You can quickly turn an ordinary object into a dangerous projectile by tossing it through the air, a technique best used during a siege. Glass fortifications can sometimes be demolished by chucking living and nonliving objects into them.
But now the bad news: 7 out of 10 zombies are incapable of throwing an object, and of the 3 who can, only 1 can hit its intended target.
Defensive Strategies
Past attempts at initiating a zombie apocalypse have always failed miserably. We know now that one of our biggest blunders has been our lack of defensive strategies. A zombie never retreats, only attacks—but better to attack in a way that limits the possibility of cranial injury and re-death. By studying thousands of failed engagements between humans and long-gone zeds, we have identified some of the most common attacks scenarios implemented by the living, and learned how to most effectively counter them.
Most humans are predictable—they usually go for your head. They have crafted all types of weapons to do this, but most often they rely on firearms. In certain situations, they may resort to fire or melee weapons instead, and either of these weapons can also cause cranial damage.
Review the following defensive strategies for the most common human attacks, and with a little luck you will avoid the embarrassing fate of our zombie forebears. Need more motivation? It’s quite possible these trigger-happy humans used to be your buddies! Such behavior from an ex is understandable, but family and friends—what gives?
Avoiding the Bullet
Head shots are a bitch! A bullet targeted to the brain will cause almost certain death. Slow as you are, it is highly unlikely you can avoid a bullet traveling as fast as four thousand feet per second. Your best protection is avoiding gunfire altogether.
Of course, that isn’t always possible. If they can, the living will certainly stockpile sufficient firepower to protect themselves and possibly hunt you down. Fortunately, as mentioned earlier (see “Terrible with Weapons,” page 35), most humans are not trained marksmen and will unload rounds wildly, desperately trying to land a lucky shot between your eyes. These cowboy antics are as likely to hit other humans as they are you. Unfortunately, other breathers are trained snipers, waiting for a trophy zombie to kill. Until you have a chance to observe the shooter’s technique, it will be very difficult to know the skill level of the target you are about to engage.
When being fired upon, you must avoid shots in both the Kill Box and the Deadly Triangle areas. A shot to the Kill Box is 99.9 percent fatal. Trained marksmen also aim at the Deadly Triangle, which if hit will result in an undead fatality. Head areas outside these kill zones are capable of absorbing minor blows without lasting effect, though if strong enough the hits could cause unconsciousness for 1 to 10 minutes. Severe damage to the upper spinal cord, the brain stem area, could also result in termination.
In short, guns are bad news. If you see a human holding one of the firearms depicted here, implement one of the following bullet-avoidance attack strategies. Remember, even after being bitten, your victim still is capable of firing a weapon, so once you’ve employed a maneuver it is important to disarm (or remove the arm of) the shooter to avoid a scuffle shot.
The Diamond Attack, also called the Zombie Wedge, is used to move directly and quickly toward an armed human. If a Diamond Attack maneuver succeeds, the human target will only have time to take down the lead zombies posing the most imminent danger before the distance between the two forces closes and the remaining zombie in the rear can quickly overtake its target.
For obvious reasons, the ideal role in this maneuver is to be the zombie in the back. Once you reach your victim, engage in biting combat. Results may vary with the number of human targets, ammunition supply, and firing accuracy.
A swarm attack, better known as Flanking Zeds, is a tactical maneuver used by a horde during a frontal attack. In it, zeds attack their target from several directions. Swarming from different positions, they force their enemy to defend two or three sides at once, overwhelming him or her.
Employing Flanking Zeds also reduces the maneuverability of the living and reduces the chance that a similar flanking tactic could be used against the horde. With both a physical and psychological advantage, victory is possible.
With the Zombie Shield, you protect your own body by using another corpse to absorb bullets fired at you. Snatch up a lifeless “volunteer” and position him or her directly between you and the living human’s weapon. Hold tightly to your protective armor until you’ve closed the distance between you and the shooter. Once you’re within striking distance, throw the body at your prey while you lunge mouth-first at him or her.
The Zedcoy maneuver is designed to distract the living while a hidden zombie party executes a surprise attack. The decoy zombie captures the attention of your target by screaming, vomiting, charging, or throwing something. While the zedcoy begins absorbing shots, a second group attacks from behind.
This strategy may sound simple, but with all our random moaning and clumsiness, it’s unlikely that the second group will be able to approach the victim in complete silence. The louder and more threatening the zedcoy, the better. A fast zedcoy also increases the chances of success, as it reduces the shooter’s opportunity for successful head shots.
Attacking from every direction simultaneously will overwhelm your victim with potential targets while reducing his or her maneuverability. Tactically, it sounds ideal, but with the human firing at random zeds, it could quickly turn into an unfriendly game of Russian Roulette. Ensure that the shooter is a poor shot before proceeding.
This tactic has also been given the name Snack Attack, because with so many zombies, each attacker’s portion of human flesh will be small (see “The Zombie Code,” page 143). Everyone will have their dirty little fingers in your dirty little human pie.
Zombies away! An Aerial Fall will be completely unexpected by any mortal playing cowboy in the streets beneath a high-rise. In order to gain the tactical advantage of height, you will first have to master the obstacle of stairs (see “Obstacles You Will Face,” page 59). Climb up a story or two (any higher and you risk a fatal fall), and wait until your victim is directly below you. Then quietly plummet to the ground and squash your prey.
The impact should severely injure your target, or at least disorient him. After that, inject your teeth into your
