real. Your body knows how real it was. Your interpretations were illusion. The sensations were entirely real. You can have them again-or you can have others.'
'No!'
'And all that you have, you can share with Lilith.'
Silence.
'All that she feels, she'll share with you.' It reached out and caught his hand in a coil of sensory arm. 'I won't hurt you. And I offer a oneness that your people strive for, dream of, but can't truly attain alone.'
He pulled his arm free. 'You said I could choose. I've made my choice!'
'You have, yes.' It opened his jacket with its many-fingered true hands and stripped the garment from him. When he would have backed away, it held him. It managed to lie down on the bed with him without seeming to force him down. 'You see. Your body has made a different choice.'
He struggled violently for several seconds, then stopped. 'Why are you doing this?' he demanded.
'Close your eyes.'
'What?'
'Lie here with me for a while and close your eyes.'
'What are you going to do?'
'Nothing. Close your eyes.'
'I don't believe you.'
'You're not afraid of me. Close your eyes.'
Silence.
After a long while, he closed his eyes and the two of them lay together. Joseph held his body rigid at first, but slowly, as nothing happened, he began to relax. Sometime later his breathing evened and he seemed to be asleep.
Lilith sat on the table, waiting, watching. She was patient and interested. This might be her only chance ever to watch close up as an ooloi seduced someone. She thought it should have bothered her that the 'someone' in this case was Joseph. She knew more than she wanted to about the wildly conflicting feelings he was subject to now.
Yet, in this matter, she trusted Nikanj completely. It was enjoying itself with Joseph. It would not spoil its enjoyment by hurting him or rushing him. In a perverse way, Joseph too was probably enjoying himself, though he could not have said so.
Lilith was dozing when Nikanj stroked Joseph's shoulders, rousing him. His voice roused her.
'What are you doing?' he demanded.
'Waking you.'
'I wasn't asleep!'
Silence.
'My god,' he said after a while. 'I did fall asleep, didn't I? You must have drugged me.'
'No.'
He rubbed his eyes, but made no effort to get up.
'Why didn't you. . . just do it?'
'I told you. This time you can choose.'
'I've chosen! You ignored me.'
'Your body said one thing. Your words said another.' It moved a sensory arm to the back of his neck, looping one coil loosely around his neck. 'This is the position,' it said. 'I'll stop now if you like.'
There was a moment of silence, then Joseph gave a long sigh. 'I can't give you-or myself-permission,' he said. 'No matter what I feel, I can't.'
Nikanj's head and body became mirror smooth. The change was so dramatic that Joseph jumped and drew back. 'Does that . . . amuse you somehow?' he asked bitterly.
'It pleases me. It's what I expected.'
'So. . . what happens now?'
'You are very strong-willed. You can hurt yourself as badly as you think necessary to achieve a goal or hold to a conviction.'
'Let go of me.'
It smoothed its tentacles again. 'Be grateful, Joe. I'm not going to let go of you.'
Lilith saw Joseph's body stiffen, struggle, then relax, and she knew Nikanj had read him correctly. He neither struggled nor argued as Nikanj positioned him more comfortably against its body. Lilith saw that he had closed his eyes again, his face peaceful. Now he was ready to accept what he had wanted from the beginning.
Silently, Lilith got up, stripped off her jacket, and went to the bed. She stood over it, looking down. For a moment, she saw Nikanj as she had once seen Jdahya-as a totally alien being, grotesque, repellant beyond mere ugliness with its night crawler body tentacles, its snake head tentacles, and its tendency to keep both moving, signaling attention and emotion.
