something like narrow-eyed suspicion.
At last, he sat up, and she scrambled away from him. The movement made her hiss in a breath at the fresh pain, and her tears began anew. As he fastened himself back into his trousers, she swatted her skirts down. She couldn't stop her shaking, knowing he'd kept going, ignoring her cries. She'd asked him to stop at least three times, and he'd just closed his eyes, acting as though he hadn't heard her, as though he'd gone mindless. If she hadn't shoved at his hips…she shuddered.
'Again, why did you no' tell me?'
She could feel his anger growing. Yes, she should have told him, had been about to, but she'd been distracted by his chest, overwhelmed by her first feel of a man's body. With trembling hands, she pulled her cape to cover her unlaced bodice, then collected her pantalettes and gloves. 'I was going to—'
'Did you think to trap me?'
'Trap you? Wh-what are you talking a—'
''My reasons are my own,' you told me,' he interrupted. 'Your reasons had something to do with seeing my home.'
'No!'
'You picked the wrong man,aingeal ,' he sneered. 'I could no' care less if you're ruined now.'
Couldn't care less? Ruined?
'I will no' be manipulated and deceived, then reward you for it.Nothing could move me to marry you.'
Openly crying now, she whispered, 'Wasn't trying…'
'Damn it, then why did you capitulate so readily? I was having to work for you to allow akiss , and then suddenly you're surrendering your virtue in the back of a cab? After telling me you're hunting for a rich husband?'
She wiped at her tears, embarrassed by them. 'I decided to go through with this specifically because I recognized I am going to be forced to wedsomeone else .'
'What in the hell is that supposed to mean?'
'I told you I had a proposal. After meeting yet another eligible male who refused to wed, I concluded I would have to accept the offer of marriage I did receive. And before I went and married someone I don't desire, I wanted to discover what making love was like with someone I did want.'
'Then it seems that I just enjoyed something that belonged to another man.' He gave a bitter laugh. 'So you planned to trick your unwitting fiancé into thinking you were still untouched? Cuckolding him even before the ceremony?'
'For the first time in memory, I made a decision to have whatI desired.'
'Youadmit to your scheming? I canna believe I thought you were different from every other deceitful female I've met.'
'How dare you! I wasn't trying to deceive you. Is it so unbelievable that I simplywanted you?' Hurting, bewildered by what had just occurred, she whispered the truth, 'Though how I ever desired you is a mystery now.'
'But you did, and what's done is done now. You can never get it back, no matter how ill-considered the giving—or, God help you, the recipient—was.' He untied his mask and tossed it to the floor, then sat motionless, only giving her one side of his face. In the shadow, she could see his profile was strong and bold. The beast who'd just taken her was, on the surface, a beautiful man. He didn't say a word to her and wouldn't face her, seeming to wrestle with a decision.
'Avail yourself of the carriage,' he finally said in a dismissive tone, tossing cash on the bench between them.
At his words, she froze. This couldn't be happening. She'd guarded her virtue for years, defended it jealously, and then in a wild, reckless moment, she'd thrown it away on this animal, this oaf.
And received nothing but searing pain and humiliation in return.
Her vaunted instincts had served her ill.
He pounded his fist against the roof. When the carriage stopped, he turned to her slightly. 'I'll be gone for a week or two. But afterward, I will return for you to decide what's to be done with you.'
Her jaw slackened. 'What's to be done with me?' How did he think to find her? She still wore her mask and hadn't revealed her name. And she would make sure she was long gone from London by the time he returned. The idea that she never had to see him again helped her temporarily stem her tears.
The count would've been a better lover than the Scot. He couldn't have been worse. She would run back to Le Daex eagerly—gratefully.
As if he read her mind, the Scot said, 'And,aingeal , doona think of marrying anyone before then.'
At that, he stepped out. Before he slammed the door, she could have sworn she heard him say, 'Or I'll make you a widow.'
Chapter Seven
As Ethan rode for home, his mind was a knot of conflicting ideas. All of them involving the girl.
He'd realized that by the time he finished with Grey, she could be married to the fiancé she had 'waiting in the wings.'
When asking himself why in the hell he cared—he'd always preferred married women—he could posit no credible answer. At least, none better than the fact that he wanted her at his complete disposal. If she were wed, she would be Ethan's onlyafter her husband had taken his due.
That was intolerable.
He reasoned that he felt possessive of her like this only because he had taken her virginity, claiming her as he had no other woman before. Tonight he had made her a woman, and on some primal level, he was proud that he had. Ethan didn't want another man enjoying her in between the times he did.
Yet there were only two ways he could have her exclusively—as his wife or his mistress. The former was impossible, and even that latter struck him as far too much of a commitment.
Let her fade into the past….Now was not the time to have his mind on a woman.
If Ethan wasn't cold and focused in the days to follow, he'd get himself killed.
Before Grey's affliction had twisted him, the man had possessed untouchable instincts. Even addicted to opium, Grey had been able to escape the suicide mission Edward Weyland had dispatched him on six months earlier—and from what they knew, Grey was still strong enough to exact revenge for it.
Ethan had assured Quin that Hugh could handle the threat at hand. Yet tonight, Hugh had seen Jane for the first time in years, and Ethan had noted with frustration that none of his brother's feelings for her had faded whatsoever—even after so much time had passed.
This couldn't go on. Once more, he would be forced to act….
Ethan knew his faults and reveled in them—he was selfish, callous, and coarse, and he killed easily; his only redeeming quality was that he would die for his brothers and wanted them to have some measure of happiness.
But for some reason both Hugh and Court had always wanted—needed—more. They were never satisfied to continue with less than other men could rightfully expect. It maddened Ethan to know how miserable they both were.
Just as he'd done years ago, Ethan was going to have to remind Hugh of why he couldn't have Jane, though he didn't relish the task—it would only drive a wedge deeper between him and his brother. Just as he'd done before, Ethan would use the book that shadowed his family.
When he arrived back at his home, Ethan strode directly to the study to reach theLeabhar nan Sùil- radharc , the Book of Fates. Long ago, a clan seer had predicted the fortunes of ten generations of MacCarricks and inscribed them in theLeabhar . The lines within foretold events that had all come to pass.
The tome was centuries old but well preserved, its cover producing an unearthly gleam. The only marking it had ever accepted was blood, on the last page—the one written to his father….
To the tenth Carrick:
