With the sun and all in my eyes and my blood going so I kept thinking every time my head would go on and burst and get it over with, with briers and things grabbing at me, then I came onto the sand ditch where they had been and I recognised the tree where the car was, and just as I got out of the ditch and started running I heard the car start. It went off fast, blowing the horn. They kept on blowing it, like it was saying Yah. Yah. Yaaahhhhhhhh, going out of sight. I got to the road just in time to see it go out of sight.
By the time I got up to where my car was, they were clean out of sight, the horn still blowing. Well, I never thought anything about it except I was saying Run. Run back to town. Run home and try to convince Mother that I never saw you in that car. Try to make her believe that I dont know who he was. Try to make her believe that I didn't miss ten feet of catching you in that ditch. Try to make her believe you were standing up, too.
It kept on saying Yahhhhh, Yahhhhh, Yaaahhhhhhhhh, getting fainter and fainter. Then it quit, and I could hear a cow lowing up at Russell's barn. And still I never thought. I went up to the door and opened it and raised my foot. I kind of thought then that the car was leaning a little more than the slant of the road would be, but I never found it out until I got in and started off.
Well, I just sat there. It was getting on toward sundown, and town was about five miles. They never even had guts enough to puncture it, to jab a hole in it. They just let the air out. I just stood there for a while, thinking about that kitchen full of niggers and not one of them had time to lift a tire onto the rack and screw up a couple of bolts. It was kind of funny because even she couldn't have seen far enough ahead to take the pump out on purpose, unless she thought about it while he was letting out the air maybe. But what it probably was was somebody took it out and gave it to Ben to play with for a squirt gun because they'd take the whole car to pieces if he wanted it and Dilsey says, Aint nobody teched yo car. What we want to fool with hit fer? and I says You're a nigger. You're lucky, do you know it? I says I'll swap with you any day because it takes a white man not to have anymore sense than to worry about what a little slut of a girl does.
I walked up to Russell's. He had a pump. That was just an oversight on their part, I reckon. Only I still couldn't believe she'd have had the nerve to. I kept thinking that. I dont know why it is I cant seem to learn that a woman'll do anything. I kept thinking, Let's forget for a while how I feel toward you and how you feel toward me: I just wouldn't do you this way. I wouldn't do you this way no matter what you had done to me. Because like I say blood is blood and you cant get around it. It's not playing a joke that any eight year old boy could have thought of, it's letting your own uncle be laughed at by a man that would wear a red tie. They come into town and call us all a bunch of hicks and think it's too small to hold them. Well he doesn't know just how right he is. And her too. If that's the way she feels about it, she'd better keep right on going and a dam good riddance.
I stopped and returned Russell's pump and drove on to town. I went to the drugstore and got a shot and then I went to the telegraph office. It had closed at 20.21, forty points down. Forty times five dollars; buy something with that if you can, and she'll say, I've got to have it I've just got to and I'll say that's too bad you'll have to try somebody else, I haven't got any money; I've been too busy to make any.
I just looked at him.
'I'll tell you some news,' I says. 'You'll be astonished to learn that I am interested in the cotton market,' I says. 'That never occurred to you, did it?'
'I did my best to deliver it,' he says. 'I tried the store twice and called up your house, but they didn't know where you were,' he says, digging in the drawer.
'Deliver what?' I says. He handed me a telegram. 'What time did this come?' I says.
'About half past three,' he says.
'And now it's ten minutes past five,' I says.
'I tried to deliver it,' he says. 'I couldn't find you.'
'That's not my fault, is it?' I says. I opened it, just to see what kind of a lie they'd tell me this time. They must be in one hell of a shape if they've got to come all the way to Mississippi to steal ten dollars a month. Sell, it says. The market will be unstable, with a general downward tendency. Do not be alarmed following government report.
'How much would a message like this cost?' I says. He told me.
'They paid it,' he says.
'Then I owe them that much,' I says. 'I already knew this. Send this collect,' I says, taking a blank. Buy, I wrote, Market just on point of blowing its head off. Occasional flurries for purpose of hooking a few more country suckers who haven't got in to the telegraph office yet. Do not be alarmed. 'Send that collect,' I says.
He looked at the message, then he looked at the clock. 'Market closed an hour ago,' he says.
'Well,' I says. 'That's not my fault either. I didn't invent it; I just bought a little of it while under the impression that the telegraph company would keep me informed as to what it was doing.'
'A report is posted whenever it comes in,' he says.
'Yes,' I says. 'And in Memphis they have it on a blackboard every ten seconds,' I says. 'I was within sixty- seven miles of there once this afternoon.'
He looked at the message. 'You want to send this?' he says.
'I still haven't changed my mind,' I says. I wrote the other one out and counted the money. 'And this one too, if you're sure you can spell b-u-y.'
I went back to the store. I could hear the band from down the street. Prohibition's a fine thing. Used to be they'd come in Saturday with just one pair of shoes in the family and him wearing them, and they'd go down to the express office and get his package; now they all go to the show barefooted, with the merchants in the door like a row of tigers or something in a cage, watching them pass. Earl says,
'I hope it wasn't anything serious.'
'What?' I says. He looked at his watch. Then he went to the door and looked at the courthouse clock. 'You ought to have a dollar watch,' I says. 'It wont cost you so much to believe it's lying each time.'
'What?' he says.
'Nothing,' I says. 'Hope I haven't inconvenienced you.'
'We were not busy much,' he says. 'They all went to the show. It's all right.'
'If it's not all right,' I says, 'you know what you can do about it.'
'I said it was all right,' he says.
'I heard you,' I says. 'And if it's not all right, you know what you can do about it.'
'Do you want to quit?' he says.
'It's not my business,' I says. 'My wishes dont matter. But dont get the idea that you are protecting me by keeping me.'
'You'd be a good business man if you'd let yourself, Jason,' he says.
'At least I can tend to my own business and let other people's alone,' I says.
'I dont know why you are trying to make me fire you,' he says. 'You know you could quit anytime and there wouldn't be any hard feelings between us.'
'Maybe that's why I dont quit,' I says. 'As long as I tend to my job, that's what you are paying me for.' I went on to the back and got a drink of water and went on out to the back door. Job had the cultivators all set up at last. It was quiet there, and pretty soon my head got a little easier. I could hear them singing now, and then the band played again. Well, let them get every quarter and dime in the county; it was no skin off my back. I've done what I could; a man that can live as long as I have and not know when to quit is a fool. Especially as it's no business of mine. If it was my own daughter now it would be different, because she wouldn't have time to; she'd have to work some to feed a few invalids and idiots and niggers, because how could I have the face to bring anybody there. I've too much respect for anybody to do that. I'm a man, I can stand it, it's my own flesh and blood and I'd like to see the color of the man's eyes that would speak disrespectful of any woman that was my friend it's these dam good women that do it I'd like to see the good, church-going woman that's half as square as Lorraine, whore or no whore. Like I say if I was to get married you'd go up like a balloon and you know it and she says I want you to be happy to have a family of your own not to slave your life away for us. But I'll be gone soon and then you can take a wife but you'll never find a woman who is worthy of you and I says yes I could. You'd get right up out of your grave you know you would. I says no thank you I have all the women I can take care of now if I married a wife she'd probably turn out to be a hophead or something. That's all we lack in this family, I says.
The sun was down beyond the Methodist church now, and the pigeons were flying back and forth around the steeple, and when the band stopped I could hear them cooing. It hadn't been four months since Christmas, and yet they were almost as thick as ever. I reckon Parson Walthall was getting a belly full of them now. You'd have
