ere we had been half an hour in company.
The young lord appeared to have met the marchioness at the Finches more by appointment than design, although his efforts to make an impression upon the young and elegant widow, as it seemed to me, were entirely thrown away. The marchioness seldom took her eyes off me and gave me to understand in more ways than one that she was pleased with me and would have no objection to a more intimate acquaintance. In less than an hour she took her departure with Lord Glozy and I was left alone with my charming mistress.
'You are handsome enough for me to eat you!' cried she, throwing herself into my arms.
'You Batter me!'
'No. If you are not a count, you ought to be. One thing, however, is certain-I would not give you up for all the counts in the world!'
There was a languishing light in her dark eyes which could not be mistaken.
'Which is the way to your boudoir?' said I, embracing her.
'I'll show you,' she answered, taking me by the hand. We passed unseen up to the second floor and thence into an apartment which led to the bower of love.
My charmer trembled with anticipative joy to such a degree that she came near falling, to prevent which I raised her in my arms and bore her to the couch, on which she lay, panting like one in ecstasy. A moment later she drew me towards her and whispering, 'I have not forgotten my promise,' began to unbutton my clothes, with her own delicate fingers released my member and, fastening her fresh cool lips upon the acorn, gave a little sigh of delight and buried it in her eager mouth.
Her skill in this incomparable pastime proved to be of a high order, and after she had experienced the penetrative quality of my tongue in the corresponding part of her person we warmly congratulated each other upon our mutual addiction to this form of erotic amusement, of which we proceeded to give practical evidence by gama- huching one another in every position which our inflamed desires suggested.
A fortnight flew by, and not a day passed without witnessing fresh evidences of love on thepart of my charming mistress and myself.
Meanwhile the marchioness had contrived during her visits, which had become almost as frequent as my own, to let me know that a visit to her home in Grosvenor Square would be duly appreciated; and as I was by this time getting somewhat satiated with Mrs. Finch, I determined to pay the other lady a visit.
The marchioness was young, pretty and plump, and she received me very graciously. I sought no favours from her till our third interview when, after a little pretended resistance, she allowed me to give her, on the sofa in the drawing room, an evidence of my manly powers. From that hour we might be said to have become artists in love matters-it became with us a study in which position we could best partake of it in order to obtain from it the greatest amount of rapture and delight. The marchioness was no novice either in love or intrigue, and she soon taught me that she understood these affairs as well as I could teach her.
In one thing only did I astonish her-my vigour. She confessed that I could do what she never before believed to be possible in any nobleman in England-satiate her. The splendid creature never dreamed for a moment that I was anything less than what Mrs. Finch represented me to be-a French count spending a few months in London on a lark!
The marchioness introduced me to her friends as 'the most charming Frenchman out of France,' and I became quite a lion-at least among the ladies.
My friend the marchioness was, however, apt at times to give way to fits of jealousy; since she had given herself up to me she insisted that I should give up all other women, To this I agreed, but only on the condition that she should renounce all other men. The marchioness was indignant at such a proposal. She pretended to be exceedingly virtuous, declaring that with the exception of her late husband and myself she had never known what it was to exchange amatory dalliance. As I had nothing to win by contradicting this laughable statement I affected to believe her, and agreed to reserve myself expressly for her love. Unfortunately, she detected me, two days afterward, in a position with Mrs. Finch which left no room for doubt in regard to the nature of the tie which subsisted between the charming wife of the wealthy tradesman and myself. Trembling with jealousy and rage, the marchioness turned from the apartment and tore homeward, biting her lips with passion till they bled. From that moment all friendship between Mrs. Finch and herself ceased. As for the poor Count Stophet, on encountering me in Regent's Park a week or two afterward, she satirically wished me joy of my conquest of the merchant's wife but notified to me that, as for herself, she was done with me.
'Pho-pho!' I exclaimed.
'To show you, sir,' she said, 'that I am in earnest, I will inform you that there is to be a rout at my house tonight, and that the Count Stophet is not invited!'
'Nonsense, my pretty marchioness!' said I. 'Have done with me?
Impossible! We were made for each other, and what Providence has done, you cannot undo. Although not invited, I shall do myself the honour to be with you at two, you may depend on it!'
'The doors will be closed against you.'
'I will break them open.'
'The other guests in my house shall, by force, remove you, impertinent villain.'
'I will fight them and kiss you, my dear marchioness; so don't say another word about it.'
With these words, I lifted my hat, made her a low bow, and passed on with a quiet smile.
A plan had entered my head, while the pretty marchioness was venting her spleen upon me, which I silently determined to carry out.
At one o'clock the next!' morning I left my lodgings and proceeded towards the mansion of the marchioness. On coming in sight of the building I beheld, as I had expected, a train of carriages of nearly a quarter of a mile in extent in waiting. Picking up a pebble and aiming it at the nearest coachman, who was drowsing, half asleep, half awake, upon his box, I fired it, and with such force as to knock his hat from off his head. In an instant he was awake.
'Who the deuce did that?' he demanded fiercely and in a tone that roused the half slumbering jehus near him to their feet. 'Who did that?' he repeated, springing down from his box. 'I can thrash the rascal, whoever he is, in two minutes!'
'What's the matter, what's the matter?' asked a dozen coachmen, approaching him. 'Who hit you, Mike?'
'Stop this noise-stop this noise!' cried a burly watchman, stepping from his box and approaching the group. 'The peace and quiet of the city mustn't be disturbed in this unchristian way. Silence!'
'Silence yourself!' returned the aggrieved coachman, storming with rage, 'or I'll give you something to make you crow in another fashion!'
'What!' shouted the indignant guardian of the night, 'Do you dare to threaten one of His Majesty's officers? I'll give you sum'at for this! Come along, you rascal! to the watch'us!'
'Rascal yourself!' roared the jarvey, foaming with rage. 'Take that!' and he gave the burly watchman a blow in the breast that made him reel.
The latter sprung his rattle and calling on all around in the name of the king to aid him in the arrest of the 'Violator of the king's peace,' rushed forward to capture the assailant.
In an instant all was uproar and confusion-many of the coachmen siding with their enraged brother jarvey and pushing back others who took the part of the guardian of the night. In a few moments the jehus all along the line sprang from their boxes and came running towards the scene of strife. A few minutes later and the guardians of the night, summoned by the roar and din, approached from all quarters and mingled in the fray.
Meanwhile, I remained quiet, looking down the street in the direction of the watchman's box which stood a few paces from the main entrance of the marchioness's dwelling. By and by, the door of this box opened and its occupant, alarmed by the noisy din which was gradually increasing, stepped out and, springing his alarm rattle in his flight, ran rapidly in the direction of the throng. The moment I saw this I darted forward to meet him and purposely ran against him with such force that he lost his balance and fell like one stunned.
In an instant I had his huge top coat off and threw it on myself. Then seizing his club and rattle, I ran down the street shouting 'Murder!' On reaching the house of the marchioness I darted up the steps leading to the entrance and rang the bell with a sudden violence that brought the servants to the door in a crowd.
'Murder!' I cried, in answer to their looks of inquiry and surprise and pointing at the same time with an energetic gesture up the street.
