He straightened the dishrag and moved it a few centimetres out on the tap.
She took a gulp from the bottle.
‘If you don’t mind, I just can’t talk about it.’
She had no obligations to him. No duty to share anything with him. On the contrary. If she told him, the free zone she had found would be eradicated, he would join the jury and judge her.
Linda in intensive care. If she pulls through we’re going to ask her to keep working here.
If she pulls through.
She took another drink, looking for respite in intoxication.
He stood completely still with his back to her. Then he suddenly turned around.
‘You can take a bath if you like.’
She didn’t answer, but felt her suspicions awaken at once.
He put down the bottle on the table.
‘You don’t have to be afraid. I’ll run the bath for you and sit out here and relax. I think it would be nice for you to take a bath; you of all people certainly deserve to rest a little.’
Then he was gone, and she heard the sound of running water.
She had no intention of taking off her clothes in the flat, but in the bathroom she could lock herself in and then she wouldn’t have to answer any questions. Wouldn’t have to talk at all. And she’d have a chance to think. Maybe she could ring Sara or Gerd at work and ask if she could stay overnight, figure out some plausible explanation.
His voice from the bathroom and then suddenly the familiar aroma.
‘I’ve bought new bubble bath too. Eucalyptus.’
The same that she had in her bathroom at home. Which was a present from Axel. She took it as a sign, gave up struggling and allowed herself to relax.
He had good intentions.
And that’s what she needed right now.
She took the last gulp from the bottle and heard the water turned off in the bathtub. Then he appeared in the doorway.
‘Your bath is ready.’
He smiled and gestured towards the bathroom, but noticed that her bottle was empty. At once he was at the refrigerator to fetch a new one. She stood up, and he made a move to touch her forearm to lead her once again, but he caught himself and withdrew. Perhaps out of consideration, perhaps he wanted to show that she was safe, that he had no ulterior motives.
She took the new bottle and went into the hall towards the open bathroom door. The bathtub was filled to the brim and the white bubbles were crackling invitingly. Her mood was improving. She could use a little rest.
‘Here’s a towel for you.’
He handed her a light-blue bath towel. Carefully folded, edge to edge, to the last centimetre. She took it and put it on the toilet seat. The towel reluctantly unfolded but the creases left deep traces in the terrycloth. She turned to him. He was standing in the doorway. She made no move to start undressing, and he clearly understood her unspoken demand.
‘Enjoy yourself now, and don’t hurry. Take all the time you want.’
‘Thank you.’
He backed out and pulled the door shut; she turned the lock until the white half-moon turned to red. Then she slowly took off her clothes and sank down through the foam with the bottle on the edge of the tub. A calm began to spread over her. The cider had done its job.
It was Nacka that was the problem. She had to get away. She could already sense how she felt free having left the boundaries of the town. Here she could breathe again. She could think clearly enough to realise that even if she had done wrong, the guilt was not hers alone. There was a reason for her actions. What if they sold the house and she moved into the city, let Axel start at a new pre-school where no one knew them?
She took another gulp.
Things would work out. There was still a future.
‘Is the bath nice?’
His voice just outside the door.
‘Yes, it is. Thanks.’
Just when she thought he had left, he said something else. He sounded even closer now, as if his mouth were right next to the crack in the door.
‘I don’t mean you any harm, on the contrary. You know that, don’t you?’
A pang of uneasiness in the midst of the soothing bath foam.
‘Yes.’
‘Good.’
She had just settled back again and closed her eyes when she heard the sound. She turned her head and saw the red half-moon turn until it was white, and the next moment he was standing in the open doorway. She sank down as deep as she could to cover herself with the bubbles.
‘I would like to be left in peace in here, please.’
He smiled at her.
‘You are at peace in here.’
He picked up the bath towel and placed it on his lap as he sat down on the toilet seat.
‘I mean alone.’
He smiled again, sadly this time, as if she didn’t know what was good for her.
‘Haven’t you been alone long enough?’
She suddenly felt afraid. Wanted to get up and leave the flat. But not as long as he could see her.
‘Why do you look so scared? I already know how beautiful you are. You’ve already showed me once, and how could I ever forget?’
‘I said that we were just going to drink a pear cider.’
‘That’s right. And now we’ve drunk two of them. And you can have just as many as you like. I bought them for you.’
There was nothing threatening about him, he radiated nothing but genuine goodwill. And yet there was something that told her she ought to get out of here, get away as fast as she could.
‘Wait a minute and I’ll give you something beautiful to wear after you’re done with your bath.’
He stood up.
‘That’s not necessary, I’ll wear my own clothes.’
‘You’re worth something more beautiful than those.’
He snatched up her clothes and took the bath towel with him as he vanished into the hall. As quickly as she could, she got up and grabbed the guest hand towel. She had to get out of here. The bath foam slid around on her skin as if the hand towel were waterproof.
Then he was back in the doorway.
She tried to hide herself as best she could.
He stopped in mid-stride and stood there quite still. As if he had forgotten she was in there and now he saw her for the first time. Embarrassed, he lowered his eyes when he saw her nakedness.
‘Excuse me.’
‘Give me the towel.’
With infinite slowness his gaze moved closer and closer. Along the floor and across the bath mat, then up the bathtub, across tile after tile his eyes made their way towards her. When they reached her naked body which she was so desperately trying to hide behind the tiny towel, she saw undisguised admiration in his face. A gasp when his eyes reached her thighs and slowly swept across the towel to meet the skin again above her breasts.
‘God, how beautiful you are.’
His voice was shaking.
‘Give me the towel!’
Her sharp words jolted his gaze away and he again stared down at the floor. Then he put something down on the toilet seat, backed out and closed the door behind him.
