Carefully review the eye chart on the next page. The vehicle pictured should be approached with extreme caution.
One-Brain Vehicles
Single-brained vehicles are quick and small, making them difficult to catch. Many of them, including ATVs, dirt bikes, and big, red three-wheelers, are designed to handle all types of terrain. While they are superior in maneuverability, they are zed-vulnerable due to their open-cockpit design. Because the riders are exposed, they can easily be snared by a quick grab or projectile vomiting to the face. Sometimes you don’t even need to touch them —use basic scare tactics to distract riders into losing their balance or control, causing them to crash.
Due to the sizes of these vehicles, hitchhiking is not possible.
6. ATTACKING
Using the hunting strategies in the previous chapters, you’ll be able to successfully track down your brainy target. What next? In order to subdue a living body for feasting, you need another plan of action.
Although only a small percentage of the living are prepared for living-on-undead combat, and most will ultimately fall before the zombie horde, that doesn’t mean a battle can’t be dangerous for you, the individual zombie. Humans possess an intense survival instinct, and when panic boosts their adrenaline, they’re capable of desperate feats of strength that can catch even the hardiest zombie off guard. Being slightly more coordinated than you, humans may wield makeshift weaponry and employ nontraditional fighting strategies—expect them to shoot at you, burn you, and impale you with pointy sticks.
Nevertheless, when most zombies attack a human, they prefer to whale away blindly, disregarding any physical damage their target inflicts on them in return. From past zombie experiences, we’ve realized this probably isn’t the best approach. Since our undead bodies don’t heal from injury, self-preservation is very important.
Yes, the undead instinct is always “Bite first, ask questions later,” but if you aren’t careful, that strategy can lead to your demise. Mastering a few simple self-defense strategies, including “weapons of the body,” will not only surprise the humans but also possibly impress your fellow zeds.
Holding Techniques
You’ve worked hard to find your prey, so you’d hate to lose it! The most basic attack strategy is holding a victim against his or her will. A properly executed hold will give you the opportunity to employ the other nasty strategies found in this chapter. Briefly study this illustration of the four most effective holds: the Hair Hold, the Bite Hold, the Arm Hold, and the Leg Hold.
Use Your Body as a Weapon
Your body is bursting with all types of bloodthirsty weaponry that can be used against the living. And remember: your flesh and blood are highly infectious. Once your victim is infected with the z-virus, he or she will begin to experience all types of nasty symptoms, weakening resistance and making it easier for you to gorge out. You can increase the likelihood of viral transference by biting, scratching, spitting, bleeding, and/or vomiting on your target.
The following diagram illustrates the deadliest weapons in your personal arsenal.
Your bite is mightier than your moan! Using your teeth, bite down on your victim’s flesh, hard enough to tear through the skin. This will cause direct fluid-to-fluid contact. If you are a severely decomposed zombie, you may have experienced tooth loss. Your rotten gums may not break the skin’s surface, making your mouth a less effective weapon.
Heaving toxic fluid from your stomach allows the possibility of attack at a distance. It can weaken your victim through infection, disorientation, or disgust, and can also cause temporary blindness. One out of four zombies is capable of projectile vomiting to a distance of six to seven feet.
At the ends of your fingers are fingernails, made up of a tough protein called keratin. These popular zombie weapons, randomly sharpened by breaks and chips, can easily pierce your victim’s soft skin. When attacking for the kill, the more lacerations the more blood loss.
You should concentrate on clawing around your prey’s neck. If you cut the jugular vein, it can lead to fatal hemorrhaging. Clawing the victim’s head can also impair his or her vision, and possibly cause a concussion.
Enjoy your fingernails while you still can; eventually you will lose them due to severe decomposition.
Zed Melee Weapons
Along with their biological weapons (their bodies), certain zombies are capable of using primitive external weapons. If chimpanzees can, why can’t zeds?
Most advanced weapons require study and training to use. In other words, they’re too complicated for a zed. However, melee weapons, designed for close combat, can be effective without any technical know-how, just random arm motions.
A blunt weapon is an edgeless, rounded, or unsharpened object used to inflict blunt force trauma. Clubs, pipes, logs, and severed body parts are all classified as blunt weapons. Tightly grab one of these items and haphazardly swing it around. Amputated appendages can be used to harm your victim psychologically as well as physically.
An edged weapon has two ends, the edge and the handle. If you carelessly handle the wrong end, you could lose a finger. Grab onto the non-shiny part before operating. These weapons usually require some training, but your abnormal shuffling and twitching will make it difficult for your victim to avoid being lacerated.
