‘I shall certainly suggest that to them,’ said Dr Mayfield. They passed on to the matter of entertainment.
‘I have arranged for there to be plenty of drinks before lunch,’ said the Vice-Principal, ‘and in any case lunch will be judiciously delayed to allow them to get into the right mood so the afternoon sessions should be cut short and proceed, hopefully, more smoothly.’
‘Just so long as the Catering Department doesn’t serve Toad in the Hole,’ said Dr Board.
The meeting broke up acrimoniously.
So did Mr Morris’s encounter with the Crime Reporter of the Sunday Post.
‘Of course I didn’t tell the police that I employed homicidal maniacs as a matter of policy,’ he shouted at the reporter. ‘And in any case what I said was, as I understood it, to be treated in the strictest confidence.’
‘But you did say you thought Wilt was insane and that quite a number of Liberal Studies lecturers were off their heads?’
Mr Morris looked at the man with loathing. ‘To put the record straight, what I said was that some of them were…’
‘Off their rockers?’ suggested the reporter.
‘No, not off, their rockers,’ shouted Mr Morris. ‘Merely, well, shall we say, slightly unbalanced.’
‘That’s not what the police say you said. They say quote…’
‘I don’t care what the police say I said. I know what I said and what I didn’t and if you’re implying…’
‘I’m not implying anything. You made a statement that half your staff are nuts and I’m trying to verify it.’
‘Verify it?’ snarled Mr Morris. ‘You put words into my mouth I never said and you call that verifying it?’
‘Did you say it or not? That’s all I’m asking. I mean if you express an opinion about your staff…’
‘Mr MacArthur, what I think about my staff is my own affair. It has absolutely nothing to do with you or the rag you represent’
‘Three million people will be interested to read your opinion on Sunday morning,’ said Mr MacArthur, ‘and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if this Wilt character didn’t sue you if he ever gets out of the copshop.’
‘Sue me? What the hell could he sue me for?’
‘Calling him a homicidal maniac for a start. Banner headlines HEAD OF LIBERAL STUDIES CALLS LECTURER HOMICIDAL MANIAC should be good for fifty thousand. I’d be surprised if he got less.’
Mr Morris contemplated destitution. ‘Even your paper would never print that,’ he muttered. ‘I mean Wilt would sue you too.’
‘Oh we’re used to libel actions. They’re run-of-the-mill for us. We pay for them out of petty cash. Now if you’d be a bit more cooperative…’ He left the suggestion in mid-air for Mr Morris to digest.
‘What do you want to know?’ he asked miserably.
‘Got any juicy drug scene stories for us?’ asked Mr MacArthur. ‘You know the sort of thing. LOVE ORGIES IN LECTURES. That always gets the public. Teenyboppers having it off and all that. Give us a good one and we’ll let you off the hook about Wilt.’
‘Get out of my office!’ yelled Mr Morris.
Mr MacArthur got up. ‘You’re going to regret this.’ he said and went downstairs to the
