Chapter 14
At the Tech there was no question of killing the fatted calf, at least not for Henry Wilt. The imminence of the CNAA visitation on Friday, coinciding as it apparently would with the resurrection of the late Mrs Wilt, was causing something approaching panic. The Course Board met in almost continuous session and memoranda circulated so furiously that it was impossible to read one before the next arrived.
‘Can’t we postpone the visit?’ Dr Cox asked. ‘I can’t have them in my office discussing bibliographies with bits of Mrs Wilt being dug out of the ground outside the window.’
‘I have asked the police to make themselves as inconspicuous as possible,’ said Dr Mayfield.
‘With conspicuous lack of success so far,’ said Dr Board.’
‘They couldn’t be more in evidence. There are ten of them peering down that hole at this very moment.’
The Vice-Principal struck a brighter note. ‘You’ll be glad to hear that we’ve managed to restore power to the canteen,’ he told the meeting, ’so we should be able to lay on a good lunch.’
‘I just hope I feel up to eating.’ said Dr Cox. ‘The shocks of the last few days have done nothing to improve my appetite and when I think of poor Mrs Wilt…’
‘Try not to think of her,’ said the Vice-Principal, but Dr Cox shook his head.
‘You try not to think of her with a damned great boring machine grinding away outside your office window all day.’
‘Talking about shocks,’ said Dr Board, ‘I still can’t understand how the driver of that mechanical corkscrew managed to escape electrocution when they cut through the power cable.’
‘Considering the problems we are faced with, I hardly think that’s a relevant point just at present,’ said Dr Mayfield. ‘What we have got to stress to the members of the CNAA committee is that this degree is an integrated course with a fundamental substructure grounded thematically on a concomitance of cultural and sociological factors in no way unsuperficially disparate and with a solid quota of academic content to give students an intellectual and cerebral..
‘Haemorrhage?’ suggested Dr Board.
Dr Mayfield regarded him balefully. ‘I really do think this is no time for flippancy,’ he said angrily. ‘Either we are committed to the Joint Honours degree or we are not. Furthermore we have only until tomorrow to structure our tactical approach to the visitation committee. Now, which is it to be?’
‘Which is what to be?’ asked Dr Board. ‘What has our commitment or lack of it to do with structuring, for want of several far better words, our so-called tactical approach to a committee which, since it is coming all the way from London to us and not vice versa, is presumably approaching us?’
‘Vice-Principal,’ said Dr Mayfield, I really must protest. Dr Board’s attitude at this late stage in the game is quite incomprehensible. If Dr Board…’
‘Could even begin to understand one tenth of the jargon Dr Mayfield seems to suppose is English he might be in a better position to express his opinion,’ interrupted Dr Board. ‘As it is “incomprehensible” applies to Dr Mayfield’s syntax, not to my attitude. I have always maintained…’
‘Gentlemen,’ said the Vice-Principal. ‘I think it would be best if we avoided inter-departmental wrangles at this point in time and got down to business.’
There was a silence broken finally by Dr Cox. ‘Do you think the police could he persuaded to erect a screen round that hole?’ he asked.
