CHAPTER 18
'I AM DONE WAITING, Shaye.'
Shaye jumped to her feet and backed away from Valerian as if he were poison. He still sat on the pillows, watching her, a smile curling the edges of his mouth. He didn't want to talk about his first time anymore—he wanted to give
Panic? Yes. Anticipation? Absolutely. The gleam in his eyes... the husky richness of his voice...
'I need to rebandage your arm. Blood is, uh, seeping from it.'
'After,' he said, a heady entreaty. He stood inch by agonizing inch, unfolding his big, strong body. He never removed his gaze from her. His pants were tight over his muscled legs, but even tighter over his large erection.
Her eyes widened as he stepped closer. She'd wanted him many times since meeting him. Now, faced with the inevitability of it, she was panicky. More so than usual. 'Stay where you are, okay. I need time to think about this.'
'Thinking about it has gotten us nowhere.' Stalking forward, he waved a hand toward the wall. 'You will notice that I removed all the weapons.'
Her wide gaze scanned the room. Sure enough, all the blades were missing. 'Valerian,' she said warningly.
'You simply fear what you do not know, Shaye. I realize that now.'
'Stop!' She squared her shoulders, refusing to retreat yet again.
'You are my woman, yet you issue orders and expect them to be obeyed. Perhaps I should train and treat you as a warrior, then.'
She forced out a laugh, but the sound was completely devoid of humor. 'I'm not your woman.' Yet. 'And I'm not one of your warriors. What, are you going to fight me?'
'Oh, no. I'm going to give you a command and you're going to obey. If you fail to heed the command, I will punish you.'
Her nostrils flared. 'Don't you dare threaten me.'
'Threaten? No, I merely promise.' His eyelids dipped to half-mast, giving him a slumberous, I-need-a-bed cast.
'Didn't we discuss this the very first day? I will not accept punishment, and I will not obey you.'
'Yes, you will. And you will enjoy it, I assure you.'
She stomped her foot because she knew,
'What a naughty little mind you have, moon. I meant only to lash you with my tongue. If you prefer I spank you, I will do so. You know how I love to please you.'
Evil, evil man. She shivered. 'Is that how you punish your warriors? By licking them?'
'You saw how I punish my warriors. As I refuse to hurt you, special consideration must be taken.' Another step.
Her stomach twisted. She wanted to run to him, to take what he offered. True. But too much did she dread what would happen afterward. Would he dismiss her? Would he turn his attentions to another? Would she crave more of him? Fall in love, lose herself? Make a fool of herself for him? Would he ultimately hurt her, as everyone else in her life had?
'I need time, Valerian.'
The words dripped between them along with all of her fear, all of her desires. He paused, looking tortured. Then he gave a stiff nod. He didn't want to, she saw it in his eyes, but he caved. Again. Her wish his to grant. 'If time is what you desire, time you shall have.' With barely a breath, he added, 'I am in need of a bath. You may join me, if you wish, or watch me. The choice is yours.'
'I... I choose neither.' She wasn't going to bathe with him, and she wasn't going to watch him. Water droplets would trickle down his neck, perhaps catch on his nipples before falling to the ridges of muscle on his stomach. His soap-lathered hands would glide over his strength. 'I want to go back to my room.'
'You'll watch or you'll join. This is a give-and-take between us, Shaye. I give you time, and now you must give me something in return. Choose.'
Her lashes nearly fused all the way together, leaving only a tiny line of vision.
'You do not know what you want.' He closed the rest of the gap between them, so close his chest brushed hers. Behind him, he left a trail of sand and blood. His wounds had opened. He showed not an ounce of pain, proving just how capable he truly was. A warrior, through and through.
His scent filled her nose, sexual and fierce. Heat curled from him, wrapping her in sultry coils, squeezing so tightly she had trouble dragging in her next breath. A rush of passion flooded her.
He was the kind of man women fantasized about but never actually encountered. And he continually offered himself to her, an all-you-can-eat smorgasbord of erotic delights. Whatever she could consume was hers for the taking.
How tempting it was to take...
He licked his lips and leaned toward her. Her heartbeat drummed in her ears, an eternity passing between each one.
Gathering her strength, she jerked away from him, nearly tripping on her own feet as she scrambled backward. 'No,' she said. 'No.'
A muscle ticked beneath his eyes. 'Never has a word sounded more foul,' he said between clenched teeth.
She raised her chin. 'It's all you're going to hear from me.'
'I could push you for more, Shaye. We both know I could. We both know you'd like it.'
'No,' she said again. This time it was a trembling, wispy entreaty.
Struggling with the force of his need, Valerian paused and studied Shaye. Damn this! He didn't want to force her to acknowledge her desires. He wanted her to accept them—and him—willingly.
When she'd told him she was virgin, he'd simply reacted. Blood and need had traveled through him at lightning speed. His cock had hardened painfully. The need to brand her as his woman had sung in his ears. He'd known, deep down, that she'd waited for him. He only wished he'd waited for her.
He
She didn't. And as the minutes ticked by, her resolve to resist him seemed to intensify. Finally he said, 'Yet again I find that I am unable to force you to accept what is inevitable.'
'Valerian,' she said in that shaky voice.
'Not another word, moon.'
'It's not you, okay. Well, maybe it is. A little. I just... can't, okay. I can't let myself want you. Not yet.' He looked tortured again, she thought, sad and wistful and rock hard. 'I wish I could. I do. But... ' Too many things stood in the way. The thought of letting someone so close to her was terrifying.
He stalked from the main room and into the bathing area without another word, leaving her alone. Alone with only her throbbing body, her treacherous thoughts.
Why had he left? He'd said he meant to make her choose.
She liked being alone, was content that way. And her deepest feminine instincts sensed that to make love with Valerian was to fall so deeply in love with the man that she'd give up everything for him. Even herself.
The curtain blocking her view from the bathing pool continued to rustle. The sound of falling clothing echoed,