earth; but mine are spread out wide and flat, as if to welcome scents from every quarter.
Crit. But consider, a snubness of the nose, how is that more beautiful than straightness?[7]
[7] Or, 'your straight nose.' Cf. Plat. 'Theaet.' 209 C: Soc. 'Or, if I had further known you not only as having nose and eyes, but as having a snub nose and prominent eyes, should I have any more notion of you than myself and others who resemble me?' Cf. also Aristot. 'Pol.' v. 9, 7: 'A nose which varies from the ideal of straightness to a hook or snub may still be a good shape and agreeable to the eye; but if the excess be very great, all symmetry is lost, and the nose at last ceases to be a nose at all on account of some excess in one direction or defect in the other; and this is true of every other part of the human body. The same law of proportion holds in states.'-- Jowett.
Soc. For this good reason, that a snub nose does not discharge the office of a barrier;[8] it allows the orbs of sight free range of vision: whilst your towering nose looks like an insulting wall of partition to shut off the two eyes.[9]
[8] Or, 'the humble snub is not a screen or barricade.'
[9] Cf. 'Love's Labour Lost,' v. 2. 568: Boyet. 'Your nose says no, you are not, for it stands too right'; also 'The Song of Solomon,' vii. 4: 'Thy nose is the tower of Lebanon, which looketh toward Damascus.'
As to the mouth (proceeded Critobulus), I give in at once; for, given mouths are made for purposes of biting, you could doubtless bite off a much larger mouthful with your mouth than I with mine.
Soc. Yes, and you will admit, perhaps, that I can give a softer kiss than you can, thanks to my thick lips.
Crit. It seems I have an uglier mouth than any ass.
Soc. And here is a fact which you will have to reckon with, if further evidence be needed to prove that I am handsomer than you. The naiads, nymphs, divine, have as their progeny Sileni, who are much more like myself, I take it, than like you. Is that conclusive?
Nay, I give it up (cried Critobulus), I have not a word to say in answer. I am silenced. Let them record the votes. I fain would know at once what I must suffer or must pay.[10] Only (he added) let them vote in secret.[11] I am afraid your wealth and his (Antisthenes') combined may overpower me.
[10] For this formula see 'Dict. Ant.' {timema}. Cf. 'Econ.' xi. 25; Plat. 'Apol.' 36 B; 'Statesm.' 299 A; 'Laws,' freq.; Dem. 529. 23; 533. 2.
[11] And not as in the case described (Thuc. iv. 74), where the people (at Megara) were compelled to give sentence on the political opponents of the oligarchs by an open vote. Cf. Lysias, 133, 12, {ten de psephon ouk eis kadiskous, alla phaneran epi tas trapezas tautas dei tithenai}.
Accordingly the boy and girl began to register the votes in secret, while Socrates directed the proceedings. He would have the lamp- stand[12] this time brought close up to Critobulus; the judges must on no account be taken in; the victor in the suit would get from the two judges, not a wreath of ribands[13] for a chaplet, but some kisses.
[12] {ton lukhnon} here, above, S. 2, {ton lamptera}. Both, I take it, are oil-lamps, and differ merely as 'light' and 'lamp.'
[13] Cf. Plat. 'Symp.' 213; 'Hell.' V. i. 3.
When the urns were emptied, it was found that every vote, without exception, had been cast for Critobulus. [14]
[14] Lit. 'When the pebbles were turned out and proved to be with Critobulus, Socrates remarked, 'Papae!'' which is as much to say, 'Od's pity!'
Whereat Socrates: Bless me! you don't say so? The coin you deal in, Critobulus, is not at all like that of Callias. His makes people just; whilst yours, like other filthy lucre, can corrupt both judge and jury.[15]
[15] {kai dikastas kai kritas}, 'both jury and presiding judges,' i.e. the company and the boy and girl.
VI
Thereupon some members of the party called on Critobulus to accept the meed of victory in kisses (due from boy and girl); others urged him first to bribe their master; whilst others bandied other jests. Amidst the general hilarity Hermogenes alone kept silence.
Whereat Socrates turned to the silent man, and thus accosted him: Hermogenes, what is a drunken brawl? Can you explain to us?
He answered: If you ask me what it is, I do not know, but I can tell you what it seems to me to be.
Soc. That seems as good. What does it seem?
Her. A drunken brawl, in my poor judgment, is annoyance caused to people over wine.
Soc. Are you aware that you at present are annoying us by silence?
Her. What, whilst you are talking?
Soc. No, when we pause a while.
Her. Then you have not observed that, as to any interval between your talk, a man would find it hard to insert a hair, much more one grain of sense.
Then Socrates: O Callias, to the rescue! help a man severely handled by his cross-examiner.
Call. With all my heart (and as he spoke he faced Hermogenes). Why, when the flute is talking, we are as silent as the grave.
Her. What, would you have me imitate Nicostratus[1] the actor, reciting his tetrameters[2] to the music of the fife? Must I discourse to you in answer to the flute?
[1] See Cobet, 'Pros. Xen.' p. 53; and cf. Diog. Laert. iv. 3, 4; Polyaen. vi. 10; 'Hell.' IV. viii. 18.
[2] See Aristoph. 'Clouds,' where Socrates is giving Strepsiades a lesson in 'measures,' 639-646: {poteron to trimetron e to tetrametron}.
Then Socrates: By all that's holy, I wish you would, Hermogenes. How delightful it would be. Just as a song sounds sweeter in concert with the flute, so would your talk be more mellifluous attuned to its soft pipings; and particularly if you would use gesticulation like the flute-girl, to suit the tenor of your speech.
Here Callias demanded: And when our friend (Antisthenes) essays to cross-examine people[3] at a banquet, what kind of piping[4] should he have?
[3] Or, 'a poor body,' in reference to the elentic onslaught made on himself by Antisthenes above.
[4] {to aulema}, a composition for reed instruments, 'music for the flute.' Cf. Aristoph. 'Frogs,' 1302.
Ant. The person in the witness-box would best be suited with a serpent-hissing theme.[5]
[5] Or, 'motif on a scrannel pipe.' See L. S. s.v. {puthaules}. Cf. Poll. iv. 81, {puthikon aulema}, an air ({nomos}) played on the {puthois aulos}, expressing the battle between Apollo and the Python, the hiss of which was imitated.
Thus the stream of talk flowed on; until the Syracusan, who was painfully aware that while the company amused themselves, his 'exhibition' was neglected, turned, in a fit of jealous spleen, at last on Socrates.[6]
[6] 'The Syracusan is 'civil as an orange, and of that jealous complexion.''
The Syr. They call you Socrates. Are you that person commonly nicknamed the thinker?[7]
[7] Apparently he has been to see the 'Clouds' (exhibited first in 423 B.C.), and has conceived certain ideas concerning Socrates, 'a wise man, who speculated about the heaven above, and searched into the earth beneath, and made the worse appear the better cause.' Plat. 'Apol.' 18 B, 19 C. 'Clouds,' 101, 360, {khair o presbuta . . . ton nun meteorosophiston . . . ta te meteora phrontistes}.
Soc. Which surely is a better fate than to be called a thoughtless person?
The Syr. Perhaps, if you were not thought to split your brains on things above us--transcendental stuff.[8]
[8] Or, 'if only you were held to be less 'meteoric,' less head-in- airy in your speculations.'
Soc. And is there anything more transcendental than the gods?
The Syr. By heaven! no, it is not the gods above us whom you care for, but for matters void of use and valueless.[9]
[9] It is impossible to give the play on words. The Syr. {anophelestaton}. Soc. {ano . . . ophelousin}. Schenkl after Madvig emend.: {ton ano en nephelais onton} = 'but for things in the clouds above.'
Soc. It seems, then, by your showing I do care for them. How value less the gods, not more, if being above us they make the void of use to send us rain, and cause their light to shine on us? And now, sir, if you do not like this frigid[10] argument, why do you cause me trouble? The fault is yours.[11]
[10] Cf. 'Cyrop.' VIII. iv. 22, 23.
