Bitterblue

She ran into the foyer and down the hallway and burst into Helda's rooms, but Helda wasn't there either. On her way back up the hallway, she stopped for a moment, burst into her own bedroom, and ran to her mother's chest. Kneeling over it, gripping its edges, she forced her heart to hold the word that named what Thiel had done. 'Betrayal.'

Mama, she thought. I don't understand. How could Thiel be such a liar, when you loved him and trusted him? When he helped us escape? When he's been so kind and gentle with me, and promised me never to lie again? I don't understand what's going on. How can this be?

The outer doors creaked open. 'Helda?' she whispered. 'Helda?' she said again in a stronger voice.

There was no answer. As she rose and went to her bedroom door, a strange sound reached her, coming from the direction of the sitting room. Metal thudding on carpet. Bitterblue ran into the foyer, then stopped as Thiel came rushing out of the sitting room. He stopped too, at the sight of her. His arms were full of papers and his eyes were wild and heartsick and full of shame. He locked those eyes on her face.

Bitterblue stood in her tracks. 'How long have you been lying to me?'

He spoke the words in a whisper. 'As long as you have been queen.'

Bitterblue cried out. 'You're no better than my father!' she said. 'I hate you. You've crushed my heart.'

'Bitterblue,' he said. 'Forgive me for what I've done and for what I must do.'

Then he pushed through the doors and was gone.

38

SHE RAN INTO the sitting room. The fake crown lay on the carpet and Death's pages were gone.

She ran back into the foyer and pushed through the outer doors. She was nearly to the end of the corridor when she turned back, ran past her own startled Lienid Guard, and pounded on Giddon's door. Pounded again and again. Giddon pulled the door open, rumpled and barefoot and clearly only half awake.

'Will you go to the library,' she said, 'and make sure Death is safe?'

'All right,' he said, bleary and confused.

'If you see Thiel,' she said, 'stop him and don't let him go. He's learned about the journals and a thousand things have happened and I think he intends to do something terrible, Giddon, but I don't know what it is,' and she ran.

SHE BURST INTO the lower offices. 'Where is Thiel?' she cried.

Every face in the room stared back at her. Rood stood and said quietly, 'We thought he was with you, Lady Queen. He told us he was going to find you and talk to you.'

'He came and left,' said Bitterblue. 'I don't know where he went or what he intends to do. If he comes here, please don't let him go. Please?' she said, turning to Holt, who sat in a chair by the door, staring at her dazedly. Bitterblue grabbed Holt's arm. 'Please,' she pleaded. 'Holt, don't let him go.'

'I won't, Lady Queen,' said Holt.

Bitterblue ran away from the offices, not reassured.

SHE WENT TO Thiel's room next, but he wasn't there either.

The air in the great courtyard, when she reached it, stabbed her with its coldness. Members of the Fire Guard were running in and out of the library.

Bitterblue rushed in after them, ran through smoke, and saw Giddon on the floor leaning over Death's body. 'Death,' she cried, running to them, throwing herself down, her sword clunking on the floor. 'Death!'

'He's alive,' Giddon said.

Shaking with relief, Bitterblue hugged her insensible librarian; kissed his cheek. 'Will he be all right?'

'He's been knocked on the head and his hands are scraped up, but that seems to be all. You're all right? The fire is out, but the smoke is still thick.'

'Where's Thiel?'

'He was already gone when I got here, Lady Queen,' said Giddon. 'The desk was in flames and Death was lying on the floor behind it, so I dragged him away. Then I ran to the courtyard, screamed for the Fire Guard, and stole some poor fellow's coat to beat the fire down. Lady Queen,' he said, 'I'm sorry, but most of the journals were destroyed.'

'It doesn't matter,' Bitterblue said. 'You saved Death.' And then she looked straight at Giddon for the first time and cried out, for ragged gashes scored his cheekbone.

'It was only the cat, Lady Queen,' he said. 'I found him hiding under the burning desk, stupid creature,' and Bitterblue threw her arms around Giddon.

'You saved Lovejoy.'

'Yes, I suppose,' said Giddon, sooty and bloody, his arms full of the tearful queen. 'Everyone is safe. There, there.'

'Will you stay with Death and watch over him?'

'Where are you going?'

'I've got to find Thiel.'

'Lady Queen,' he said, 'Thiel is dangerous. Send the Monsean Guard.'

'I don't trust the Monsean Guard. I don't trust anyone but us. He won't hurt me, Giddon.'

'You don't know that.'

'Yes, I do.'

'Take your Lienid Guard,' Giddon said, looking seriously into her face. 'Will you promise me that you'll take your Lienid Guard?'

'No,' she said. 'But I'll promise you that Thiel will not hurt me.' She pulled his face down and kissed him on the forehead as she had Death; then she ran.

HOW SHE KNEW, she couldn't say, but she did. Something in her heart, something underneath the pain of betrayal and, in fact, more fundamental, told her. Fear told her where Thiel had gone.

She did have the foresight, as she flew under the castle portcullis onto the drawbridge, to stop before one of the astonished Lienid Guard who was less loomingly tall than the others, and demand his coat.

'Lady Queen,' he said as he shouldered out of it, helping her into it, 'you'd best not. The snow is working itself up to a blizzard.'

'Then you'd better give me your hat and gloves as well,' she said, 'and then go inside to warm yourself. Did Thiel come this way?'

'No, Lady Queen,' the guard said.

He'd taken the tunnel, then. Pulling on the hat and gloves, Bitterblue ran east.

THE STAIRS THAT led pedestrians onto Winged Bridge were built into the side of one of the bridge's great stone foundations. Stairs with no railing, in a wind that couldn't decide on a direction, in deep shadow as the clouds packed themselves tight.

Big footprints marked the new snowfall on the steps.

Fishing under her too-big coat, she unsheathed her sword, feeling stronger with it in her hand. Then she lifted her foot and placed it into Thiel's first footprint. Then the next step, then the next.

At the top of the stairs, the surface of the bridge shone blue and white, and the wind screamed. 'I'm not afraid of heights!' she screamed back at the wind. It touched some deep inner current of courage to scream that lie, so she did it again. The wind screamed to drown her out.

Through the falling snow, she could make out a person standing far ahead on the bridge. The bridge was a narrow, slippery hill of marble that she must climb in order to reach the form that was Thiel.

Thiel was at the bridge's edge. He grabbed the parapet with both hands and suddenly Bitterblue was running, sword in hand, screaming words Thiel could not hear. The surface beneath her thudding feet changed to wood, with more give, a hollow sound, snow sticking, and he hoisted his knee onto the parapet and she pushed herself, pounded, reached him, screaming, grabbed his arm and yanked him back. Crying out in amazement, losing his balance, he reeled back onto the bridge.

Pushing herself between Thiel and the parapet, Bitterblue whipped her sword point to his throat, not caring that it made no sense to threaten a person with bodily harm who was trying to kill himself. 'No,' she said. 'Thiel,