side. As if I wouldn't find out. You wouldn't do that to a girl, would you, Skeeve?'
'Uh, no ... '
'Of course not,' Tananda said. 'For better or worse, he's one of the most honest guys I know.'
'Honest is not always so good,' said the hefty Deveel woman. 'Who wants to know, really, if their hips look big in something? But you should put in that book of yours to be tactful. Tactful gets you more points than honest half the time. But if you're not fundamentally honest, you lose, guy. Do you know the difference?' 'Uh ...'
Instead of opening my mouth, I started to look around for something to write on. Other women chimed in from around the bar.
'Open doors. Help us get a heavy package up the stairs. But if we say no, we mean it. Don't force the issue. That's insulting. Our magik's as good as yours.'
'Do a little favor for her and don't expect a favor in return.'
'Don't be in such a hurry! Trust takes time.'
'Maybe she is looking for the same thing you are, but let her tell you.'
'Just be nice. That means more than all the presents in the world.'
Before long, I had a hundred suggestions for my imaginary book. I was going to have so much information and opinions that maybe I should have thought about writing one. It was kind of embarrassing to listen to them shooting the breeze back and forth, making unflattering statements about bad dates. The notion that I might have been one of those thoughtless men made me feel awful. I surely was guilty of at least a few of the mistakes they discussed. My biggest night out was still a blur in my head. I couldn't recall all of my date with Cassandra. At least I hadn't been cheap—in fact, I had been wildly profligate, as my bill from the credit card had shown. And while my advances had gone farther than they might have if I had been sober, they hadn't been completely unwanted, if the note she had left on my mirror in lipstick was an indication.
'Does any of this help?' Bunny asked at a lull in the conversation.
'No,' I admitted. 'I think I'm more confused than before.'
She smiled at me. 'You'll get it. Really. Relationships between men and women are as natural as the birds and the bees. Otherwise, why would there be so many people?'
I had no answer to that. I stuck my nose in my wine cup to think. Why hadn't Aahz put in his two copper pieces? He was always free with advice.
I glanced around and spotted him next to the bar counter. Aahz and the tavern owner had their heads close together in conversation. I was afraid it was something about the mishap, but it looked more like a friendly chat. Aahz was grinning widely. Out of his pocket, he whipped a contract, pointing to various clauses. While I had been listening to dating advice, he had managed to convince a Deveel to buy a stone, sight unseen.
But, no. Lucanzi took down some information on a napkin and stuffed it into the pocket of his apron. Aahz caught my eye and gave me a thumb's up. Another prospect. No question about it: Aahz was good at selling. He was motivated. Before I knew it, he would have sold all million slabs, ensuring his name at the top of Phase Two. I was impressed.
'Psst! Hey, Boss!'
'Do what I say, not what I do.'
I was pulled out of my reverie. Guido and Nunzio stood flanking me. At my nod, they sat down on the bench on either side of me. I took a quick look at the others. They were still debating appropriate behavior on dates. 'What's up, fellows?' I asked.
'You get any more insight into that other matter which we was discussin' the last time we met?' Guido asked, tilting his head toward Aahz.
I shook my head. 'Nothing concrete. Whatever's bothering him isn't his stomach, and he doesn't show any signs of weakness. He must have hiked up and down both pyramids five or six times each today, not to mention taking a swim through a floating office building.'
'He doesn't seem under the weather,' Nunzio agreed. 'In fact, he looks to be in robust health.'
'Miss Bunny did a little checking around with Bytina,' Guido whispered, keeping his lips rigid. 'She inquired of Dr. Webb, but he had not had any questions from anyone resemblin' Aahz who might have been usin' an alias.'
I nodded. Dr. Webb was an M.D. from Octaroo who dispensed general medical information for free. Aahz wouldn't pay for advice if he could help it.
'Perhaps it wasn't his health he's worried about,' I said. 'Maybe a prophet predicted doom for him. Maybe a fatal accident or something like that? We've had a lot of mishaps on the site.'
'You go on keepin' an eye on him,' Guido advised. 'We will keep our ears to the ground and other places. While Aahz may not be my favorite person in the world as he is to you, he is still a partner and a trusted accomplice. I will help to protect him if it is in my power to do so.'
'Agreed,' Nunzio said.
'Hey, what are all you lovely ladies talking about?' Aahz asked, strutting back to the table. Instead of sitting down at our table, he scooted in next to Felina.
'Oh, the differences between men and women,' she said.
'So, what are the differences?' Aahz asked. 'Anything special I should know about?'
'If you don't know by your age, you are never going to know!' the stout woman shouted. The others in the bar laughed.
'I'm always willing to take instruction from a smart lady like this one,' Aahz said, smirking. 'What are you drinking?'
'Rabbit tail,' Felina said. It was a mildly intoxicating cocktail. It had a chocolate flavor, which I liked, but the kick at the end always came as a surprise.
'You know what they say about rabbits,' Aahz said, after signaling the barmaid for the order.
'No,' Felina said, with a smile. 'What?'
Aahz leaned over and whispered into her pointed ear. She let out a peal of laughter and pushed him playfully with one hand. Aahz paid for their drinks and let his arm drift around her shoulders. She didn't seem to mind.
'I'd swear that there's nothing wrong with him,' I said, watching carefully without, I hoped, making it too obvious.
'But you gotta admit,' Guido said, 'he's not actin' normal for his usual Pervish self. I never heard him give credit like that without he had been pushed from behind.'
'I concur, cousin,' Nunzio agreed, taking a swig of beer.
'Get your hand off our little sister!'
I looked around. Before I could rise, Guido and Nunzio were out of their seats with their hands stuck into the folds of their natty jackets. Aahz was also on his feet, facing eight Deveel males. The family resemblance among them was very strong, so I guessed they were brothers. Brothers, I realized with a gulp, to the lady who had until that moment, been sitting in the shelter of Aahz's arm.
'Now, gentlemen,' Aahz said, with his most ingratiating smile. 'I was just keeping her company until you got here.'
'Keeping her company! I saw you whispering in her ear!' said a middle-sized brother with goggly eyes.
'What was he talking to you about?' asked the meanest looking Deveel.
'Nothing. He asked me if I knew what they said about rabbits,' Felina said, tossing her head.
'He asked what?' The biggest brother stepped up and grabbed Aahz by the front of his shirt.
'Now, fellows, don't make something out of nothing,' I said. 'Come and have a drink with us.'
'You think we're going to sit down with a Pervert who is whispering dirty secrets to our sister?' demanded
