«Thank heaven. You know, Bradley, when I heard my father talking about bringing you and Christian together I felt such a pang-and that was before-perhaps that began to make me realize how I really felt about you-«Like Emma and Mr. Knightly.»
«A pillar in the desert.»
«And I was worrying about Christian last night too-«
«No, no, Chris is a nice person and I don't even hate her any more, but she's nothing to me. You have let me out of so many cages. I'll tell you-later-in the time-that we've got.»
«Well, if it's not that, the age business doesn't matter a pin, lots of girls prefer older men. So everything's quite clear and plain. I didn't say anything to my parents last night or this morning, as I wanted to be sure you hadn't changed. But I'll tell them today-«Wait a minute! What'll you say to them?»
«That I love you and want to marry you.»
«Julian! It's impossible! Julian, I'm older than you think-«Older than the rocks among which you sit. Yes, yes, we know that!»
«It's impossible.»
«Bradley, you aren't making any sense. Why do you look like that? You do really love me, don't you? You don't just want a love affair and then goodbye?»
«No-I really love you-«Isn't that something forever?»
«Yes. Real love is about forever-and this is real love-but-«But what?»
«You said we'd move slowly and get to know each other slowly-all this has happened so fast-I'm sure you shouldn't-in any way commit yourself-«I don't mind committing myself. That won't stop us being slow and patient and all that. Anyway, we already know each other, I've known you all my life, you're my Mr. Knightly, and the age gap there-«
«Julian, I think we must keep this thing secret for a while «Why?»
» «Because you may change your mind.»
«Or because you may?»
«I won't. But you don't know me, you can't. And I'm more than old enough to be your father.»
«Do you think I care-?»
«No, but society does and you will one day. You'll see me getting older-«
«Bradley, that's soft.»
«I'd very much rather you didn't tell your parents at present.»
«All right,» she said, after a pause, drawing apart from me, kneeling there, her face suddenly childish with doubt.
The shadow between us was unbearable to me. If I was embarked upon this thing let me be embarked. I would have to trust myself completely to her sense of truth, even to her naivety, even to her inexperience, even to her foolishness. I said, «My perfect darling, you, must do whatever you feel is right to do. I leave it entirely to you. I love you absolutely and I trust you absolutely and what will be will be.»
«You think the parents won't like it?»
