I buried my face into the concave of his neck and shivered. In reaction, Jared wrapped his arms tighter around me.
Chapter Nine
Healing
“Nina?”
I raised my eyebrows, but my eyes wouldn’t open.
Jared brushed the hair away from my face and kissed the exposed patch of skin on my cheek.
I blinked to focus, and Jared’s blurry form came into view.
“It’s six thirty, sweetheart. You have an eight o’clock class.”
I sat up, immediately grabbing Jared’s arm. “Whoa.”
“Dizzy?” he asked.
“As if you didn’t know.”
He smiled, leaving my side to grab a stack of folded clothes and place them on the end of the bed. “Claire brought some more of your things.”
With my eyes half-closed, I stood up and stretched, and then inched up the hem of my shirt to change.
“Er…Nina?” Jared said, grabbing my hands. “I’ve always thought you were the most beautiful in the morning. Seeing you standing here in my t-shirt is nearly driving me mad. Would you please stop trying to send me over the edge?”
I grimaced at his infuriating insistence on putting off the inevitable. I’d always been the one to procrastinate when dealing with the intimacy issue. Now that I’d felt strong enough about someone to want to press the boundaries, he insisted on dragging his feet.
Sensing my aggravation, he kissed my nose and jogged down the stairs, allowing me the privacy to change.
“I’ll drive you to school, if that’s okay,” Jared said after breakfast.
“That would be great. Thank you.”
The roads were slick with ice, and the trees and grass were frozen in time under the inch-thick frost. Jared effortlessly navigated the Escalade to Brown’s campus, keeping my hand in his until we pulled into the parking lot.
“I’ll meet you here, then?”
“Er…yeah?” I said, caught off guard.
“I thought it would be best if you stayed with me for a few days,” he shrugged, “until your hand heals. You’ll need a fresh dressing every night.”
I pressed my lips together, trying not to let myself get too excited. I didn’t want to tip him off.
“Or not…I can call you later,” he backpedaled.
I slid my arms around his middle. “I would love for you to pick me up.”
Jared’s eyes relaxed. “I will be right here, one-thirty.”
Initially, the excitement of staying with Jared propelled me through the first half-hour of class, but as the hour wore on I had a hard time concentrating. Doubt seeped into my every thought, and I found myself watching the clock, anxiously counting down the minutes.
He had left me on a day much like this one, including the perfect morning of smiles and kisses goodbye. Victory suddenly seemed too easy, and I felt sick with worry that he had appeased me long enough to disappear again.
Beth and Kim met me outside, eager to hear the story behind my bandaged hand. The prospect of enduring lunch and another class added to the stress of constructing a detailed lie of the night before had me nearly in tears. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I would go to meet him at the designated time and he wouldn’t be there.
Beth noticed my mood immediately. “What’s wrong, Nina?”
“Nothing. Why?” I asked, trying to keep my tone light. It was hard to seem casual when my chest felt full of concrete.
“Nina?”
I let out a sigh of relief. “Jared!” I said, grabbing onto his coat and hugging him. I was too relieved to care how ridiculous I looked.
He wrapped his arms around me without hesitation. “What is it?” he whispered into my ear.
“What’s going on with you, Nigh?” Kim asked.
I buried my face in Jared’s chest, and I was glad when he hugged me tighter.
“Nina,” he whispered in my ear again. “Did something happen?”
I peeked over to Beth and Kim, who watched me with confused frowns. I tried to smooth my face before looking at them. “I’ll meet you guys at The Ratty, okay?”
“Are you sure?” Beth asked, staring suspiciously at Jared.
“I’ll be right there,” I smiled.
My friends reluctantly left me behind, and I buried my face in Jared’s chest once again, tightening my arms around him.
“Nina, please tell me,” he pleaded. “You’ve been freaking out all morning.”
“I’m sorry.”
He pulled up my chin and scanned my face for a clue. He sighed in frustration when I didn’t speak. “Nina, I need to know.”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t come.” I looked down to my boots; I couldn’t look him in the eye while sounding so pathetic.
Jared took my face in his hands and kissed me tenderly. “I will never leave you again. Not like that.”
“Not like what?” I asked, concerned there might be more behind his words.
“I won’t make that mistake again. I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me.”
“You promise?”
Jared smiled. “I love you more than I could ever promise.”
I rested my cheek against his chest and closed my eyes, indescribably happy. The euphoria faded when I realized I would have to make it through lunch and another class before I would see him again.
“Nina?”
“I’m never going to get used to that, you know,” I said, frowning.
“Get used to what?”
“You sensing how I’m feeling. It’s….” I trailed off, wrinkling my nose.
Jared chuckled. “Weird?”
I looked at him sheepishly and shrugged. “Why don’t you come to lunch with me?”
“Here?”
“You can’t go to class with me, but you can come to lunch. It would help.”
“Help with what?” he asked, still stumped.
“With the….” I hesitated. Being honest meant casting blame in his direction, which I had no desire to do.
“Anxiety,” Jared finished for me. As I predicted, he was visibly upset that I felt that way.
“I don’t mean that it’s your fault, I just meant….”
He held out his hand. “Come on.”
I felt the corners of my mouth turn up, and I let his warm hand surround mine as we walked into The Ratty. Every face at the table seating my friends seemed to look over at us in unison as we walked to the buffet.
“They’re just curious.” I said as we walked through the line. Jared simply nodded.
“Everything all right, Nigh?” Beth asked once we were seated.
“Everything is great,” I said.
“You didn’t look so great when we left you,” Kim said. Her eyes narrowed in Jared’s direction for a moment, and then returned back to me.
