God between you have chosen to repopulate the world?”
He said coldly: “For God’s sake, don’t start threatening. You can reduce everything, even this, to the level of a cheap feature film. If I come with you it will be because I choose to.”
One by one they blew out the candles. The little chapel returned to its ageless calm. Rolf closed the door and they began their careful trudge across the field, Rolf leading. He had taken the torch and its small moon of light moved like a will-o‘-the-wisp over the matted tussocks of brown grass, briefly illuminating as if with a miniature searchlight a single trembling flower and patches of daisies, bright as buttons. Behind Rolf the two women walked together, Julian with her arm in Miriam’s. Luke and Theo brought up the rear. They didn’t speak but Theo was aware that Luke was glad of his company. He was interested that he himself could be possessed by such strong feelings, by surges of wonder, excitement and awe, and yet be able to observe and analyse the effect of feelings on action and thought. He was interested, too, that amid the tumult he could have room for irritation. It seemed so petty and irrelevant a response to the overwhelming importance of his dilemma. But the whole situation was one of paradox. Could ever aims and means have been so mismatched? Had there ever been an enterprise of such immense importance embarked upon by such frail and pathetically inadequate adventurers? But he didn’t need to be one of them. Unarmed they couldn’t permanently hold him by force, and he had his car keys. He could get away, telephone Xan, put an end to it. But if he did, Julian would die. At least she thought she would, and the conviction might be powerful enough to kill both her and her child. He had been responsible for the death of one child. That was enough.
When they at last reached the pond and the green where he had parked the Rover, he half-expected to see it surrounded by the SSP, black immobile figures, stony-eyed, guns at the ready. But the village was as deserted as when they had arrived. As they came up to the car he decided to make one more attempt.
It was to Julian he turned. He said: “Whatever you feel about the Warden, whatever you fear, let me ring him now. Let me speak to him. He’s not the devil you think.”
It was Rolf's impatient voice that answered. “Don’t you ever give up? She doesn’t want your patronage. She doesn’t trust your promises. We’ll do what we’ve planned, get as far from here as we can and find shelter. We’ll steal what food we need until the child’s born.”
Miriam said: “Theo, we’ve no choice. Somewhere there must be a place for us, perhaps a deserted cottage in deep woodland.”
Theo turned on her. “Quite an idyll, isn’t it? I can picture you all. A snug little cottage in some remote forest glade, smoke from your wood fire rising from the chimney, a well of clean water, rabbits and birds sitting around ready to be caught, the rear garden stocked with vegetables. Perhaps you’ll even find a few chickens and a goat to provide milk. And no doubt the previous owners will have obligingly left a pram in the garden shed.”
Miriam said again, calmly but firmly, her eyes fixed on his: “Theo, we have no choice.”
And nor had he. That moment when he had knelt at Julian’s feet, had felt her child move under his hand, had bound him to them irrevocably. And they needed him. Rolf might resent him but he was still needed. If the worst came to the worst he could intercede with Xan. If they were to fall into the hands of the State Security Police, his was a voice they might listen to.
He took the car keys from his pocket. Rolf put out his hand for them. Theo said: “I’ll drive. You can choose the route. I take it you can read a map.”
The cheap jibe had been unwise. Rolf’s voice was dangerously calm: “You despise us, don’t you?”
“No, why should I?”
“You don’t need a reason. You despise the whole world except people of your own sort, people who have had your education, your advantages, your choices. Gascoigne was twice the man you are. What have you ever produced in your life? What have you ever done except talk about the past? No wonder you chose museums as meeting places. That’s where you feel at home. Gascoigne could destroy a landing stage and put a stop to a Quietus single-handed. Could you?”
“Use explosives? No, I admit that that isn’t among my accomplishments.”
Rolf mimicked his voice: “ ‘I admit that that isn’t among my accomplishments’! You should hear yourself. You’re not one of us, you never have been. You haven’t got the guts. And don’t think we really want you. Don’t think we like you. You’re here because you’re the Warden’s cousin. That might be useful.”
He had used the plural, but both of them knew of whom he was speaking. Theo said: “If you admired Gascoigne so much why didn’t you confide in him? If you’d told him about the baby he wouldn’t have disobeyed orders. I might not be one of you, but he was. He had a right to know. You’re responsible for his capture and, if he’s dead, you’re responsible for his death. Don’t blame me if you’re feeling guilty.”
He felt Miriam’s hand on his arm. She said with quiet authority: “Cool it, Theo. If we quarrel, we’re dead. Let’s get away from here, OK?”
When they were in the car, Theo and Rolf in the front seats, Theo asked: “Which way?”
“North-west and into Wales. We’ll be safer over the border. The Warden’s diktat runs there, but he’s more resented than loved. We’ll move by night, sleep by day. And we’ll keep to the minor roads. It’s more important not to be detected than to cover the miles. And they’ll be looking for this car. If we get a chance we’ll change it.”
It was then that inspiration came to Theo. Jasper. Jasper so conveniently close, so well provisioned. Jasper who desperately needed to join him in St. John Street.
He said: “I have a friend who lives outside Asthall, practically the next village. He’s got a store of food and I think I could persuade him to lend us his car.”
Rolf asked: “What makes you think he’s going to agree?”
“There’s something he wants badly which I can give him.”
Rolf said: “We haven’t got time to waste. How long will this persuasion take?”
Theo controlled his irritation. He said: “Getting a different car and stocking it with what we need is hardly a waste of time. I’d have said it was essential. But if you’ve a better suggestion, let’s hear it.”
Rolf said: “All right, let’s go.”
Theo slipped in the clutch and drove carefully through the darkness. When they reached the outskirts of Asthall, he said: “We’ll borrow his car and leave mine in his garage. With any luck it will be a long time before they get on to him. And I think I can promise he won’t talk.”
Julian leaned forward and said: “Wouldn’t that mean putting your friend in danger? We mustn’t do that.”
Rolf was impatient. “He’ll have to take his chances.”
Theo spoke to Julian: “If we’re caught, all they’ll have to connect him with us is the car. He can argue that it was taken in the night, that we stole it, or that we forced him to co- operate.”
Rolf said: “Suppose he won’t co-operate? I’d better come in with you and see that he does.”
“By force? Don’t be a fool. How long would he remain silent after that? He’ll co-operate, but not if you start threatening him. I’ll need one person with me. I’ll take Miriam.”
“Why Miriam?”
“She knows what she wants for the birth.”
Rolf didn’t argue further. Theo wondered if he’d handled Rolf with enough tact, then felt resentment at the arrogance which made that tact necessary. But somehow he must avoid an open quarrel. Compared with Julian’s safety, the appalling importance of their enterprise, his increasing
