had to restrain me. It’s one thing to know you’re hurting; it’s another to know I’m causing it.”
I offered a weak grin. “You’re going to have to find a new place to hide the microphone. It didn’t take me long to figure it out. I totally outsmarted you. Twice.”
“Outsmarted me? You don’t even have the sense to get in out of the rain.”
“At least I have enough sense to know that we shouldn’t be apart.”
Jared’s eyes tightened in anguish.
I leaned up and pulled his face close, pressing my lips to his cheek. The water poured over us as he pulled me to him, my light kiss making his blue eyes burn with intensity. He kissed me as if I was the air he’d gone without for five days. Neither of us held back, the agony we had experienced apart fueled every movement. Our lips parted, and he pressed me against the tile wall of the shower. I clutched the back of his shirt in each of my fists and pulled him against me, but I couldn’t get close enough. Jared’s hands gripped each side of my face as he tasted the inside of my mouth.
I reached down and pulled his shirt over his head, exposing the perfection of his bare chest. His wet shirt fell to the shower floor with a slap. I slid my hands down his back and he moaned in response. His mouth grew impatient, then, and he reached down to grab my knee. He lifted my leg and pulled me against him, and I pressed my fingers into the flesh of his back. I braced myself as the intensity in the small space soared to a new level; but his lips slowed down, became gentle, and then he pulled away from me after a few soft kisses.
“It’s been a long night, Nina. You need to rest.”
“I don’t think I can,” I said, pressing my forehead against his chest.
Jared kissed my wet hair. “Try.”
When he was satisfied that I was warm enough, he pulled me from the shower and wrapped me in a towel. I nestled against him as he carried me to his bed.
“You’re still shaking,” he frowned.
“I’m feeling much better, really,” I assured him.
The front door slammed below and Jared kissed my cheek. “Claire fixed your tire and drove your car here. She’s going to help you get into some dry clothes.”
My entire body felt like it had been sandblasted, steamrolled and smashed in a garbage truck. I was too exhausted to argue.
Jared left us, and Claire peeled off my wet clothes, sliding a long sleeve t-shirt that read NAVY over my head.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
She raised an eyebrow. “And I thought I was crazy.”
I sighed to form some sort of laugh and my eyes slowly closed and opened again.
Claire pulled a hairdryer out of a hot pink duffle bag and began to dry and brush my hair. I braced myself for her to do her best to rip my hair out, but she was very gentle; almost maternal.
The high-pitched whine of the dryer silenced, and Claire crouched in front of me. “Okay. You’re done.”
As Jared passed Claire on the stairs, he offered an appreciative smile. He was shirtless, his only article of clothing a light blue pair of pajama pants. In the shower was the first time I’d seen his bare physique, and even through my exhaustion I was impressed. Every muscle in his body sleek and toned, he kneeled in front of me holding a small white box.
“Give me your hand.”
The skin around the jagged cut was opaque and wrinkled from the long shower. Jared spread antibiotic along the fissure spanning the width of my palm, from the outside of my wrist to the bottom of my index finger. It didn’t hurt, but because of residual trembling I had a hard time holding still.
I raised my hand to inspect it and Jared rolled his eyes. “Is it okay?”
“Nicely done,” I nodded in approval.
I leaned against the pillow while Jared walked to the other side of the bed. When he crawled in beside me, it occurred to me that my heart should have been pounding out of my chest, but I only felt exhaustion.
Jared pulled me to him and folded his arms around me. I sighed as I relaxed against his chest; he was warmer than the shower. I was still cold enough that his skin was slightly painful against mine, but I leaned in closer, welcoming the burn.
“Promise me you won’t do anything like that again,” Jared whispered, kissing my forehead.
