The gardens stretched away for some distance, blending imperceptibly with wild ground beyond.
We alighted with the other people and went in through a doorway. We passed through a bare hall and went into a large reception area at the side.
Unlike the other people I was carrying my luggage: the holdall, which I slung over my shoulder. My five fellow passengers were now subdued, for the first time since I had noticed them, apparently overawed by the fact that they had finally entered the very building where they would be made to live forever.
Seri and I hung back from the rest, near the door.
The young woman who had met us at the harbour went behind a desk placed to one side.
'I need to verify your identities,' she said. 'Your local Lotterie office has given you a coded admission form, and if you would now give this to me I will assign you your chalets. Your personal counsellor will meet you there.'
A minor upheaval followed, as the other passengers had left their forms in their baggage, and had to retrieve them. I wondered why the girl had not said anything on the bus; and I noticed the bored, sour expression she wore.
I took the opportunity to go forward first and identify nwself. My admission form was in one of the pouches on the side of my bag, and I laid it on the desk in front of her.
'I'm Peter Sinclair,' I said.
She said nothing, but ticked my name off the list she had compiled on the bus, then punched the code number on my form into a keyboard in front of her. Silently, and invisibly to me, a readout must have appeared on the screen facing her. There were some thin metal bracelets on the desk, and she passed one of them through a recessed channel in the surface of the desk, presumably encoding it magnetically, then held it towards me.
'Attach this to your right wrist, Mr Sinclair. You will be in Chalet 24, and one of the attendants will show you how to find it. Your treatment will commence tomorrow morning.'
I said: 'I haven't finally decided yet. Whether or not to take the treatment, I mean.'
She glanced up at me then, but her expression remained cold.
'Have you read the information in our brochure?'
'Yes, but I'm still not sure. I'd like to find out more about it.'
'Your counsellor will visit you. It's quite usual for people to be nervous.'
'It's not that I'm--' I was aware of Seri standing close behind me, listening to this. 'I just want to ask a few questions.'
'Your counsellor will tell you anything you wish to know.'
I took the bracelet, feeling my antipathy harden. I could feel the momentum of my win, my travels, my arrival and induction here, taking me ineluctably on towards the treatment, my reservations cast aside. I still lacked the strength to back out, to reject this chance of living. I had an irrational fear of this counsellor, visiting me in the morning, uttering soothing platitudes and propelling me on towards the operating table and the knife, saving my life against my will.
Some of the other people were now returning, their admission forms clasped like passports.
'But if I decide against it,' I said. 'If I change my mind . . . is there any reason why I shouldn't?'
'You are committed to nothing, Mr Sinclair. Your being here does not imply consent. Until you sign the release form, you may leave at any time.'
'All right,' I said, conscious of the small group of elderly optimists assembling behind me. 'But there's something else. I've got my girlfriend with me. I want her to stay with me in the chalet.'
Her eyes turned briefly towards Seri. 'Does she understand that the treatment is for you alone?'
Seri exhaled breath sharply. I said: 'She's not a child.'
'I'll wait outside, Peter,' Seri said, and went out into the sunlight.
'We can't allow misunderstandings,' the girl said. 'She can stay tonight, but tomorrow she will have to find accommodation in the town. You will only be in the chalet for one or two nights.'
'That suits me fine,' I said, wondering if there was still a chance _Mulligayn_ was in the harbour. I turned my back on her and went outside to find Seri.
An hour later Seri had calmed me doxvn, and we were installed in Chalet 24. That evening, before going to bed, Seri and I walked in the darkness through the gardens. Lights were on in the main building, but most of the chalets were dark. We walked as far as the main gate, where we found that two men with dogs were on guard.
As we walked back, I said: 'It's like a prison camp. They've overlooked the barbed wire and watchtowers. Perhaps someone should remind them.'
'I had no idea it was like this,' Seri said.
'I had to go into hospital when I was a child. What I didn't like about that, even then, was the way they treated me. It was as if I didn't exist, except as a body with symptoms. And this place is the same. I really resent that bracelet.'
'Are you wearing it?'
'Not at the moment.' We were following a path through the fiowerbeds, but the further we moved from the lights of the main building the more difficult it was to see, A patch of open ground was on our right, so we sat down, discovering that it was a lawn. 'I'm going to leave. First thing in the morning. Will you understand if I do?'
Seri was silent for a while, then said: 'I still think you should go through with it.'
'In spite of all this?'
'It's just a sort of hospital. They've got the institutionalized mind, that's all.'
