Mrs Pargeter 01; A Nice Class of Corpse

her affairs.”

“How do you do?” Mrs Pargeter proffered a plump hand, which was shaken without enthusiasm.

“Shall we all sit down?” suggested Miss Naismith.

They sat, and she looked at Mr Holland to begin the proceedings.

“The fact is, Mrs Pargeter, that, as Miss Naismith said, I have, since the death of her husband – incidentally, her last surviving relative – handled Mrs Selsby’s affairs. As soon as I could after hearing the sad news of her…er, passing-on…” (Mrs Pargeter had the feeling that this was not the expression he would instinctively have used. Maybe Miss Naismith had already rapped him over the knuckles that morning for insufficient delicacy.) “…I came down here to make suitable arrangements. Now I believe that you have only recently moved into the hotel…”

“That’s right.”

“…but perhaps you are aware that Mrs Selsby was the owner of a considerable amount of jewellery.”

“I had heard that, yes.”

“Now, unwisely, and against my advice, Mrs Selsby was in the habit of leaving this valuable jewellery around her hotel room.”

“Against my advice, too,” Miss Naismith righteously interposed. “I constantly recommended her to put such valuables in the hotel safe. As Lady Ridgleigh does with her extensive collection of jewellery. But Mrs Selsby wouldn’t hear of it. ‘No,’ she would repeatedly say. ‘I like to have it near me, where I can look at it’.”

“Which was rather ironic, wasn’t it,” said Mrs Pargeter, “considering that her eyesight was so bad?”

“Be that as it may…” Mr Holland’s tone implied that he did not like having his monologue interrupted. “Needless to say, one of my first actions on arriving here was to check the inventory of jewellery that I knew Mrs Selsby to possess.”

“Of course.” Mrs Pargeter smiled.

“Now, I asked Miss Naismith where Mrs Selsby kept her jewellery and discovered that it was her rather careless custom to leave it in unlocked drawers of her bureau.”

Mrs Pargeter nodded. She felt confident she knew what was coming.

But she was wrong. The words that did come took her breath away as if they had been physical blows.

“Imagine my surprise then, Mrs Pargeter, when I found all of Mrs Selsby’s bureau drawers to be empty.”

Mrs Pargeter gaped.

“Needless to say, I immediately searched the rest of the room, but found nothing. Which leads me to the unpleasant conclusion that Mrs Selsby’s jewellery has been stolen.”

“Which is a very regrettable word for me to hear used in this establishment,” said Miss Naismith. “There have never been any thefts here before, and an uncharitable enquiry into the incident might first ask the question…who is the most recent arrival in the hotel?”

“If you are suggesting I stole the jewellery, Miss Naismith, I’d advise you to be careful. It’s not the sort of accusation that should be thrown around lightly.”

Miss Naismith was enjoying herself. “I agree. Nor would I throw it around lightly. However, when I have a witness to the fact that one of the hotel residents broke into Mrs Selsby’s locked room at half-past two last night, I feel the circumstances may be a little different.”

Mrs Pargeter did not allow herself to be rattled. “What are you saying?”

Mr Holland took over the indelicate situation. “Miss Naismith is saying that you were seen breaking into the room last night. Since she checked that the jewels were in place before locking the room yesterday morning, there can be little doubt that you stole them. Which is why, I am afraid, we will be obliged to telephone for the police.”

Mrs Pargeter still did not reveal any emotion. Nor did she make any attempt to deny her actions. “May I ask you who saw me enter Mrs Selsby’s room?”

“Mrs Mendlingham. She was on the landing.”

Miss Naismith no longer attempted to hide her triumph. On first meeting Mrs Pargeter, she had recognised that conflict between them was inevitable. But she had expected that the conflict would be a long-drawn-out campaign of attrition. To have her adversary play so quickly and clumsily into her hands was more than the proprietress of the Devereux had dared hope for.

? A Nice Class of Corpse ?

14

Mrs Pargeter folded her plump hands on her lap.

“So…you are going to call the police?”

“Yes.” On the face of someone less genteel, Miss Naismith’s expression would have been described as a leer. “Can you tell me any reason why we shouldn’t?”

“No. None at all. I’m sure, in the event of a robbery in a hotel like this, the police should definitely be informed.”

“Good. I’m glad you agree.” Miss Naismith nodded to Mr Holland, who reached towards the telephone on her desk.

“On the other hand,” Mrs Pargeter continued without raising her voice, “I think you would be very ill-advised to make the same accusation to the police as you have to me.”

Mr Holland’s hand stopped in mid-air.

“Oh. And why do you think that?” asked Miss Naismith, as usual accentuating the ‘h’ in ‘why’.

“I think it because I did not take the jewels. I don’t deny going into Mrs Selsby’s room last night. I don’t deny taking the jewels out of the bureau and looking at them. But I then put them back.”

“Well, of course you’d say that.”

“Anyway, why should you behave in the bizarre manner you describe?” asked Mr Holland, modelling himself on some severe barrister from a television court-room drama.

“That, for the moment, is my business.”

“If you aren’t prepared to explain yourself, Miss Naismith and I can hardly be blamed for placing the construction that we have on your actions. I’m afraid I do feel obliged to call the police.”

Once again his hand reached for the telephone, but once again it was frozen by Mrs Pargeter’s soft voice.

“I think you need rather more evidence for your accusation. If I did take the jewels, where do you think they are now?”

“Well, I hadn’t really considered…”

“No. According to your theory, I stole the jewels at two-thirty this morning. Now the security in this hotel is good. The burglar alarm system works with pressure pads by the doors and windows of the front of the building and contact breakers on the doors at the back.”

“How do you know that?” asked Miss Naismith, surprised.

“I make a habit of being observant,” Mrs Pargeter replied evenly. She did not say that the habit of observing security systems was another of the useful things she had learnt from the late Mr Pargeter.

“I’m not quite clear where this is getting us,” said Mr Holland in a tone of professional impatience,

“What I am saying is that it would have been impossible for me to get out of the hotel quietly until after Newth had switched off the burglar alarm this morning. And since that time, as any of the residents can confirm, I have not left the premises.”

“So?”

Mrs Pargeter sighed with exasperation. The solicitor really was being very obtuse. “So, since I haven’t left the premises, if I stole the jewels, they can’t have left the premises either.”

“Well…”

“Unless, of course, I had an accomplice…Yes, perhaps I took Newth into my confidence. He after all has the keys to the alarm system – not to mention a pass key to Mrs Selsby’s room.”

Miss Naismith coloured. “How dare you, Mrs Pargeter? I will not have such imputations made about one of my staff.”

“You seemed quite happy to make such imputations about one of your guests,” Mrs Pargeter observed