'Certainly.' She sat with her hands in her lap.
'First of all, there's to beno stealing . And we're to act as husband and wife, which means you will no' be flirting with any of the men as you did in the tavern,' he said with a glower. 'And doona bloody steal anything. You ken?'
She blinked at him. 'I'm getting the feeling that you don't want me to…steal?' Growing serious, she said, 'I didn'tenjoy taking things that didn't belong to me. I only did it out of necessity. Take away the necessity, and I won't steal. It's as simple as that.'
'What about the flirting?'
'Jealous, Scot?'
'No' likely. If you blatantly trifle with other men, people will wonder about our marriage.'
'Are those the only rules? Should be simple enough. How long should I say we've been married?'
'A week. This is our honeymoon.'
'Would you like me to fawn over you when we go about in public?'
'No' at all. In fact, I will no' want you underfoot. There's no reason for us to be constantly together.' At her surprised expression, he said, 'Understand, Madeleine, I've been a bachelor for many a year and a loner besides. It will irritate me if you're always around.'
Though his words hurt her feelings, she nonchalantly tapped her temple. 'Be overfoot.'
'There's more than one hundred and fifty other passengers aboard. I'm sure if you make an effort, you can befriend one of the other wives on board.'
'I'm not a wife.'
'They don't know that. So you should be able to entertain yourself during the days—all day.'
'I shall endeavor to make friends and stay busy—and out of your way.'
'But I'll expect you back in the cabin when the sun goes down.'
'Very well. You've made my instructions clear.' She rose, kissed him on the cheek, then collected her reticule.
'So you're going?'
'Of course,' she said, her tone sunny. 'Have a wonderful day, Ethan.'
The baffled look on his face before she walked out was priceless. Had he expected her to fight for the right to be near him? She couldn't force him to want to spend more time with her. That just had to come.
Besides, Maddy well understood what it was like to be saddled with someone she'd rather not be around. Her own mother had had a cloying personality, and her neediness had always made Maddy crazed. Maddy would be deuced if she'd behave the same way.Distant, aloof. That's what she would be like.
Out on deck, Maddy discovered that theBlue Riband was one of the finest ships she'd ever seen. It was a sleek steamer with full sail rigging—and no paddle wheels above the waterline. She'd have to ask Ethan about that. If she hadn't seen the two smokestacks, she would have sworn they were on a sailboat.
Though they weren't to get under way until the high tide tonight, the ship already appeared full. Couples strolled a marked promenade; game tables were set up on board, with special holders for the playing cards so they wouldn't blow away. Nannies chased children across decks that gleamed in the bright sun.
The activity helped distract her from her wounded feelings, and now that she had the luxury of a day at leisure, she would enjoy it. She would lie on a chaise and have someone fetch her tea while she reveled in the fact that her boots didn't hurt her.The life!
The wind blew up, whipping the stiff fabric of her dress, and the crisp sound pleased her. After a quick scan of the decks, Maddy determined that her dress was finer than any she could see on the other women.
A group of seated young wives took her measure—they reminded Maddy of the boulangerie women, but these were richer. Maddy subtly raised her chin, but only so she could incline her head to them when she passed, as if she were royalty.
They all had jewelry—pearl earrings, chokers, and diamond brooches. Maddy's ears and neck felt bare. But it didn't matter, because she could brazen out the situation, fabricate reasons why she had none.
L'audace fait les reines. Audacity makes queens.
By the time the ship made port, she'd have convinced the 'other' young wives that she yearned to wear all her many, many jewels, but she was a helpless slave to fashion—and this year Paris fashion dictated wearing no jewelry—except,naturellement , when dining at court.
Chapter Twenty-eight
'Madeleine, damn it,' Ethan yelled, 'I said to wake up!'
Maddy shot up in bed, sucking in a ragged breath. Her cheeks were wet, and the sheets were twisted. She stared dumbly into the darkness, tears continuing to fall.
He lit a lantern, then hastened back to the bed with his brows drawn. He awkwardly patted her shoulder, then removed his hand. 'Uh, there, now. You should…you need tae stop cryin'. Directly.' He looked as if he was bewildered by her tears. 'Why did you have a nightmare? Is it because you're away from your home?'
'No, I often have them,' she answered in a whisper. This was so mortifying. They'd had such a nice night once they'd met back at the cabin—dinner, then kissing, then touching. But now…
Maddy hadn't wanted him to see her nightmares, not yet at least.
She remembered an issue ofGodey's Lady's Book she'd read. An entire article had addressed how prospective grooms were attracted to radiant, carefree women.'Brides from happy families make happy families!' Godey's had declared.
Ethan had just witnessed an example of how carefree shewasn't .
'Do you want to tell me what you dreamed?' he asked.
Even if she wanted to, she didn't think she was ready to tell him the details of her nightmares—or of her troubling fear that she might somehow turn out to be a bad mother, like her own. When she shook her head in answer, he appeared relieved. To his credit, he still offered, 'Uh, maybe tomorrow, then?'
'Maybe,' she sniffled, then pointed at the lantern. 'C-can we leave that lit?' When he frowned at her, she quickly added, 'Unless they charge for oil?'
'We'll make it like daylight in here, if you care to.'
'I've always wondered—why would you ever be in the dark if you can afford not to be?' Dashing the last of her tears away, she asked, 'Do you ever have nightmares, Ethan?'
'I used to. But no longer.'
'Truly?' she asked, surprised he admitted to them. 'How did you get rid of them?'
'I took care of what was bothering me.' At her questioning look, he said, 'I doona let wrongs go unanswered. Someone had given me pain'—his expression grew so harsh it made her chilled—'and then I gave it back.'
Making an effortnot to cheat, Maddy acted as dealer for a game ofvingt-et-un among her new coterie of young matrons. Already she'd collected a group of them who thought her royally rich and her style fabulously avant-garde—so much so that they refrained from wearing jewelry because she did.
Ethan had seemed astonished that she'd made not merelyone friend but a baker's dozen of them. Her new acquaintances helped keep her busy each day while she stayed away from him.
So he could read agricultural journals in the stuffy club room.
After a mere four days of being engaged to him, Maddy now found herselfmissing him. But ever since she'd had that nightmare, he'd been even more standoffish. Hour after hour, Maddy had played cards and dice and listened as the women talked of their husbands and children, so she could stay away until sundown.
Of all the coterie, Maddy liked Owena Dekindeeren best. She was a no-nonsense young Welshwoman, who'd married a Belgian businessman. Though only twenty, Owena already had two children.
Lost in thought, Maddy almost didn't hear her say, 'We can't all be so lucky as Madeleine with her attentive husband.'
Maddy slowed her shuffling and frowned. 'What do you mean?'
'At first I thought your husband was monitoring your gambling, like my Neville does with me,' Owena said.
