“I should like well to have them,” says Jack, says he, “only I cannot.”
“Why cannot you?” says the man.
“O,” says Jack, says he, “I have no money, and my poor mother is very down-hearted. She sent me to the fair to sell this cow and bring some money to lift her heart.”
“O,” says the man, says he, “if you want to lift your mother’s heart I will sell you the mouse, and when you set the bee to play the harp and the mouse to dance to it, your mother will laugh if she never laughed in her life before.”
“But I have no money,” says Jack, says he, “to buy your mouse.”
“I don’t mind,” says the man, says he, “I will take your cow for it.”
Poor Jack was so taken with the mouse and had his mind so set on it, that he thought it was a grand bargain entirely, and he gave the man his cow, and took the mouse and started off for home, and when he got home his mother welcomed him.
“Jack,” says she, “I see you have sold the cow.”
“I did that,” says Jack.
“Did you sell her well?” says she.
“Very well indeed,” says Jack, says he.
“How much did you get for her?”
“I didn’t get money,” says he, “but I got value.”
“O, Jack! Jack !” says she, “what do you mean?”
“I will soon show you that, mother,” says he, taking the mouse out of his pocket and the harp and the bee and setting all on the floor and when he began to whistle the bee began to play, and the mouse got up on its hind legs and began to dance and jig, and the mother gave such a hearty laugh as she never laughed in her life before. To dancing and jigging herself and Jack fell, and the pots and pans and the wheels and reels began to dance and jig over the floor, and the house jigged also. And when they were tired of this, Jack lifted the harp and the mouse and the bee and put them in his pocket, and his mother she laughed for a long time.
But when she got over that she got very down-hearted and very angry entirely with Jack. “And O, Jack,” she says, “you are a stupid, good-for-nothing fellow. We have neither money nor meat in the house, and here you have lost two of my good cows, and I have only one left now. To-morrow morning,” she says, “you must be up early and take this cow to the fair and sell her. See to get something to lift my heart up.”
“I will do that,” says Jack, says he. So he went to his bed, and early in the morning he was up and turned out the spotty cow and went to the fair.
When Jack got to the fair, he saw a crowd gathered in a ring in the street. “I wonder what they are looking at, anyhow,” says he. He pushed through the crowd, and there he saw the same wee man he had seen before, with a bum-clock; and when he put the bum-clock on the ground, he whistled, and the bum-clock began to dance, and the men, women, and children in the street, and Jack and the spotty cow began to dance and jig also, and everything on the street and about it, the wheels and reels, the pots and pans, began to jig, and the houses themselves began to dance likewise. And when the man lifted the bum-clock and put it in his pocket, everybody stopped jigging and dancing and every one laughed loud. The wee man turned, and saw Jack.
“Jack, my brave boy,” says he, “you will never be right fixed until you have this bum-clock, for it is a very fancy thing to have.”
“O, but,” says Jack, says he, “I have no money.”
“No matter for that,” says the man; “you have a cow, and that is as good as money to me.”
“Well,” says Jack, “I have a poor mother who is very down-hearted at home, and she sent me to the fair to sell this cow and raise some money and lift her heart.”
“O, but Jack,” says the wee man, “this bum-clock is the very thing to lift her heart, for when you put down your harp and bee and mouse on the floor, and put the bum-clock along with them, she will laugh if she never laughed in her life before.”
“Well, that is surely true,” says Jack, says he, “and I think I will make a swap with you.”
So Jack gave the cow to the man and took the bum-clock himself, and started for home. His mother was glad to see Jack back, and says she, “Jack, I see that you have sold the cow.”
“I did that, mother,” says Jack.
“Did you sell her well, Jack?” says the mother.
“Very well indeed, mother,” says Jack.
“How much did you get for her?” says the mother.
“I didn’t take any money for her, mother, but value,” says Jack, and he takes out of his pocket the bum- clock and the mouse, and set them on the floor and began to whistle, and the bee began to play the harp and the mouse and the bum-clock stood up on their hind legs and began to dance, and Jack’s mother laughed very hearty, and everything in the house, the wheels and the reels, and the pots and pans, went jigging and hopping over the floor, and the house itself went jigging and hopping about likewise.
When Jack lifted up the animals and put them in his pocket, everything stopped, and the mother laughed for a good while. But after a while, when she came to herself, and saw what Jack had done and how they were now without either money, or food, or a cow, she got very, very angry at Jack, and scolded him hard, and then sat down and began to cry.
Poor Jack, when he looked at himself, confessed that he was a stupid fool entirely. “And what,” says he, “shall I now do for my poor mother?” He went out along the road, thinking and thinking, and he met a wee woman who said, “Good-morrow to you. Jack,” says she, “how is it you are not trying for the King’s daughter of Ireland?”
“What do you mean ?” says Jack.
Says she: “Didn’t you hear what the whole world has heard, that the King of Ireland has a daughter who hasn’t laughed for seven years, and he has promised to give her in marriage, and to give the kingdom along with her, to any man who will take three laughs out of her.” “If that is so,” says Jack, says he, “it is not here I should be.”
Back to the house he went, and gathers together the bee, the harp, the mouse, and the bum-clock, and putting them into his pocket, he bade his mother good-by, and told her it wouldn’t be long till she got good news from him, and off he hurries.
When he reached the castle, there was a ring of spikes all round the castle and men’s heads on nearly every spike there.
“What heads are these?” Jack asked one of the King’s soldiers.
“Any man that comes here trying to win the King’s daughter, and fails to make her laugh three times, loses his head and has it stuck on a spike. These are the heads of the men that failed,” says he.
“A mighty big crowd,” says Jack, says he. Then Jack sent word to tell the King’s daughter and the King that there was a new man who had come to win her.
In a very little time the King and the King’s daughter and the King’s court all came out and sat themselves down on gold and silver chairs in front of the castles and ordered Jack to be brought in until he should have his trial. Jack, before he went, took out of his pocket the bee, the harp, the mouse, and the bum-clock, and he gave the harp to the bee, and he tied a string to one and the other, and took the end of the string himself, and marched into the castle yard before all the court, with his animals coming on a string behind him.
When the Queen and the King and the court and the princes saw poor ragged Jack with his bee, and mouse, and bum-clock hopping behind him on a string, they set up one roar of laughter that was long and loud enough, and when the King’s daughter herself lifted her head and looked to see what they were laughing at, and saw Jack and his paraphernalia, she opened her mouth and she let out of her such a laugh as was never heard before.
Then Jack dropped a low courtesy, and said, “Thank you, my lady; I have one of the three parts of you won.”
Then he drew up his animals in a circle, and began to whistle, and the minute he did, the bee began to play the harp, and the mouse and the bum-clock stood up on their hind legs, got hold of each other, and began to dance, and the King and the King’s court and Jack himself began to dance and jig, and everything about the King’s castle, pots and pans, wheels and reels and the castle itself began to dance also. And the King’s daughter, when she saw
