When lady Feng saw dowager lady Chia in most exuberant spirits, she smiled. 'Won't it be nice,' she said, 'to avail ourselves of the presence of the singing girls to pass plum blossom round and have the game of forfeits: 'Spring-happy eyebrow-corners-go-up,' eh?'
'That's a fine game of forfeits!' Old lady Chia cried, with a smile. 'It just suits the time of the year.'
Orders were therefore given at once to fetch a forfeit drum, varnished black, and ornamented with designs executed with copper tacks. When brought, it was handed to the singing girls to put on the table and rap on it. A twig of red plum blossom was then obtained. 'The one in whose hand it is when the drum stops,' dowager lady Chia laughingly proposed, 'will have to drink a cup of wine, and to say something or other as well.'
'I'll tell you what,' lady Feng interposed with a smile. 'Who of us can pit herself against you, dear ancestor, who have ever ready at hand whatever you want to say? With the little use we are in this line, won't there be an absolute lack of fun in our contributions? My idea is that it would be nicer were something said that could be appreciated both by the refined as well as the unrefined. So won't it be preferable that the person, in whose hands the twig remains, when the drum stops, should crack some joke or other?'
Every one, who heard her, was fully aware what a good hand she had always been at witty things, and how she, more than any other, had an inexhaustible supply of novel and amusing rules of forfeits, ever stocked in her mind, so her suggestion not only gratified the various inmates of the family seated at the banquet, but even filled the whole posse of servants, both old and young, who stood in attendance below, with intense delight. The young waiting-maids rushed with eagerness in search of the young ladies and told them to come and listen to their lady Secunda, who was on the point again of saying funny things. A whole crowd of servant-girls anxiously pressed inside and crammed the room. In a little time, the theatricals were brought to a close, and the music was stopped. Dowager lady Chia had some soup, fine cakes and fruits handed to Wen Kuan and her companions to regale themselves with, and then gave orders to sound the drum. The singing-girls were both experts, so now they beat fast; and now slow. Either slow like the dripping of the remnants of water in a clepsydra. Or quick, as when beans are being sown. Or with the velocity of the pace of a scared horse, or that of the flash of a swift lightning. The sound of the drum came to a standstill abruptly. The twig of plum blossom had just reached old lady Chia, when by a strange coincidence, the rattle ceased. Every one blurted out into a boisterous fit of laughter. Chia Jung hastily approached and filled a cup. 'It's only natural,' they laughingly cried, 'that you venerable senior, should be the first to get exhilarated; for then, thanks to you, we shall also come in for some measure of good cheer.'
'To gulp down this wine is an easy job,' dowager lady smiled, 'but to crack jokes is somewhat difficult.'
'Your jokes, dear ancestor, are even wittier than those of lady Feng,' the party shouted, 'so favour us with one, and let's have a laugh!'
'I've nothing out of the way to evoke laughter with,' old lady Chia smilingly answered. 'Yet all that remains for me to do is to thicken the skin of my antiquated phiz and come out with some joke. In a certain family,' she consequently went on to narrate, 'there were ten sons; these married ten wives. The tenth of these wives was, however, so intelligent, sharp, quick of mind, and glib of tongue, that her father and mother-in-law loved her best of all, and maintained from morning to night that the other nine were not filial. These nine felt much aggrieved and they accordingly took counsel together. 'We nine,' they said, 'are filial enough at heart; the only thing is that that shrew has the gift of the gab. That's why our father and mother-in-law think her so perfect. But to whom can we go and confide our grievance?' One of them was struck with an idea. 'Let's go to-morrow,' she proposed, 'to the temple of the King of Hell and burn incense. We can then tell the King our grudge and ask him how it was that, when he bade us receive life and become human beings, he only conferred a glib tongue on that vixen and that we were only allotted such blunt mouths?' The eight listened to her plan, and were quite enraptured with it. 'This proposal is faultless!' they assented. On the next day, they sped in a body to the temple of the God of Hell, and after burning incense, the nine sisters-in-law slept under the altar, on which their offerings were laid. Their nine spirits waited with the special purpose of seeing the carriage of the King of Hell arrive; but they waited and waited, and yet he did not come. They were just giving way to despair when they espied Sun Hsing-che, (the god of monkeys), advancing on a rolling cloud. He espied the nine spirits, and felt inclined to take a golden rod and beat them. The nine spirits were plunged in terror. Hastily they fell on their knees, and pleaded for mercy.'
''What are you up to?' Sun Hsing-che inquired.'
'The nine women, with alacrity, told him all.'
'After Sun Hsing-che had listened to their confidences, he stamped his foot and heaved a sigh. 'Is that the case?' he asked. 'Well, it's lucky enough you came across me, for had you waited for the God of Hell, he wouldn't have known anything about it.''
'At these assurances, the nine women gave way to entreaties. 'Great saint,' they pleaded, 'if you were to display some commiseration, we would be all right.''
'Sun Hsing-che smiled. 'There's no difficulty in the way,' he observed. 'On the day on which you ten sisters- in-law came to life, I was, as luck would have it, on a visit to the King of Hell's place. So I (saw) him do something on the ground, and the junior sister-of-law of yours lap it up. But if you now wish to become smart and sharp- tongued, the remedy lies in water. If I too were therefore to do something, and you to drink it, the desired effect will be attained.''
At the close of her story, the company roared with laughter.
'Splendid!' shouted lady Feng. 'But luckily we're all slow of tongue and dull of intellect, otherwise, we too must have had the water of monkeys to drink.'
'Who among us here,' Mrs. Yu and dame Lou smilingly remarked, addressing themselves to Li Wan, 'has tasted any monkey's water. So don't sham ignorance of things!'
'A joke must hit the point to be amusing,' Mrs. Hsueeh ventured.
But while she spoke, (the girls) began again to beat the drum. The young maids were keen to hear lady Feng's jokes. They therefore explained to the singing girls, in a confidential tone, that a cough would be the given signal (for them to desist). In no time (the blossom) was handed round on both sides. As soon as it came to lady Feng, the young maids purposely gave a cough. The singing-girl at once stopped short. 'Now we've caught her!' shouted the party laughingly; 'drink your wine, be quick! And mind you tell something nice! But don't make us laugh so heartily as to get stomachaches.'
Lady Feng was lost in thought. Presently, she began with a smile. 'A certain household,' she said, 'was celebrating the first moon festival. The entire family was enjoying the sight of the lanterns, and drinking their wine. In real truth unusual excitement prevailed. There were great grandmothers, grandmothers, daughters-in-law, grandsons' wives, great grandsons, granddaughters, granddaughters-in-law, aunts' granddaughters, cousins' granddaughters; and ai-yo-yo, there was verily such a bustle and confusion!'
While minding her story, they laughed. 'Listen to all this mean mouth says!' they cried. 'We wonder what other ramifications she won't introduce!'
'If you want to bully me,' Mrs. Yu smiled, 'I'll tear that mouth of yours to pieces.'
Lady Feng rose to her feet and clapped her hands.
'One does all one can to rack one's brain,' she smiled, 'and here you combine to do your utmost to confuse me! Well, if it is so, I won't go on.'
'Proceed with your story,' old lady Chia exclaimed with a smile. 'What comes afterwards?'
Lady Feng thought for a while. 'Well, after that,' she continued laughingly, 'they all sat together and crammed the whole room. They primed themselves with wine throughout the hours of night and then they broke up.'
The various inmates noticed in what a serious and sedate manner she narrated her story, and none ventured to pass any further remarks, but waited anxiously for her to go on, when they became aware that she coldly and drily came to a stop.
Shih Hsiang-yuen stared at her for ever so long.
'I'll tell you another,' lady Feng laughingly remarked. 'At the first moon festival, several persons carried a cracker as large as a room and went out of town to let it off. Over and above ten thousand persons were attracted, and they followed to see the sight. One among them was of an impatient disposition. He could not reconcile himself to wait; so stealthily he snatched a joss-stick and set fire to it. A sound of 'pu-ch'ih' was heard. The whole number of spectators laughed boisterously and withdrew. The persons, who carried the cracker, felt a grudge against the cracker-seller for not having made it tight, (and wondered) how it was that every one had left without hearing it go off.'
'Is it likely that the men themselves didn't hear the report?' Hsiang-yuen insinuated.
