our bodies. From that instant, dear friend, I have been a devotee of the nude, going about without the slightest covering, and, whenever possible, teaching the idea to others. I have appeared among many intimate friends in a perfectly naked condition. I have attended a naked ball with some five hundred persons, and I have spent days on end in the garden of a friend of mine in London without the slightest trace of covering. There were at least thirty women there who delighted in going about naked; but all this and much more I shall relate in good time.
Arm in arm we wandered to the pond where we enjoyed a pleasant hour splashing about in the water. Drying off in the sun was another favorite sport with us-but we had to return to the house; there was no way of knowing just when Mother and Father would return. Above all, we didn't want them to catch us in that scandalous condition.
It was fortunate, perhaps, that we were tied down with studies and obligations to a certain extent, or there is no telling just what might have happened to us. For Vera became like one possessed. Returning to the house, she hurried me to her room. Producing the dildo and filling it with warm milk, she made me fuck her again and again.
I begged her to try it on me. I wanted to be penetrated with the wicked thing, but she wouldn't do it. She did put it on herself and touch me with the tip end. Here I learned she spoke the truth regarding the pain necessary to a penetration.
There is little more to tell, my dear-at least nothing you have not already heard. To retell it would be but a repetition of what I have already related. And so I shall skip over the vast number of things that happened between Vera and me and give you a recital of the more interesting and strange things that awaited me. Enough to say that I was still a virgin-in flesh, if not in mind-when Vera and I parted. And you may rest assured that our parting was amid tears. We swore to remain true to each other, but I soon found plenty of temptation which caused me to quite forget my first real love.
CHAPTER III
After something like a year-and-a-half, my voice had developed to a point where neither Vera nor my Sunday school teacher could have been of any assistance to me. Indeed, I had quite passed beyond both, and if I were to do anything about it at all, it would be necessary to go somewhere where I might gain the necessary finishing touches.
It had been arranged that I would go to Austria, where I would finish my musical education. Vienna being the popular place at that time, I was sent there. I was heartbroken when it came time to leave my parents and Vera, but I soon got over it, and I might add here that it was the only time in my whole life when I really felt bad about anything. I thought, too, that it would be dreadful to be cast among strangers in such a far off country. But to my surprise, I found it delightful.
Many other girls and young men were there, all studying voice. They were unusually nice to me, as were the aged instructors. One in particular was wonderfully patient with me.
Knowing that I had never been away from home before, he was sympathetic and anxious to make me comfortable. I spent a week in his home where both he and his delightful wife did everything possible to make my stay a pleasure.
But, unfortunately, they were Puritans. Can you imagine me being with Puritans. Can you imagine me being puritanical, my friend? Me, above anyone?
Fortunately I wasn't to be under their jurisdiction all the time. I saw many things during the study hours that quite awakened me. At home, I had heard of almost every kind of love. In Vienna, I was to see it.
You remember that at the time I went there, there was a governor in charge who certainly must have believed in “free love.” Besides being rather lax in the enforcement of civil laws, he was really a despoiler, a vulgarian. His court reeked with scandal. It was common gossip that he abused his wife and kept a dozen whores in constant attendance. This influence spread. His subjects, copying him, did likewise.
The theaters were nothing more than brothels where the most indecorous practices were indulged. Men and women alike wandered unhindered backstage, and the most brazen flirtations were carried on. All of this, of course, I missed; I only mention it here to convey to you the deplorable condition of Vienna at that time.
The school was housed in an old converted castle, and here every passionate thought was expressed, though, of course, in a more guarded manner. But there were any number of things that couldn't very well be hid, and through it all, I found myself in a most unusual frame of mind. Chief among other things, I found myself wanting a male companion. I saw dozens of girls who made no effort to hide the fact that they had lovers. Indeed, some three or four different ones even went so far as to suggest fixing me up with some friend they had, or knew. But Vera had poisoned my mind with thoughts of possessing a handsome man, one who was sympathetic and understood real love.
My real objection was the danger involved. I had never forgotten Vera's experience; how, after allowing her professor friend to fuck her a few times, she had to spend days in bed while a doctor relieved her of the “aftereffects.” I didn't want any of that.
But that in no way diminished my desire for a lover. No, indeed. I longed for it, yet I dared not make my desires known.
It had been arranged that I was to maintain a small cottage during my stay in Vienna, and about a week after my arrival, I was successful in getting one that suited my needs. Also, I was supplied with a very pretty and charming maid, and while she was unusually smart and quite happy in her new environment, she was not for me-at least not in the manner I preferred!
I had been at the school not quite a month when my professor suggested to me that I have what he termed “a tryout” with a local booking agent he seemed to be well acquainted with. The very next day he took me there. This agent happened to be a Spaniard, and though I had never taken kindly to Spaniards, this one proved to be most unusual in many ways. To begin with, he seemed quite taken with me. He told me frankly that I had a very wonderful voice and encouraged me to accept a place with a small opera company operating under his supervision. It wouldn't, he said, amount to very much of anything, but it would give me the “atmosphere” I needed, as well as get me used to appearing before an audience.
Naturally I accepted this generous offer, and the following day I was interviewed by the manager of the opera company. I had a most interesting talk with him, and then, quite without warning, he said, “Now, my dear, let me see your legs.'
And though he said this in a very matter-of-fact manner, I was somewhat taken aback with the suddenness of it. Seeing my cheeks turn a flaming red, he added, “Have no fear, my dear-to me legs are something to hold up the body, nothing more.'
He then explained to me that, besides a voice, I must possess very pretty and shapely legs, since the costumes I would have to wear would be rather revealing. Thus reassured, I got over my timidness and brazenly lifted my dress. But I quite overdid it. Catching sight of my reflection in a large mirror, I discovered my dress was high enough to display not only my legs, but a considerable portion of my hips and belly. This, coupled with the fact that I was wearing only the briefest possible drawers, gave him a view of everything he might have cared to look at.
But it so happened, he cared only to view my form for exactly the reason he had said. He never so much as placed his hand on me, nor did he make the slightest suggestive remark. He only told me, quite frankly, that I had the most beautiful legs, hips, and buttocks he had ever gazed upon. The whole affair ended by my being engaged to perform with his company.
I was so happy I burst into tears. My rise so far had been sudden, and my good fortune quite overcame me. The old gentleman allowed me to have my cry, and when I had recovered, he told to report for rehearsal the following morning.
That night I wrote mother telling her of my good fortune, and I'm sure she found traces of my tears on the pages.
Somehow it never occurred to me to investigate the type of theatrical company I was joining, and I didn't discover its true nature until the following day when I reported for my first rehearsal. As you might already have guessed, I wasn't left long in doubt.
