“When did you become such a drama queen?”
Why couldn’t she just let it go? But she couldn’t. She’d fallen in love with Cameron and all those strong feelings had wormed their way into her heart. She had to do something about them because she was pretty sure that if she continued to live without love, she would lose herself.
With a sigh, she remembered there was one person in the world she could talk to about her problems. She changed Jake’s diaper and got him dressed, then packed him in the car and drove to Sally’s house.
“What a nice surprise,” Sally said when she opened her front door.
“I hope you don’t mind that we stopped by without calling.”
“Are you kidding?” she said. “I love it. Come in.”
“Thanks.”
Sally led the way through her comfortable, stylish living room to her big sunny kitchen. “Don’t ever think you can’t drop in on me. I love seeing you.”
Jake blew bubbles and cooed as he bounced in his carrier.
“Yes, my little darling.” Sally tickled his belly. “I love seeing you, too.”
She pulled a pitcher of iced tea from the refrigerator, poured two glasses and placed them on napkins on the kitchen table. “Now sit and tell me what’s going on. Are you feeling okay? You look a bit down.”
Julia shook her hair back and held her shoulders up. “I don’t really know where to begin. I suppose I’ll start by saying, I’m in love with your son.”
“I assume you mean Cameron,” Sally said dryly.
Julia choked on her laugh. “Yes, of course.”
“Okay, then yes,” she said, chuckling. “Of course I know you love him, despite your inability to admit it at the wedding. It makes me so happy to hear you finally say it.”
Julia began shredding her napkin. “But he doesn’t love me, Sally.”
“What?” Frowning, Sally sat back in her chair. “Honey, of course he does. He loves you very much. I can tell with every look he gives you. I’ve never seen him so happy.”
“Why won’t he tell me, then?”
“Tell you what?”
Julia gave Sally a look of frustration. “Why won’t he tell me he loves me?”
Sally took a slow sip of her tea. “He’s never told you?”
“No,” Julia admitted, and buried her face in her hands. “And I feel so stupid, so needy. It’s making me sick inside. We actually agreed, when we got married, that love wouldn’t come into it.”
“You did what?” Sally sounded sincerely shocked.
“Oh, I know what you’re thinking,” Julia said. “But it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. We married in order to provide Jake with two parents who lived together and loved him. And I was just so happy to be a part of your family, I had to do it.”
“Oh, sweetie.” She sniffled.
“But now I’ve fallen in love with Cameron and I’ve told him, but he insists he’s not in love with me. And the thing is, Sally, we’re so happy otherwise. So maybe I should just stop whining and be content with what I’ve got.”
Julia sat up straight and looked at her mother-in-law with resolve. “But I can’t. I used to think I could be happy without love, but I want it all, Sally. I want him to love me.”
“Oh, dear.” Sally jumped up from the table and stooped down next to Julia, where she rubbed her arm and patted her cheek. “He does love you, sweetie. Believe me, I know my son. He’s not an easy man, but he’s worth the battle.”
“He really is,” Julia said through a light mist of tears.
“Now, you need to stop worrying so much.”
“I’m trying.”
“Good girl,” Sally said. “Now try harder.”
Julia laughed, then took hold of Sally’s hand and squeezed it. “But I need to ask you something really serious, and I hope you’ll keep it between us.”
“Anything, sweetie.”
Julia bit her lip, then took a deep breath and said what she’d come here to say. “Is there something about Cameron that makes him not want to love me? Oh, that sounds so stupid but I need to know. Is it something about me? Or is it him?”
“Oh, my,” Sally said, pushing herself up. She began to pace around the kitchen as she talked. “Poor Cameron. Your question makes me wonder if this whole thing might be because of his father. He was a horrible man. I never got the complete story because the records were sealed, but I knew he was violent. I don’t want to alarm you, but I did find out that the man killed Cameron’s mother, then killed himself.”
“Oh, that’s awful. Cameron’s never said anything.”
“No, he wouldn’t. But he was so unhappy when he first came to live with us.”
“Oh, God,” Julia whispered, as she considered the sad little boy he’d been back then.
“Then, when he was a senior in high school,” Sally said, “he met a girl.” She told Julia about Wendy. “He always blamed himself for her horrible behavior.”
“But that’s not fair,” Julia cried.
“No, but that’s Cameron. I’ll never forget it when he told me it was his fault and that his father was right.”
“Oh, dear.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have told you all this,” Sally said, frowning. “I don’t want you to worry that he might hurt you. He wouldn’t.”
Julia’s eyes widened in disbelief, then she started to laugh. “Hurt me? Cameron? He doesn’t have a violent bone in his body.”
Sally smiled. “It’s true. He never was much of a fighter. Oh, sure, he went and joined the marines, but it wasn’t because he was looking for a fight. My theory was that his early childhood was so chaotic, he was always seeking more control and order in his life. I think he appreciated that aspect of the military.”
Julia made a face. “Well, he certainly likes to control things, doesn’t he? But still, he wouldn’t hurt a fly. He’s the most gentle man I know.”
“Yes he is,” Sally said, then smiled slyly. “But I’m thinking you might need to ruffle his feathers a bit before he comes to that realization for himself.”
Julia frowned at her for a moment, then slowly, understanding dawned. “Oh, Sally, you’re a wise woman.”
She splayed her hands out. “That’s exactly what I keep telling my sons.”
Cameron brought her a beautiful butterfly pin made of yellow diamonds and sapphires.
“Oh, Cameron, it’s lovely,” she said. “But why?”
“No reason.”
She took a deep breath. “Are you sure it’s not because you’re in love with me?”
“Julia…”
“I know, I know.” She held up her hand. “It’s okay, I know you won’t say it. But I do want to make sure of one thing. You love Jake, right?”
“What? Of course I do,” he said and stared impatiently out the window.
“I’m glad to hear it, for your sake and Jake’s.”
“What are you getting at?” he asked.
She placed the lovely pin back in its cushioned jewelry box. She smiled at him and her tone turned blunt. “It’ll just make the custody agreement easier to deal with once Jake and I move back to my house.”
“Once you-what?” Stunned, he spun her around to face him. “What’s that supposed to mean? You’re not moving out. We’re married. You’re not going anywhere.”
She clasped her hands together. “I thought it would be enough, Cameron. But it’s not. You’re a wonderful man, kind and attentive, and so good with Jake. You’re an amazing lover and a great friend. But you don’t love me, and I want a husband who will love me.”
“I’m your husband,” he bellowed, then remembered the baby and lowered his voice. “This is all wrong, Julia.
