'So what do we do now. Hot Stuff?' Massha sighed.
'The only thing I can think of is to try to locate those witnesses before the execution date,' I said. 'What I can't figure is how to go about looking without getting half the town down on our necks.'
'What we really need is a bloodhound,' Guido grumbled.
'Say, that's not a bad idea!' Vilhelm exclaimed, coming to life. 'Maybe I can help you after all!'
'You got a bloodhound?' the bodyguard said, raising his eyebrows.
'Even better,' the vampire declared. 'I don't know why I didn't think of it before. The ones you need to get in touch with are the Woof Writers.'
I studied him-carefully to see if this were some kind of joke.
'The Woof Writers?' I repeated at last.
'Well, that's what we in Blut call them behind their backs. Actually, they're a husband-wife team of werewolves who are on a big crusade to raise sympathy for humans.'
'Werewolves,' I said carefully.
'Sure. We got all kinds here in Limbo. Anyway, if anyone in this dimension will be willing to stick their necks out for you, they're the ones. They do their own thing and don't really give a hang what any of the other locals think about it. Besides, werewolves are second to none when it comes to sniffing out a trail.'
'Werewolves.' I repeated.
Vilhelm cocked his head at me curiously.
'Am I imagining things, Skeeve, or didn't you just say that?'
'What's more,' Massha smiled sweetly, 'he'll probably say it again. It bears repeating.'
'Werewolves,' I said again, just to support my apprentice.
'Boss,' Guido began, 'I don't want to say this, but nobody said anything about werewolves when we…'
'Good,' I interrupted brusquely. 'You don't want to say it, and I don't want to hear it. Now that we're in agreement, let's just pass on it and…'
'But Boss! We can't team up with werewolves.'
'Guido, we just went over this. We're in a tight spot and in a strange dimension. We can't afford to be choosy about our allies.'
'You don't understand. Boss. I'm allergic to 'em!'
I sank down into a chair and hid my face in my hands.
'I thought you were allergic to garlic,' I said through my fingers.
'That. too,' the bodyguard said. 'But mostly I'm allergic to furry things like kitties or fur coats or…'
'… or werewolves,' Massha finished for him. 'Frankly, Dark and Deadly, one starts to wonder how you've been able to function effectively all these years.'
'Hey, it doesn't come up all that often, know what I mean?' Guido argued defensively. 'How many times have you been attacked by somethin' furry?'
'Not as often as I'd like!' Massha leered.
'Enough, you two,' I ordered, raising my head. 'Guido, have you ever actually been near a werewolf?'
'Well, no. But…'
'Then until we know for sure, we'll assume you're not allergic to them. Okay? Vilhelm, exactly where do we find these Woof Writers of yours?'
Chapter Eight
'First, let's decide who's leading and who's following.'
'BOSS, just where the hell is Pahkipsee?'
I found myself wondering if all bodyguards spent most of their time complaining, or if I had just gotten lucky.
'Look, Guido. You were there and heard the same instructions I did. If Vilhelm was right, it should be just up the road here a couple more miles.'
'… 'a rather dead bedroom community, fit only for those not up to the fast-lane life-style of the big city,' ' Massha quoted in a close imitation of the vampire's voice.
Guido snickered rudely.
'Why do I get the feeling you didn't particularly warm to Vilhelm, Massha?' I suppressed a grin of my own.
'Maybe it's because he's the only guy we've met she hasn't made a pass at?' Guido suggested.
Massha favored him with an extended tongue and crossed eyes before answering.
'Oh, Vilhelm's okay,' she said. 'Kinda cute, too… at least the top of his head was. And he did admit that in general vampires were more partial to cities and parties while werewolves preferred the back-to-nature atmosphere of rural living. I just didn't like the crack, that's all. I grew up on a farm, you know. Country breakfasts have a lot to do with my current panoramic physique. Besides, something inside says you shouldn't trust a smiling vampire… or at least you shouldn't trust him too far.'
I had been about to mention the fact that I had grown up on a farm, too, but withheld the information. Obviously, farm food hadn't particularly affected my physique, and I didn't want to rob my apprentice of her excuse.
'If he had wanted to do us harm, all he would have had to do was blow the whistle on us while we were still in town,' I pointed out. 'Let's just take things at face value and assume he was really being as nice as he seemed… for all our peace of minds.'
I wished I was as confident as I sounded. We were a long way out in the boondocks, and if Vilhelm had wanted to send us off on a wild goose chase, he couldn't have picked a better direction to start us off in.
'Yeah, well I'd feel a lot better if we weren't being followed,' Guido grumbled.
I stopped in my tracks. So did Massha… in her tracks, that is. The bodyguard managed to stumble into us before bringing his own forward progress to a halt.
'What is it, Boss? Something wrong?'
'For a minute there, I thought I heard you say that we were being followed.'
'Yeah. Since we left the Dispatcher's. Why does… you mean you didn't know?'
I resisted an impulse to throttle him.
'No, Guido. I didn't know. You see, my bodyguard didn't tell me. He was too busy complaining about the road conditions to have time to mention anything as trivial as someone following us.'
Guido took a few shaky steps backward.
'Hey! C'mon, Boss. Don't be like that. I thought you knew! Honest. Whoever's back there isn't doin' such a hot job of hiding the fact that they're dogging our trail. Any idiot could've spotted… I mean…'
'Keep going, Dark and Deadly,' Massha urged. 'You're digging yourself in further with every word, in case you hadn't noticed.'
With great effort I brought myself back under control.
'Whatever,' I said. 'I don't suppose you have any idea who it is?'
'Naw. There's only one of 'em. Unless…'
His voice trailed off into silence and he looked suddenly worried.
'Out with it, Guido. Unless what?'
'Well, sometimes when you're getting really tricky about tailing someone, you put one real clumsy punk out front so's they can be spotted while you keep your real ace-hitter hidden. I hadn't stopped to think of that before. This turkey behind us could be a decoy, know what I mean?'
'I thought you used decoys for ducks, not turkeys,' Massha scowled.
'Well, if that's what's happening, then we're sitting ducks, if it makes you feel any better.'
'Could both of you just be quiet for a few minutes and let me think?' I said, suddenly impatient with their
