“Do you think Nadine will use this to get custody of Jacob?”
“I don’t know,” I said. I picked up the book and dropped it back in the gift bag. “But now that you’ve raised that possibility, I know that we can’t destroy this. Nadine has a right to use it.”
“It’s a powerful weapon,” Mieka said.
“It is,” I agreed. “And if Nadine uses it, there will be collateral damage. She might get custody of Jacob, but he’ll have to live with some very painful knowledge. So will the Wainbergs.”
“Do you think that’s where Nadine went when she left here?”
I narrowed my eyes at my daughter. “You seem to have developed a knack for raising the worst possibilities. But as Zack says, ‘It’s better to know than not know.’ ” I took out my cell and thumbed my address book till I found Nadine’s number.
The phone rang repeatedly without a response, and I was about to end the call when she answered.
“I’d just about given up,” I said. “It’s Joanne. Where are you?”
Her voice was mechanical. “On the corner, just down the street from UpSlideDown – waiting for a taxi to come by.”
“There won’t be one,” I said, “it’s a busy time of year. Come inside. I’ll drive you wherever you want to go.”
Nadine came back through the door a couple of minutes later. She was wearing the smart outfit she’d been wearing the day she arrived in Regina, but the pea jacket was unbuttoned; the black cloche was stuck carelessly in her pocket, and her scarf hung around her neck, unknotted and askew. She was pale and she was shaking either from cold or shock or both. The deadness in her eyes scared me. “Did you see Jacob’s baby book?” she asked.
“I did,” I said. “Nadine, I’m so sorry. I can only imagine what you’re going through.”
Mieka noticed Nadine’s pallor. “Sit down,” she said. “I’m going to bring you some tea with lots of sugar. That’ll help.”
We found a table near the door. A mother with three very young boys was sitting on a bench next to us, attempting to get her children into boots and snowsuits. The boys, determined to stay and play, kept running off on her. When one of the boys ran past me the mother shot me a beseeching look. “Could you…?” I reached out and touched the boy’s arm. “Who’s that on your boot?”
“SpongeBob SquarePants,” he said.
“Could you hold still so I could see him?” I said.
The boy held up his foot. “Is he your favourite?” I asked. While the boy told me about SpongeBob, his mother zipped his brothers into their snowsuits and readied them for the trip home. When she took her son from me, she smiled at Nadine and me. “Thanks,” she said. “I hope you both have a very merry Christmas.”
“I’m sure you will,” Nadine said. We watched as the mother shepherded her boys through the door and turned to give us a final wave. Mieka came back with the tea, and as Nadine drank it, the colour returned to her cheeks. When she was finished, she stood, buttoned her jacket, tied her scarf, and pulled on her hat. She was calm again; she was also very determined.
My mind raced as we walked to the car. I was certain that Nadine would ask me to drive her to the Wainbergs’. I couldn’t refuse, but if I could convince her to wait until the morning to talk to Delia, there was a chance she’d arrive at the same conclusion I had: the price of revealing the identity of Jacob’s father was simply too high.
When we had snapped on our seat belts, I turned the key in the ignition, but I didn’t pull into traffic. I turned to Nadine, prepared to present my argument, but she beat me to the punch. “I’d like you to take me to Theo Brokaw,” she said. “If you don’t know the address, I’m sure Delia Wainberg will have it.”
I was reeling. “I know the address,” I said. “But taking you there is pointless. Theo had a serious fall on the Labour Day weekend. He suffered a brain injury that’s resulted in something like advanced Alzheimer’s. You won’t be able to make him understand what’s happened.”
“I’ll make him understand,” Nadine said fiercely. “I’ll make him understand that he’s a monster.”
“No one can justify what Theo did,” I said. “But Delia says that he didn’t know Abby was his child, and I believe her. Delia was in love with Theo, but he was married and their relationship ended.” I took a breath. “His wife says that there were many other women over the years and all of them bore a marked resemblance to Delia.”
“So he was drawn to Abby because she was his
I touched her arm. “Nadine, don’t speculate about what went on between Abby and Theo. It will tear you apart.”
“I’m already torn apart. I’ve never believed I was capable of hating another human being. But I would kill Theo Brokaw without a second’s hesitation.”
“Given his present state, that would be a kindness,” I said.
Nadine’s laugh was bitter. “In that case, he gets to live. I still want to see him, Joanne. He committed incest. He destroyed the life of the woman I loved. Even if he doesn’t understand my words, I need to make him feel the horror of what he’s done.”
“All right,” I said. “I’ll take you to him.”
I’d just started to pull out of my parking spot when my cell rang. The ringtone was a new one but it was instantly recognizable: Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing.” Zack had been playing with the ringtone that morning. His intent had been to make me smile, but his timing could not have been worse.
When Zack heard my voice, he was playful. “Like the new ringtone? It carries a message.”
“I picked up on that,” I said. “You must be feeling better.”
“I am. When are you going to be home, Ms. Shreve?”
“Half an hour at the outside,” I said.
“Would a martini be in order?”
“God, yes.”
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you, too.” I rang off. When I turned to Nadine, I saw that she had tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” I said.
“No need to apologize for loving and being loved,” she said, and then turned away.
We didn’t speak again until I turned into the parking space behind the Brokaws’ condo. Louise’s Mercedes was there. When I pulled the key from the ignition, Nadine seemed surprised. “You’re not coming in with me, are you?”
“I don’t like the idea of you being alone with the Brokaws.”
Nadine gave me a quarter-smile. “Neither do I,” she said.
Myra answered my buzz from the lobby, but when I announced myself she was curt. “We’re not receiving visitors.”
“If you want to keep Theo’s incestuous relationship with Abby from becoming public knowledge, you’d be wise to let me come up. I’m not alone, Myra. Abby Michaels’s partner is with me.”
The entrance door clicked open. Nadine and I rode up in the tiny elevator. When we stepped out, we could hear Louise playing Bach. She was hitting the right notes in the right order. Once, when she stumbled, she went back and began the phrase again. We were hearing Louise, not a recording. She was still sober. One small candle in the darkness.
Nadine stood for a moment with her eyes closed, listening intently. “There’s still beauty in the world, isn’t there?” she said softly. The she squared her shoulders and breathed deeply. “I have to do this, Joanne. Thank you for understanding.”
Myra opened her door as soon as I knocked, but she didn’t invite us in, so I stepped past her. Nadine followed. “We won’t stay long, Myra,” I said. “This is Nadine Perrault. She was Abby’s partner.”
Myra’s laugh was forced and unpleasant. “That’s a new wrinkle. The last of my husband’s clever girls preferred other clever girls.”
Nadine tensed. I touched her arm. “Nadine wants to see Jacob’s father,” I said. “It’s important to her, and it won’t matter to Theo.”
“You don’t know a damn thing about what matters to Theo,” Myra hissed. Then she slapped my cheek in a movement as vicious as it was sudden. “Get out,” she said.
My face was stinging, but I stood my ground. When people behave badly, they want the encounter to end quickly, and I wasn’t about to cede that advantage to Myra Brokaw. The quarrel with her was too significant to lose.
