'Fat and clumsy and sluggish,' Stella finished.
'And stupid and bitchy.' She pushed back her damp bangs, thought about whacking them off. Thought about whacking all her hair off. 'And hot and nasty.'
When Stella reached over, bumped up the air-conditioning, Hayley's eyes began to sting with remorse
and misery. 'You're being so sweet to me—everyone is— and I don't even appreciate it. And Ijust feel like I've been pregnant my whole life and I'm going to stay pregnant forever.'
'I can promise you won't.'
'And I... Stella, when they showed that video at birthing class and we watched that woman go through
it? I don't see how I can do that. I just don't think I can.'
'I'll be there with you. You'll be just fine, Hayley. I'm not going to tell you it won't be hard, but it's
going to be exciting, too. Thrilling.'
She turned into the drive. And there were her boys, racing around the yard with the dog and Harper in what seemed to be a very informal game of Wiffle ball.
'And so worth it,' she told her. 'The minute you hold your baby in your arms, you'll know.'
'I just can't imagine being a mama. Before, I could, but now that it's getting closer, I just can't.'
'Of course you can't. Nobody can really imagine a miracle. You're allowed to be nervous. You're supposed to be.'
'Then I'm doing a good job.'
When she parked, the boys ran over. 'Mom, Mom! We're playing Wiffle Olympics, and I hit the ball a
'A million?' She widened her eyes at Luke as she climbed out. 'That must be a record.'
'Come on and play, Mom.' Gavin grabbed her hand as Parker leaped up to paw at her legs. 'Please!'
'All right, but I don't think I can hit the ball a million times.'
Harper skirted the car to get to Hayley's side. His hair curled damply from under his ball cap, and his
shirt showed stains from grass and dirt. 'Need some help?'
She couldn't get her feet back in her shoes. They felt hot and swollen and no longer hers. Cranky tears flooded her throat. 'I'm pregnant,' she snapped, 'not handicapped.'
She left her shoes on the mat as she struggled out. Before she could stop herself, she slapped at Harper's offered hand. 'Just leave me be, will you?'
'Sorry.' He stuffed his hands in his pockets.
'I can't breathe with everybody hovering around me night and day.' She marched toward the house, trying hard not to waddle.
'She's just tired, Harper.' Whether it was hovering or not, Stella watched Hayley until she'd gotten
inside. 'Tired and out of sorts. It's just being pregnant.'
'Maybe she shouldn't be working right now.'
'If I suggested that, she'd explode. Working keeps her mind busy. We're all keeping an eye on her to make sure she doesn't overdo, which is part of the problem. She feels a little surrounded, I imagine.'
'Mom!'
She held up a hand to her impatient boys. 'She'd have snapped at anybody who offered her a hand just then. It wasn't personal.'
'Sure. Well, I've got to go clean up.' He turned back to the boys, who were already squabbling over
the plastic bat. 'Later. And next time I'm taking you both down.'
* * *
The afternoon was sultry, a sly hint of the summer that waited just around the corner. Even with the air- conditioning, Stella sweltered in her little office. As a surrender to the weather, she wore a tank top and thin cotton pants. She'd given up on her hair and had bundled it as best she could on top of her head.
She'd just finished outlining the next week's work schedule and was about to update one of her spreadsheets when someone knocked on her door.
'Come in.' Automatically, she reached for the thermos of iced coffee she'd begun to make every morning. And her heart gave a little jolt when Logan stepped in. 'Hi. I thought you were on the
Fields job today.'
'Got rained out.'
'Oh?' She swiveled around to her tiny window, saw the sheets of rain. 'I didn't realize.'
'All those numbers and columns can be pretty absorbing.'
'To some of us.'
'It's a good day to play hookey. Why don't you come out and play in the rain, Red?'
'Can't.' She spread her arms to encompass her desk. 'Work.'
He sat on the corner of it. 'Been a busy spring so far. I don't figure Roz would blink if you took a
couple hours off on a rainy afternoon.'
'Probably not. But I would.'
'Figured that, too.' He picked up an oddly shaped and obviously child-made pencil holder, examined it. 'Gavin or Luke?'
'Gavin, age seven.'
'You avoiding me, Stella?'
'No. A little,' she admitted. 'But not entirely. We've been swamped, here and at home. Hayley's only
got three weeks to go, and I like to stick close.'
'Do you think you could manage a couple of hours away, say, Friday night? Take in a movie?'
'Well, Friday nights I usually try to take the kids out.'
'Good. The new Disney flick's playing. I can pick y'all up at six. We'll go for pizza first.'
'Oh, I...' She sat back, frowned at him. 'That was sneaky.'
'Whatever works.'
'Logan, have you ever been to the movies with a couple of kids on a Friday night?'
'Nope.' He pushed off the desk and grinned. 'Should be an experience.'
He came around the desk and, cupping his hands under her elbows, lifted her straight out of the chair
with a careless strength that had her mouth watering. 'I've started to miss you.'
He touched his mouth to hers, heating up the contact as he let her slide down his body until her feet hit the floor. Her arms lifted to link around his neck, banding there for a moment until her brain engaged again.
'It looks like I've started to miss you, too,' she said as she stepped back. 'I've been thinking.'
'I just bet you have. You keep on doing that.' He tugged at a loose lock of her hair. 'See you Friday.'
She sat down again when he walked out. 'But I have trouble remembering what I'm thinking.'
* * *
He was right. It was an experience. One he handled, in Stella's opinion, better than she'd expected. He didn't appear to have a problem with boy-speak. In fact, during the pizza interlude she got the feeling
she was odd man out. Normally she could hold her own in intense discussions of comic books and baseball, but this one headed to another level.
At one point she wasn't entirely sure the X-Men's Wolverine hadn't signed on to play third base for the Atlanta Braves.
'I can eat fifty pieces of pizza,' Luke announced as the pie was divvied up. 'And after, five gallons of popcorn.'
'Then you'll puke!'
She started to remind Gavin that puke wasn't proper meal conversation, but Logan just plopped a slice
on his own plate. 'Be smarter to puke after the pizza to make room for the popcorn.'
The wisdom and hilarity of this sent the boys off into delighted gagging noises.
'Hey!' Luke's face went mutinous. 'Gavin has more pepperoni on his piece. I have two and he has three!'
As Gavin snorted and set his face into the look, Logan nodded. 'You know, you're right. Doesn't seem fair. Let's just fix that.' He plucked a round of pepperoni off Gavin's piece and popped it into his own mouth. 'Now you're even.'
More hilarity ensued. The boys ate like stevedores, made an unholy mess, and were so overstimulated
by the time they got to the theater, she expected them to start a riot.
