'Why do you let them. . . touch you?'
'To have changes made. The strength, the fast healing-'
He stopped in front of her, faced her. 'Is that all?' he demanded.
She stared at him, seeing the accusation in his eyes, refusing to defend herself. 'I liked it,' she said softly. 'Didn't you?'
'That thing will never touch me again if I have anything to say about it.'
She did not challenge this.
'I've never felt anything like that in my life,' he shouted.
She jumped, but said nothing.
'If a thing like that could be bottled, it would have out sold any illegal drug on the market.'
'I'm going to Awaken ten people this morning,' she said. 'Will you help?'
'You're still going to do that?'
'Yes.'
He breathed deeply. 'Let's go then.' But he did not move. He still stood watching her. 'Is it. . . like a drug?' he asked.
'You mean am I addicted?'
'Yes.'
'I don't think so. I was happy with you. I didn't want Nikanj here.'
'I don't want him here again.'
'Nikanj isn't male-and I doubt whether it really cares what either of us wants.'
'Don't let him touch you! If you have a choice, keep away from him!'
The refusal to accept Nikanj's sex frightened her because it reminded her of Paul Titus. She did not want to see Paul Titus in Joseph.
'It isn't male, Joseph.'
'What difference does that make!'
'What difference does any self-deception make? We need to know them for what they are, even if there are no human parallels-and believe me, there are none for the ooloi.' She got up, knowing that she had not given him the promise he wanted, knowing that he would remember her silence. She unsealed the doorway and left the room.
10
Ten new people.
Everyone was kept busy trying to keep them out of trouble and give them some idea of their situation. The woman Peter was helping laughed in his face and told him he was crazy when he mentioned, as he said, 'the possibility that our captors might somehow be extraterrestrials. . .'
Leah's charge, a small blond man, grabbed her, hung on, and might have raped her if he had been bigger or she smaller. She stopped him from doing any harm, but Gabriel had to help her get him off. She was surprisingly tolerant of the man's efforts. She seemed more amused than angry.
Nothing the new people did for the first few minutes was taken seriously or held against them. Leah's attacker was simply held until he stopped trying to get at her, until he grew quiet and began to look around at the many human faces, until he began to cry.
The man's name was Wray Ordway and a few days after his Awakening, he was sleeping with Leah with her full consent.
Two days after that, Peter Van Weerden and six followers seized Lilith and held her while a seventh follower, Derrick Wolski, swept a dozen or so leftover biscuits out of one of the food cabinets and climbed into it before it could close.
When Lilith realized what Derrick was doing she stopped struggling. There was no need to hurt anyone. The Oankali would take care of Derrick.
'What does he think he's going to do?' she asked Curt. He had taken part in holding her, though, of course Celene had not. He still held one of her arms.
Watching him, she shook the others off. Now that Derrick was gone from sight, they did not try hard to hold her. She knew now that if she had been willing to hurt or kill them, they could not have held her. She was not stronger than all six combined, but she was stronger than any two. And faster than any of them. The knowledge was not as comforting as it should have been.
'What's he supposed to be doing?' she repeated.
Curt released the arm she had left in his hands. 'Finding out what's really going on,' he said. 'There are people refilling those cabinets and we intend to find out who they are. We want to get a look at them before they're ready to be seen-before they're ready to convince us they're Martians.'
She sighed. He had been told that the cabinets refilled automatically. Just one more thing he had decided not to believe. 'They're not Martians,' she said.
He crooked his mouth in something less than a smile. 'I knew that. I never believed your fairy tales.'
'They're from another solar system,' she said. 'I don't know which one. It doesn't matter. They left it so long ago, they don't even know whether it still exists.'
He cursed her and turned away.
